By Creeped_out_n_stuck - 05/08/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 544
You deserved it 3 726

Same thing different taste

Top comments

gusgus36 5

Well, that will be a fun 11 months...



did he not offered you enough money

OP may want to lock his door at night for the next 11 months I would say.

gunmania0 12

If OP is not careful it will suck for him...literally.

Don't accept drinks from him, you may regret it

@12, 25, 27: Sit on it and rotate, gents. The fact that someone has demonstrated attraction to their own gender doesn't mean that person lacks basic self-control. The rampant gay man is NOT going to break down your door and rape you. You don't need to sew your asshole shut any time a guy walks by in a rainbow wig. Frankly, in general, blatant homophobia is a turn-off for most gay men (and gay women, as well). In short, if you're scared of the gay man sexing you up, you probably aren't his type. This isn't to say that there aren't gay men who will force sex, because rapists come in every color, creed, and lifestyle. Just keep in mind, there's a difference between them and other gay men: the rapists are rapists, and the others aren't. OP: discuss it with your roommate (presumably when he sobers up). Tell him that you aren't gay, and aren't attracted to him. Tell him that if he IS gay, that's fine by you, you simply don't feel that way about him.

Thanks Dr. Phil for that enlightenment. Did you actually read the post? If the kid threw a tantrum because his roommate wouldn't strip for him on command, he probably is the sort of person you should be worried about. The value of the dollar is declining rapidly in this country, but not at your local strip club. For one dollar a stripper will walk across a stage and shake it in your face. Support an aspiring medical student.

57, all of that was completely unnecessary lol

kitkatt978 5

your completely unnecessary

@59: No, I don't think someone who asks, asks again, and offers money, then cries when denied is a serious threat. Rapists typically don't 'ask', they 'insist', often violently. Someone who turns away, dejected, when turned down is acting exactly like a rapist doesn't. Frankly, it sounds like the roommate was drunk.

@ 57 I don't see how the OP or any of the comments you referred to displayed homophobia. Just because the OP didn't want to dance naked in front of his roommate doesn't make him a homophobe. And the comments weren't referring to homosexual persons at all, they made joking references to the roommates strange behavior (demanding for someone to do a naked dance for you and even offering money after they declined, and then sulking about it). Saying that the joking comments about the OP's roommate is homophobic when it clearly is not is kinda homophobic itself, in my opinion.

I'd shake my bootie for him if the cash was right. $1000/hour. :)

Umm I was joking!! I have no problem is people who are gay, and I'd never just assume they are rapist. It was a JOKE! lol

@94: Implications that homosexuality = sex-crazed rapist is blatant homophobia. 'Jokingly' saying "Lock your door, or your roommate will rape you in your sleep." is no different than 'jokingly' saying, "Lock your wallet or your black roommate will take your money." Few would disagree that the second is racist...what is different about the first?

@97: It's that sort of 'joke' which drives teenagers who've been called gay (even wrongly) to suicide. It isn't funny and it IS demonstrably harmful.

MerrikBarbarian 9

are you actually gay? I am and I still saw the humor in that. it's obvious the roommate is a tad too forward, and in context of the fml the comments are appropriate.

@102: I'm not, no. I'm not saying I don't see the humor, I'm just pointing out that continuing that stereotype is NOT a good thing. Whether it's funny or not (and those were, IMHO, not) is immaterial compared to the harm they perpetuate.

@ Kanitukeebob your the only one who is comparing a 'sex-crazed rapist' to someone who is homosexual. I have carefully reread this fml and comments 12, 25, and 27 over and over and nowhere do I find anything insulting to homosexuals. If the OP was a girl this situation would still be bad, locking the door had nothing to do with a "stereotypical sex-crazed homosexual", the term "suck" (used in that context) doesn't apply to any sexuality in general and is more of an insult to a person rather than a homosexual slur, as you put it, and #27 did not say that only homosexuals can be rapists (I guess you forgot that girls can get raped to). Basically you are the one who is stereotyping, as you are the one whom first brought it up. I'm sorry if I came across as rude, but I can't stand it when someone calls people names. Look, fighting over the internet gets you nowhere, so lets set this aside and get back to the fml.

100, I surely wasn't making fun of homosexuals in ANY way! But if I offended you, or anyone else I'm sorry!!

-116 This is what I was thinking, it sounds as if some people where jumpin to conclusions.

@Cokie: Each of the jokes is based on the assumption that a gay or bi man who has been turned down immediately becomes a serious threat of rape. And as for your statement of the context of 'sucks' in #25, that context changed from non-offensive to 'rape joke' with the addition of the word 'literally'. The word 'literally' changed the context from the generic 'this is bad' as most people would have read it to the verb form (this is where the 'joke' was supposed to get it's 'humor'). In short, all three jokes were rape jokes. And rape jokes aren't funny, and are VERY offensive to people who have been raped, or who's loved ones have been raped. Add that to jokes at the expense of homosexuals - which also perpetuate stereotypes that are demonstrably harmful - and you get jokes that are overtly and deeply offensive.

TheWildRover 3

Seriously #162 stop taking yourself so f*cking seriously, nobody else does. This site is for people with a sense of HUMOR. Clearly you don't have one. That's the problem with America these days, people are so f*cking thin skinned. "Whah somebody hurted my feelings, I'm going to go slit my wrists and cry for help now." Grow the f*ck up. We live in a bad world with mean people, get over it and get over yourself. If you can't handle a silly joke, how the hell are you going to handle your boss yelling at you because you did a shitty job on a project he assigned you? Words are just that, words, they can't cut or beat or hurt you unless you LET THEM. Makes you wonder how America grew to be such a great nation with a bunch of pansies worried about somebody calling them a "do-do head."

TheWildRover 3

@116 well said! People need to stop taking themselves so seriously on this site. is so that people can laugh at the misfortunes of others (otherwise people wouldn't post their misfortunes). People need to realize that it's OK to laugh at people once in a while and stop lecturing everybody on message boards...

@TheWildRover: You obviously haven't read any of my other comments (on other threads) if you think I lack a sense of humor. If you don't see why I said what I said when I said it, you must lack reading comprehension - I specifically answered your "it's just a joke" point already. Twice. None of what was said hurt *me*. That doesn't mean the jokes aren't hurtful. Them being jokes and this being a humor site aren't valid excuses. Rape jokes are never funny, and SHOULD never be funny. You'd understand if someone you cared about had been raped (which I hope never happens).

TheWildRover 3

I just read through the comments above, and you were the only person to actually mention anything about rape. Or at least the first one. Frankly I don't care if it was a dude coming onto a dude or a dude coming onto a chick, etc. Bottom line is it was CREEPY, if it was a straight dude saying that to a chick I would think it was just as creepy and thus is deserved of the above responses. Oh and I have read some of your other comments, and dude I hate to break it to you... but you are NOT funny.

12: OP may want to lock his door at night for the next 11 months I would say. 25: If OP is not careful it will suck for him...literally. 27: Don't accept drinks from him, you may regret it None of those are about rape? I guess 12 wasn't saying that if the OP didn't lock his door, his roommate would break in and rape him in his sleep. I guess 25 didn't say that the OP would have to be careful to avoid being sexually assaulted by his roommate. I guess 27 didn't indicate that the roommate would drug his drinks (with the obvious implication of sexual assault on his unconscious body). My bad. Guess I misread all 3. Point the second: I never said I was funny, I said I have a sense of humor. You had accused me of not having one, I replied that my other comments prove otherwise. You now claim your original point was that I "wasn't funny". Changing your argument much? My entire point has been that it is ABHORRENT that people think rape is OK if it's male on male (or female on male, for that matter). It isn't, and it's not funny to joke about.

TheWildRover 3

No dude, you just read WAY too much into those jokes.

179 - So you honestly believe that none of those 3 jokes implies non-consensual sexual activity?

Stop commenting on mine! Get your own comment!

@Kanitukeebob At first I took you seriously and respected your comments (albeit they were a bit ignorant), but now you're just coming off as a troll. You're just looking for every excuse to fight with someone, and therefore wrecking everyone's time on FML. Didn't your parents ever tell you "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all?". And no one related the OP's roommate's behavior to that of a gay man or a bisexual man, you did. So, by trying to find homophobic slurs in people's comments, you yourself made a couple in yours.

Cokie: I am not trolling. Everything I have said is my honestly held belief. The jokes were offensive to me. They represent an attitude of casual acceptance of the mentioned stereotype and make light of the trauma suffered by rape victims. I also never implied homophobia upon anyone in the FML, just the commenters who were making jokes that assumed 'rejected gay/bi man' = 'rapist'. And the statements WildRover made, those were just trolling. I shouldn't have fed it, I suppose.

hawaiianfire 0

Kaintukeebob what's your address? I'd like to pay you a visit ;)

gusgus36 5

Well, that will be a fun 11 months...

I think we disagree on the meaning of "fun" o.o

She was OBVIOUSLY being sarcastic. Why so serious?

SoccerRebel594 0

Why so oblivious 11? They clearly made that comment for humorous no avail of course. U MAD BRO?

X_Codes 11

What's the shortest distance between two trolls? A straight man.

yourlifesfucked 0

LOL 2 when i saw your profile pi i thought your dog was a polar bear with a tongue piercing.

Why so stuck up bitch:p just cause your having a bad day doesnt mean you have to try and ruin others

SoccerRebel594 0

Amrel, you might want to specify who that was for. I'm assuming me, but I could be wrong.

cldean24 4

I like when people call someone out for not understanding sarcasm when said person was also being sarcastic. That makes you look smart. Seriously, I need a tutor in sarcasm 101, please help.

bigfoot89 4

#76 u seem like you would be the biggest loser in real life.

it's only 11 months... or you rather have no dignity?

SoccerRebel594 0

What does getting roofied and analy raped have to do with dignity?

SoccerRebel594 0

3 thumbs up and I got modded? Well this makes me wanna cry :'( It was a creative and humorous comment.

Zeek63 0

Do it and then in the end say no **** and you are good to live the rest of your life

Just hire a stripper and problem's solved

I think it's agreeing on the gender of the stripper that may be the sticking-point.

Why didn't you make sure your roommate wasn't creepy before?

mynameis1339 0

You never find a persons true colors unless you live with them at least 3 months

fthislyfe 22

wow! today's my birthday too! Don't be so mean! give him a naked dance it's his birthday COME ON!

Happy Birthday! Your profile hasn't caught up with your birthday yet.

SoccerRebel594 0

And drink enough cheap wine till you pass out and get sodomized by your roomate!!!, that would fly :P lol. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

SoccerRebel594 0

I got modded for that comment? WTH

fthislyfe 22

thanks! actually my birthday's tomorrow but still...

ill naked dance for u and u dont even have to pay me!

Too bad you can't post video responses.