Today, my new passport arrived, along with my expired one and its 20-year-old picture. I was comparing the photos when my husband came to look. He laughed and said, "Time is cruel." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I showed someone my 9-year old passport, she commented, “You look so different! Now you have that Jason Statham thing going on!” My hair goes down to my shoulders; this confirms that my receding hairline is real and it’s time to come to grips. At least I’m over 30. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing texted me a photo back of myself I had sent him earlier, saying I'm such a beautiful woman, suggesting that I set it as my profile pic. Too bad he doesn't think I'm pretty enough without a lot of enhancements, because he photoshopped the hell out of that thing. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's OK, though, she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Time to get him a PornHub account.
Glowworm56 27
"Wait until yours show up, Mr."
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Comments (8)
holly_fly 34
How did the expired one just show up? O.o
BeachMammal 8
When she applied for a new passport, she probably had to send in the expired one. When they mail the new one, they return the old one to you.
RichardPencil 32
Time to get him a PornHub account.
Glowworm56 27
"Wait until yours show up, Mr."
BeachMammal 8
It's your husband who is cruel. It takes a horrible person to be that mean to their spouse.
Kurliez408 32
oh that's a little steep! it was just a joke! some couples constantly make fun of each other and it works. besides, 20 years would clearly make a difference.
JuliaKay14 33
Passport photos have progressively been looking worse. My mom just got a new one and it looks horrible. Her face looks red and shiny, which it isn't in real life. Don't worry about it
blackbird8 10
Print out a picture of what he looked like 20 yrs ago and ask him to wear it during sex. Then smile and tell him "Time is cruel."