By lefthandspanker - United States - Craig Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 24792 You deserved it 1610 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DeActivated - United States - West Jordan Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML I agree, your life sucks 44115 You deserved it 5934 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML I agree, your life sucks 32059 You deserved it 3960 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bortenssen - Australia - Perth It was either an expensive event, or learn to manage your money. Today, I found out that the reason I couldn’t buy a commemorative jacket to wear at my rugby club's 50th anniversary was because the event had already happened. I paid in full for the event, and it cost me most of my savings. FML I agree, your life sucks 782 You deserved it 1361 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/6/2020 05:04 Acceptance Today, I can't look my roommate in the eye because he walked in on me showing my drag friends my new dress on Discord last night. My roommate is really conservative. We used to get along so well too. FML I agree, your life sucks 1455 You deserved it 384 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Drama Llama Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 35151 You deserved it 10062 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By southernluxe - United States Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML I agree, your life sucks 41787 You deserved it 10570 287 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML I agree, your life sucks 41392 You deserved it 14690 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML I agree, your life sucks 28457 You deserved it 4004 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Downey Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML I agree, your life sucks 30798 You deserved it 58677 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML I agree, your life sucks 13191 You deserved it 44657 225 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML I agree, your life sucks 3452 You deserved it 538 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ashley Harn Today, I found out I'm allergic to something in the city water. I've had itchy patches and rashes all over my body, but I can't afford to pay for the filtration system that would solve it. My landlord forbids any modifications to the shower and washing machine. FML I agree, your life sucks 2527 You deserved it 133 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katlego Maduma - 23/3/2021 22:59 Sneaking around Today, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with his girl bestie for 4 years. I also found out he's been having threesomes with his male bestie. Both people have been around me and my family this entire time. We've been married for 15 years. Joke's on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1863 You deserved it 110 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML I agree, your life sucks 34211 You deserved it 3485 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stan - United States Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML I agree, your life sucks 33665 You deserved it 9562 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JustplainSad - 15/8/2020 23:01 People are strange Today, I found out my friend of 15 years, who cut off our weekly gaming group during Covid after a fight, is speaking to everyone but me. I wasn't even in the fight, I just checked in to see if he was OK after. FML I agree, your life sucks 1401 You deserved it 145 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/2/2021 11:01 Cognitive dissonance Today, in the same conversation with the same person, I got chewed out because our kids want to spend more time with me than her, and also because the kids spend too much time with her and she can’t work from home effectively. Can anyone explain how that works? FML I agree, your life sucks 723 You deserved it 72 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alex327 - United States - Dayton Today, I tapped my sister on her shoulder to get her attention. I guess I was too close to her neck, which is where she is most ticklish, and ended up in the emergency room with a broken nose after she elbowed me in the face. I was just trying to repay her the $10 I borrowed from her. FML I agree, your life sucks 22242 You deserved it 2012 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OhDamn - United Kingdom Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML I agree, your life sucks 57841 You deserved it 2970 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/1/2021 02:01 On a scale of 1 to Annoying… Today, I was telling my friend how much I love my 20-year-old kitchen scale, because it has this one handy function that even new ones don’t have. Later, my mom melted it on the stove and isn’t even convinced she should buy me a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 839 You deserved it 58 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 22:02 - United Kingdom Dodged a bullet Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her father looked me up and down, said, “No” then went back to his TV. My girlfriend immediately broke up with me and threw me out. I even had to get a really expensive taxi home, because we’d driven in her car and I had no idea what part of the city I was in. FML I agree, your life sucks 1586 You deserved it 116 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By demispark - United States - West Palm Beach Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML I agree, your life sucks 45212 You deserved it 4827 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Target - United States Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 37910 You deserved it 2787 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KalaKa - United States Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML I agree, your life sucks 31862 You deserved it 3767 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By YouAREthefather - United States Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 45264 You deserved it 3827 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chipmunk - United States Today, my boyfriend of seven years dumped me because he said my cheeks getting way too fat for his taste and he didn't want to be with a chipmunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 39603 You deserved it 7642 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Briana Bettis Don't dip your pen in company ink, etc. Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML I agree, your life sucks 516 You deserved it 3077 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blink_kid - United Kingdom - Bathgate Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 25593 You deserved it 3215 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sisco2901 - Slovakia Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 35259 You deserved it 5279 207 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LifeLikeLemons - United States - Phoenix Today, I got rear-ended trying to move off the road because I heard a police siren. It was the radio. FML I agree, your life sucks 8400 You deserved it 2446 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Taylor - United States Today, after spending time with my daughter and painting her nails she gives me a hug and says, "Mommy I love you, but I love daddy much better!" FML I agree, your life sucks 37800 You deserved it 4521 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Peru Classic Jeff Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML I agree, your life sucks 8770 You deserved it 1502 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Portugal - Sintra Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 42939 You deserved it 7261 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML I agree, your life sucks 30996 You deserved it 7391 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By probablyfired Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML I agree, your life sucks 1265 You deserved it 542 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sadgirl Today, I was talking to my boyfriend's mom and the subject of marriage came up. She told me she hopes I'll find my prince charming very soon and leave her son alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 6054 You deserved it 430 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Duchamp would be proud Today, my five year-old niece thought that it would be acceptable to carve her artwork all over our toilet seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 1313 You deserved it 147 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML I agree, your life sucks 21195 You deserved it 45351 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wabbyfish - United States - Minneapolis Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML I agree, your life sucks 45419 You deserved it 8139 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML I agree, your life sucks 33695 You deserved it 3529 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grajax | 24 #6395306 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:03 Superstitions are the dumbest. Send a private message 151 6 Reply
By pjsr | 32 #6395312 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:04 Maybe show her how you can speak sign language with that left hand Send a private message 123 4 Reply
By _Heisenberg__ | 15 #6395305 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:03 Use your left hand to slap some sense into that old twat Send a private message 21 47 Reply
Reply shemademedoit | 20 #6395323 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:08 ^ no -.- but anyways I'm left handed too woot woot! Send a private message 8 21 Reply
Reply iiTzNeeNerz | 26 #6395405 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:52 Stay away from Heisenberg. Clearly, he IS the danger. Send a private message 29 4 Reply
By grajax | 24 #6395306 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:03 Superstitions are the dumbest. Send a private message 151 6 Reply
Reply LyricaSilvan | 29 #6395348 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:16 It's a bit more than a superstition. In older times, many people thought left-handedness was evil and a mark of the devil. It's really more of a religious thing than a superstition. Send a private message 34 7 Reply
Reply DoomSkuller | 28 #6395360 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:23 very little difference, majority of superstitions were born of religion Send a private message 55 3 Reply
Reply i_wuz_nver_here | 31 #6396179 - Saturday 29 August 2015 7:04 Or vice versa... Send a private message 3 1 Reply
By 4funzies | 13 #6395308 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:03 #EndLeftyShaming2k15 Send a private message 22 31 Reply
By Hildy93 | 21 #6395310 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:04 Just say, "Hey grandma it's 2015 lighten up" Send a private message 4 26 Reply
By pjsr | 32 #6395312 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:04 Maybe show her how you can speak sign language with that left hand Send a private message 123 4 Reply
By imlovingmylife | 8 #6395314 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:05 That's how old people are sometimes! Just gotta treat em like a child and be understanding b/c they don't know any better. Send a private message 17 9 Reply
By maryic4ever | 19 #6395316 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:05 As a leftie I feel your pain Send a private message 28 6 Reply
By lakid824 | 10 #6395317 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:05 Keep using your left hand for writing. If that's unladylike then so be it. Send a private message 9 18 Reply
Reply leogachi | 15 #6395474 - Friday 28 August 2015 9:33 @8 I really don't think she had any plans to switch to writing with her right hand. 33 0 Reply
By beeferjay | 34 #6395322 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:08 leftys rule! righties drool Send a private message 10 26 Reply
Reply PhinIt2WinIt | 24 #6395540 - Friday 28 August 2015 12:35 2,4,6,8 everybody writes, okay! both have good both have bad, if you can, shut up, lad. (I put too much effort to this) Send a private message 19 3 Reply
Reply fader48080 | 10 #6395584 - Friday 28 August 2015 14:28 @40 or not nearly enough. Send a private message 0 12 Reply
Reply beeferjay | 34 #6395630 - Friday 28 August 2015 16:26 #40 somewhere there is a park missing a bench Send a private message 1 7 Reply
By zaidthunder1 | 27 #6395341 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:13 As a fellow leftie, I know what that's like. It's like my left hand is being regulated. Send a private message 20 3 Reply
Today, I went on a date. I didn’t want to go to his house, but we all have needs. I told him I should leave because I needed my medication in the morning.... I agree, your life sucks 167 You deserved it 104 3 Comments
Today, after drawing a huge portrait of a homeless man to raise awareness about homelessness, I showed it to him. When I told him I was glad he liked the... I agree, your life sucks 408 You deserved it 88 1 Comments