Who? Where? Why? What?

Then make up a crazy story. Tell them what they want to hear.

Yes #1 great idea because OP isn't already grounded if she/he does that then OP will be grounded even longer what a genius Idea.

Tell them that you solemly swear you are up to no good.

Mischief managed!

Good luck getting out of that punishment by telling the truth.

I have sort of the same issue with mine, but I suppose I don't blame for certain reasons. They think something is wrong with me because I'm an introvert and I don't like talking much, or show emotions really haha. My mom thinks I'm weird because I don't like to spend hours outside shopping like "everyone" as she puts it. I just tell her she's crazy.

Tell them the truth, explain that they're crazy! And bring a riot shield, just in case.

just can't win with parents can ya

Big Willy Styles said it best.

Invite them everywhere you go, then! Especially your bed! :D

Incest is not the solution.

I've been doing it wrong then.

Why walk down the street, when you can walk down the hall?

43, is that a reference to something. If it is, you improperly used it. If it isn't, then it is completely irrelevant to this FML.

Since they keep accusing you , might as well do it , cant blame the parents tho , just looking out for you making sure you make it ok in life

Actually you can blame them. For being paranoid and not trusting their child for no good reason. Her parents probably did some questionable things when they were young so they think OP is too. It's not fair

Thats exactly why they are paranoid because they were most likely shit disturbers and doesnt want the kid to end up the same way , even tho blaming the kid when she/he is doing Nothing wrong because its makes him/her doubt their selfs into thinking being good isnt even worth it

Oh god, I hope his parents weren't laxatives.

So your parents have no proof no evidence not even a rumour that you're up to something yet you're grounded because they for some reason believe you must be hiding something.... Ya might want to put your self up for adoption or contact childline or something, an asylum might do the trick

I doubt they have nothing to go on. They've probably heard a rumour from a sibling or most likely are basing it off how OP is reacting. Maybe OP is being more silent and withdrawn then usual. I'm not excusing their behaviour of course, I just highly doubt they are basing it all off nothing for no reason.

It's sarcasm, why would you ever put your parents in an insane asylum

Wow, totally missed that one! So embarrassing. :)

Plant suspicious stuff in your room like night vision goggles and laser pens, you're grounded anyway, might as well have a little fun with it

Pissing off parents that would punish you for their own assumptions may not be such a good idea. You may also 'validate' their assumptions in their eyes prompting them to make more.

Also get some dog bones, toy cars, a bunch of toothbrushes, and toilet paper in a shoebox.

Well you are clearly hiding something

well...if all you do is go to school, eat, sleep, and go to work, not much of a change a pace?

maybe your parents are alienated.