Today, my boss fired me because he found out I'm dating his daughter.... - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Lightning Bolt

By LightningRod - 18/10/2021 11:00

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 0

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 122

31/08/2019 16:01

Today, my boss fired me because he found out I'm dating his daughter. Now I'm concerned what he might do if he finds out she's pregnant with my child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 713

Mother of the year

Yada yada yada

Anyone there?

17/07/2012 20:19

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 653

You deserved it 2 207

11/07/2014 11:03

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 059

You deserved it 7 666

17/04/2013 16:13

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 331

You deserved it 8 749

07/05/2015 18:00

Spicy

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 865

You deserved it 6 759

07/04/2012 07:04

Spicy

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 490

You deserved it 5 984

13/09/2010 22:24

Today, I was telling my friend about how my boyfriend never does anything nice for me. Confused, she replied, "That's odd, he's always doing nice things for me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 120

You deserved it 4 365

Workers of the world unite

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 19:01

Today, the day before I was supposed to go back to work after I got sick, ended up in the hospital, and primary doctor put me on medical leave, I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 61

23/02/2016 05:33

Today, my wife of 10 years bought me a bottle of wine, a wine rack and wine accessory kit for my birthday. She knows I don't like wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 764

You deserved it 1 790

16/09/2018 06:00

Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 753

You deserved it 323

29/03/2016 22:50

Today, while riding my bike in the rain to a counselling appointment about my depression, my shoelace came untied and got caught around my pedal, causing me to go flying off my bike directly in a huge muddy puddle right in front of a busy street of people. No one offered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 043

You deserved it 1 679

23/12/2013 08:24

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 751

You deserved it 3 605

21/12/2016 12:26

Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 1 319

28/06/2009 04:51

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 936

You deserved it 4 517

18/11/2014 17:45

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 555

You deserved it 3 300

04/09/2012 04:24

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 581

You deserved it 58 717

17/08/2014 16:40

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 437

You deserved it 6 714

02/01/2012 09:44

Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 945

You deserved it 2 837

20/06/2016 23:13

Today, I finally found someone who liked me and wanted to kiss me. It was a 5-year-old at the daycare I work at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 591

You deserved it 1 022

23/02/2013 01:47

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 722

You deserved it 52 456

23/08/2009 05:10

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 494

You deserved it 3 853

07/12/2009 08:54

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 997

You deserved it 3 346

21/06/2012 04:11

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 171

You deserved it 75 225

04/09/2017 23:15

Today, once again, my boss posted a selfie with a Snapchat filter on the company's Facebook page. She doesn't see how it's unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 242

25/04/2016 03:49

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 181

You deserved it 8 225

27/06/2012 23:28

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 43 411

08/07/2011 18:48

Spicy

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 632

You deserved it 22 339

20/04/2010 16:46

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant with a few other couples, and my boyfriend started to rant on how "all the hot chicks are dumb." Apparently, I'm either ugly or stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 220

You deserved it 5 212

17/08/2017 17:15

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. She warned me they were a little weird. Right when we walked in the door, her parents were there to greet us...in the nude. Apparently this constitutes as a LITTLE weird. They both hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 065

You deserved it 311

20/07/2009 23:31

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 989

You deserved it 6 607

18/02/2011 21:07

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 199

You deserved it 5 674

22/05/2015 07:36

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 126

You deserved it 21 656

Stop the steal

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 16:01

Today, my son admitted to maxing out my credit card, gambling on a some scam website that a dumbass streamer was promoting. He's only 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 333

29/12/2015 09:49

Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 685

You deserved it 1 837

02/11/2014 21:28

Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 168

You deserved it 2 520

13/03/2016 19:53

Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 892

You deserved it 2 392

22/06/2009 00:37

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 515

You deserved it 3 797

03/06/2017 22:00

Today, I'm stuck at the airport overnight, because my phone didn't update its time zone after flying in, so I watched my train leave, thinking mine wasn't due for another hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 448

You deserved it 1 855

30/03/2014 20:36

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 507

You deserved it 19 885

12/12/2018 08:00

Today at work I had recieved a lot of phone calls. I thought maybe it was a scammer line because I never recieve calls. Turns out my phone number was a character's same number in a TV Show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 586

You deserved it 159

26/11/2013 05:21

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 958

You deserved it 4 907

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Top comments

TCRII 29

Saturday 31 August 2019 17:37

He’ll hire you back, pay you less, make you work more and treat you like the guy who got his daughter pregnant.

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Saturday 31 August 2019 17:12

My guess is re-hire you now that you'll be his son-in-law. Of course, you're going to marry the girl and be a good father for your baby, right? Choose a nice day for a White Wedding. It'll be a nice day to...start again!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Saturday 31 August 2019 17:12

My guess is re-hire you now that you'll be his son-in-law. Of course, you're going to marry the girl and be a good father for your baby, right? Choose a nice day for a White Wedding. It'll be a nice day to...start again!

TCRII 29

Saturday 31 August 2019 17:37

He’ll hire you back, pay you less, make you work more and treat you like the guy who got his daughter pregnant.

jbuckets_404 38

Send a private message

Saturday 31 August 2019 17:55

Um, fire you, again???

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Saturday 31 August 2019 18:15

The good news is he can't fire you again.

zoelog 10

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Saturday 31 August 2019 19:28

well he's not your boss anymore so not much he can do.

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Saturday 31 August 2019 23:03

Bad idea sleeping with your bosses daughter. Dating a coworker doesn't normally go well dating your bosses daughter is insane getting her pregnant is suicidal

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Saturday 31 August 2019 23:36

Unless you didn’t know your girlfriend was your boss’s daughter, you didn’t think through the possible consequences. At the same time, you don’t control who you fall in love with. Good luck with this

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Sunday 1 September 2019 5:24

You can to an extent if it costs you your lively hood or will put you in a dangerous situation you have to have sense not to do it. I can't help it is a cop out for having responsibility. Who you like is directly related to who/ and how much time you spend time with them.

smartjaguargurl 17

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Tuesday 3 September 2019 5:36

I think it’s more you can’t help who you catch feelings for but you can control whether or not you act on those feelings.

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Sunday 1 September 2019 2:26

Hopefully give you your job back and a promotion so you can provide for his grandchild.

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Sunday 1 September 2019 3:32

He's gonna kill you. Just take that as YDI. You can't get any more fired, but you can die. RIP OP.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

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Sunday 1 September 2019 14:24

heres a thought...fuck him doesn't matter what he says about it