Kids: Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her... - FML

By ugly - 26/06/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 911

You deserved it 4 434

Empathy lives

The mainframe had been haxored

Kids are gross

Hidden talent

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 14:01

Today, my son brought home his Muslim girlfriend and I had to watch my husband almost physically restraining himself from making a racist comment, especially since she was wearing a headscarf. No, I was not aware he was this much of a racist when I married him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 251

By pizzagurl - 09/05/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 161

You deserved it 273 990

By Jessica - 19/03/2011 21:13 - Romania

Today, at 21 years of age, my doctor confirmed that I am, indeed, going bald. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, even expected, if I wasn't a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 365

You deserved it 3 464

By crimsoncon - 25/11/2011 10:24

Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 441

You deserved it 2 796

By PickedOnByDamien - 02/10/2013 08:12 - United States - Holyoke

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 394

You deserved it 54 789

By kringr - 06/06/2011 00:52 - United States

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 200

You deserved it 134 249

By hopelesscollegestudent - 21/09/2012 16:22 - Canada

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 970

You deserved it 2 006

By teea - 15/11/2012 23:34 - Australia - Saint Lucia

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 402

You deserved it 2 554

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 173

You deserved it 9 579

By you - 30/10/2012 19:46 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 733

You deserved it 78 763

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 01:43 - United States

Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 487

You deserved it 4 557

By JessykaB - 28/08/2010 05:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 797

You deserved it 7 308

By rapper in training - 11/02/2012 01:02 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 717

You deserved it 3 091

By WorkerBee - 17/03/2019 02:00

Today, I found out I didn't get accepted into a program I was nominated to attend at work that all other applicants with less experience than myself did. I found out when they asked if I had gotten the acceptance email. They didn't even bother telling me I was rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 157

Management 101

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 04:01 - South Africa

Today, I got a call from the bank, telling me my mom's company is going broke. She's been on holiday for a month, and I had been appointed to manage it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 164

By -_____- - 31/07/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 8 035

By oh my son - 23/12/2012 06:02 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 628

You deserved it 5 726

By Anonymous - 25/05/2016 17:39 - United States - Dearborn

Today, as always, I'd be so incredibly happy if my girlfriend loved me even half as much as she loves her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 079

You deserved it 1 873

By Anonymous - 18/03/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 3 990

By skrewedguy - 08/12/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 609

You deserved it 6 604

By sadmama - 23/02/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that while my mother-in-law claimed to be babysitting my son, she was actually dropping him off at an unlicensed “day care” in a shady part of town so she could go out. How did I find out? The house was raided by police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 665

You deserved it 319

Cucked

By Anonymous - 21/12/2021 20:01

Spicy

Today, my wife confessed to me that she used to sext her old coworker, and almost had sex with him. The bad part is that it turned me on. Should I encourage her? FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 837

By Scarlett_Pixie - 24/12/2016 09:46 - Australia - Toowoomba

Today, my partner convinced both of our little brothers that we are naming our son Obi-Wan. They now won't stop rubbing my belly and quoting Star Wars. This is going to be one long Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 462

You deserved it 1 058

By Anonymous - 08/10/2014 03:15 - United States - San Diego

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 362

You deserved it 2 912

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 12:14 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 651

You deserved it 5 302

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 17:13 - United States - Antioch

Spicy

Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her uncontrollable queefing problem. Excuse me while I find a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 137

You deserved it 2 315

By Anonymous - 21/09/2010 14:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 289

You deserved it 14 618

By dammit hearing aid - 10/07/2014 22:17 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 22 241

By missmolliss - 25/06/2015 20:59 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I keep getting calls from companies that I applied to for interviews. The thing is, I moved 1,000 miles away a week ago because I couldn't find a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 096

You deserved it 3 360

By ohno - 01/12/2011 14:38 - United States

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 327

You deserved it 5 425

By taiannalynn5 - 02/03/2011 23:43

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 923

You deserved it 7 733

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 21:17 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 269

You deserved it 2 068

By Anonymous - 29/02/2016 22:56 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 705

You deserved it 2 395

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 643

You deserved it 3 576

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 072

You deserved it 2 488

By failedmusician - 03/06/2009 10:06 - New Zealand

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 697

You deserved it 58 947

Spit or Swallow?

By buymeflavoredlube - 05/06/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 581

You deserved it 918

By Anonymous - 28/06/2014 20:40 - United States - Oakland

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 072

You deserved it 4 595

By squizzlebee - 24/02/2017 03:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I saw on Facebook that a friend left her job where I also used to work, as she posted a picture of her farewell gifts, including cards, balloons and cookies. Normally, I'd be happy for her, except when I left I was told they'd "stopped doing farewell presents", and as such, I'd got nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 442

You deserved it 716

By Ringless - 25/02/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 210

You deserved it 3 598

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:20

Did the baby tell her that? No? Then she has no proof.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:22

That is what brown bags are made for- don't forget the eye slits. just a suggestion...

Comments

stormchaser24 24

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:19

sorry op. that sucks.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:29

then dont make that "FUUUUU--" face.-_-

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:30

That's mean. Even if she is mad at you, its still not acceptable.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:36

i know the feeling:(

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:37

the ugly truth

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:43

the brown paper bag technique could help you out here...(I know I probably spelled technique wrong but don't eat me please grammar Nazis! D:)

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:58

OP's sister is just jealous of OP being liked more

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Sunday 26 June 2011 17:49

its nothing to be upset about. and it doesn't mean you're ugly! when i was a kid i used to be scared of teddy bears but that doesnt mean they're ugly! kids are like that...

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Sunday 26 June 2011 19:13

It's OK. My aunt uses me to scare her 2 year old daughter into doing what she wants her to do.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 19:34

You know, many siblings actually look alike...

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Sunday 26 June 2011 19:41

I used to be scared of my aunt cuz she would always pinch my cheeks

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Monday 27 June 2011 0:08

Maybe you took it wrong...maybe she was just playing with you?.. my sister and I do that all the time...and we say much worse things to each other...and we sound serious about them too. don't take it to heart, get back at her.

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Monday 27 June 2011 5:10

Solution: Take off the mask.

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Monday 27 June 2011 6:01

OP's username is "ugly" Haha

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:20

Did the baby tell her that? No? Then she has no proof.

lionandthelamb61 9

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:34

Yeah, because I'm sure the kid screams uncontrollably at the sight of the OP because she is so unbearably beautiful...

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:38

Technically, the baby could start crying or screaming and have a really scared expression…

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Sunday 26 June 2011 17:30

um no it's not you op, most babies are just damn well scared of everything. From my guess the baby is a new born? So it's frightened by all these NEW* faces. Your sister is an idiot.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 22:53

a baby can't tell you vocally that they're hungry or tired either. its the physical actions that they do that let us know what they want..or in this case dislike:)

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Sunday 26 June 2011 23:43

it sucks that your sisters treats you like that but OP dont take is so seriously. its a baby for gods sake.. they get scared by alot of stuff

lilwaynerockz_fml 12

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Monday 27 June 2011 2:44

like those legs in your picture

zuzupetalsYO 11

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Tuesday 28 June 2011 8:08

haha!!

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Saturday 16 July 2011 6:43

Maybe she was jealous that OP could sing a better lullaby than her!!

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:21

yeah right... your sister prob made tht up bc she might b made at u

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:31

Ummmm....what???

Iwashere12345 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:35

yes, the sister is really 'made' at her. learn how to spell, dumbass

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:52

i doubt he couldn't spell it... you know there is something called a typo

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Sunday 26 June 2011 19:13

57- while that may be a typo, you never know because of how the rest of the comment is written.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 22:41

i dont see anything wrong with the rest of the comment... maybe im just so genius that i can read spelling mistakes and grammar errors without having to correct them

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Monday 27 June 2011 0:30

iPods these days with auto-correct. sorry bout the guys.

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Monday 27 June 2011 0:30

iPods these days with auto-correct. sorry bout the guys.

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Monday 27 June 2011 1:04

So auto correct changed "that" into "tht" ?

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Monday 27 June 2011 6:03

No. She's just making up excuses.

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Monday 27 June 2011 7:58

144 No shit Sherlock ;-?

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:22

she could be saying that just to get rid off you, ohwell sucks to be you...

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:22

That is what brown bags are made for- don't forget the eye slits. just a suggestion...

lionandthelamb61 9

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:37

My thoughts precisely.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 17:52

she put a bag on my head "still counts"

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Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:02

ha

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:22

dress up as It. scare baby ???????? PR

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:24

Profit

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:23

That's too cold and blunt to be taken lightly... Sorry OP...

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:23

Hey balest22 you spelled mad wrong. and I'm very sorry about that

1215116a 14

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:27

11, their is a such thing as a reply button...

1215116a 14

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:29

10, their is a such thing as a reply button...

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:30

PIKACKOOOO !! lool

1215116a 14

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:31

Stupid iPhone messed up TWICE now let's see how many thumbs down I get for a comment that doesn't even offend....

xleanne_aLly 23

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:33

What the f*ck. you don't make any sense.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:35

shite... i meant pikacho or however you spell it

AnagenisisZagus 13

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:37

PIKACHU! PIKACHU, GAYBOII!

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:39

oh aye... cheers

lionandthelamb61 9

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:44

I once waited on a family where the father kept a menu propped up in the middle of the table the entire meal as he sat across from his wife and baby. I tried to pick it up at one point but the father stopped me and explained that if the baby saw his face she would start screaming bloody murder. He wasn't ugly, though, he just had a ton of piercings and tatoos and long hair. It does happen.

lionandthelamb61 9

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:47

^meant to be a reply to 10.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:56

You know what he meant though so it shouldn't be a big deal. I like it when people spell words right and when they don't use text talk but I don't go around correcting people for the tiniest mistakes.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 19:51

of you read the thing right it said she probably MADE THAT UP just saayinn'.

1215116a 14

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:23

How is a baby scared of someone's face?

1215116a 14

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:25

10, their is a such thing as a reply button...

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:53

10 well you see their face is shaped in such a way it frightens children

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:24

Look on the bright side! At least you can't look any worse!

lionandthelamb61 9

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Sunday 26 June 2011 16:49

That's probably not true, and if by chance it is, that's a pretty dark bright side.

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Sunday 26 June 2011 19:55

That really doesn't sound like a very pleasant bright side. Actually, since I rarely go to greet my aunt's kids, she has told them how frightening and evil I am to instill fear in them. Now whenever they see me the little girl tends to run away. So I feel your pain OP, when the kid gets older they'll probably think it was pretty funny or feel bad.

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 3

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 713

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 815