Health: Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not...

By wtbfiber - 05/03/2012 05:12 - United States

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 224

You deserved it 6 323

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 481

You deserved it 7 414

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 608

You deserved it 32 974

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 011

You deserved it 5 391

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 058

You deserved it 4 592

Great timing

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 113

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 12:00 - United States - Ardmore

Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 149

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 322

By Shan.nel - 20/11/2017 19:30 - United States - Greer

Today, I met with my trainer, despite having an upset stomach. Have you ever tried to hold in diarrhea while doing squats? It doesn't end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 440

You deserved it 1 331

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 6 747

saIty 17

Monday 5 March 2012 12:05

ARRRRRHHHH!!!!!!! *Ploop*

CTVrhythmguitari 8

Monday 5 March 2012 12:31

Dude. Fiber.

Comments

santel_fml 8

Monday 5 March 2012 12:39

Eat some prunes but stay close to a toilet :p

spencerbalog 0

Monday 5 March 2012 12:52

Tape worm.

texas_redneck88 10

Monday 5 March 2012 13:04

Ummm you might wanna get that checked out. In the mean time, drink some magnesium citrate

minagiv 11

Monday 5 March 2012 13:18

Get some Miralax or Colace!

DocBastard 38

Monday 5 March 2012 13:22

Don't listen to all these crazy people advocating laxatives or fiber or drinking more water. The only proven method of relieving your constipation is DocBastard's Anal Violator 5000, now available in KaySL Size. Oh yeah, feel the burn! Order now!