By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 01:04
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If your boyfriend won't propose, do it yourself. Play a role reversal on him.
some people don't really want marriage, even if they want to spend their life with someone. it's not that unusual these days. or, maybe there's some issues in your relationship that aren't big enough to end it, but mean he isn't sure he wants to take that step. you can't judge your own relationship on someone else's, and if this is her second marriage in 5 years, that's not a good thing. surely better to wait and only get married once?
You need to talk to your boyfriend about marriage OP. Stop beating around the bush with "not-so-subtle-hints," you need to ask if he wants to get married or has any plans to ever marry you, because if your ultimate goal in a relationship is marriage and his isn't, then you have two different life paths entirely. If you are old enough to settle down and get married, you're old enough to have an adult conversation about this instead of walking around it like a child.
Five years is plenty long enough to know if you want to marry your current partner. If he hasn't proposed by now, he probably isn't going to. If marriage is what you want, you should seek a partner looking for the same. Don't think of it as five wasted years, think of it as not wasting the rest of your life.
My fiancé waited six and a half years before proposing to me. It wasn't something he ever saw as important (we own our own home, we might as well be married) but he knew it was something I wanted and we both knew it would happen eventually. We had very clear communication about our expectations in the relationship which was very important.
Some couples take longer. It also depends on how old you were when you got together. One of my sisters was with her boyfriend for 3 years before they got married (they started dating when she was 24) and my other sister was with her boyfriend for 10 years before they got married (because they started dating when they were 15!)
Maybe the guy if upset that OP hasn't proposed yet. 5 years is plenty of time to figure out if she wants to spend the rest of her life with him so she should have proposed. OP's BF is probably thinking she doesn't want marriage and is going to leave her for someone who does.