Health: Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not...

By wtbfiber - 05/03/2012 05:12 - United States

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 224

You deserved it 6 323

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 482

You deserved it 7 414

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 609

You deserved it 32 974

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 012

You deserved it 5 391

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 059

You deserved it 4 592

Great timing

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 113

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 12:00 - United States - Ardmore

Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 149

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 322

By Shan.nel - 20/11/2017 19:30 - United States - Greer

Today, I met with my trainer, despite having an upset stomach. Have you ever tried to hold in diarrhea while doing squats? It doesn't end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 440

You deserved it 1 332

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 6 747

saIty 17

Monday 5 March 2012 12:05

ARRRRRHHHH!!!!!!! *Ploop*

CTVrhythmguitari 8

Monday 5 March 2012 12:31

Dude. Fiber.

Comments

Spazz420 7

Monday 5 March 2012 19:16

Seriously try hemp hearts. Seeds that taste kinda like sunflower seeds. Helps with pooping. Within 24hrs and is natural and doesn't give u The *****

ladywhitestripes 2

Monday 5 March 2012 19:28

you might develop more than pains in your stomach... can u say "hemorrhiods"

friedbunnies 9

Monday 5 March 2012 20:15

Try some fiber.

Rain4lovee 0

Monday 5 March 2012 21:10

I recommend drinking more water

Timmeeh 17

Monday 5 March 2012 22:00

Consider some Weetabix for breakfast and an apple (with skin) for lunch.

rogerover 19

Monday 5 March 2012 22:24

Try eating some fruits n veggies!

someindiandude 6

Monday 5 March 2012 23:34

Three words: authentic Indian food.

hurrican_fml 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 0:05

A trip to the hospital might be benifital.

NagatoPain 4

Tuesday 6 March 2012 0:18

And I read this in the bathroom while taking a dump......:)

projudy 9

Tuesday 6 March 2012 0:28

Go see a doctor because straining like that is so bad for you D:

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 37 095

You deserved it 5 867

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 93

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 258

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 112

You deserved it 4 876

Today, we overheard a customer in our store talking on the phone about how she'd been exposed to someone positive for COVID-19, and was supposed to be at home in quarantine just in case. The terrifying thing is how many other people come into our store when they shouldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 119

Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 491

You deserved it 4 380

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 238

You deserved it 485

Today, I found out that the motivational quote I've been living by for months is actually from a misattributed SpongeBob SquarePants meme. No wonder my colleagues looked at me strangely during team meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 502