Today, my recent ex-boyfriend stopped by my house with a well-dressed man. He reached into his pocket and handed me records that "prove" he never cheated on me. Oh, and the man next to him? His lawyer, who gave me a summons to court over payment for the items I smashed when I dumped him. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML
Today, I found out my ex bought a digital camera, an iPod, and a large flat-screen TV, all purchased with the alimony I'm paying him. FML
Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML
Today, my boyfriend came home with three of his best friends and broke up with me in front of them. Then, when I asked if we could talk privately, he filmed it for "documentation." FML
Today, I gathered all the evidence I needed to prove that my fiancé has been cheating on me. When I showed it to him, he looked at it, then looked me right in the eye and said, “So you did all this just to learn their names, cry, and stay with me anyway?” Sadly, he’s right. FML
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Top comments
bobsanction 18
That's what you get for breaking shit.
Glowworm56 26
I don't know why, but I love how the ex boyfriend brought the lawyer with him to the OP's house.
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Comments (58)
zeroramiro2 4
That's why you never retaliate against anyone. Good for him to take action to get his compensation for the damages.
bobsanction 18
That's what you get for breaking shit.
Glowworm56 26
I don't know why, but I love how the ex boyfriend brought the lawyer with him to the OP's house.
raz0rf0x 8
if she's crazy enough to break stuff then I'd being a lawyer, too. And maybe a cop
hunterseal 18
well if you went off so psycho maybe he dodged a bullet,good thing it was his stuff and not his life. Well ydi,pay up and get some anger management classes.
ThatHorse 15
I mean, if he actually went to a ******* lawyer and served you personally, then he's probably not lying about having never cheated. That's an awfully expensive path to take if he had.
crazyindynathan 13
That's what she gets for digging her key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, among other damages.
talaswolf 20
Do you think she carved her name into his leather seats after taking a Louisville slugger to both headlights?
Goblin182 26
Even if he had cheated she had no right to destroy his property.
WeirdUS 29
Cheating is an asshole move but not illegal breaking someones shit is. You deserved it for breaking his stuff. If that's what you do I'm wondering how you handled disagreements in the relationship.
Druu 53
Ah, finally an FML from the point of view of the "psycho ex-girlfriend." Refreshing!
species4872 19
How can a comment with 30 likes 2 dislike be moderated?
anaheimangels40 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You get what you deserve asshole...
species4872 19
Still going!
Arashikage 18
I seriously hope you're not looking for sympathy you 100% deserve what's coming
KittyMack 13
What I wanna know is: What records can prove faithfulness? His cel or internet history might show no messages if he banged someone from his work, or someone he picked up in a bar.
Pixiewolfe 46
Maybe a tight schedule with alibis from work/gym etc..?