By Anonymous - 28/08/2014 04:34 - United States - Boston

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 713
You deserved it 5 912

Same thing different taste

Top comments

isabelf 17

your boyfriend sounds like he has some very odd fetishes...


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incoherentrmblr 21

Just start start talking like Jabba the Hutt, I think he'll understand then...

rachangie 19

Why not do bondage Leia style? What's wrong with that?

Because it will end in death, have you not seen Star Wars?

y I DoghQo'!!!! Translation - Don't be silly.

y IDogh Qo!!! Translation - Don't be silly.

shanebob 15

If you read the FML, it clearly says that she didn't...

isabelf 17

your boyfriend sounds like he has some very odd fetishes...

almightyteapot 8

Aren't all fetishes a bit on the stranger side? They all kind of vary between 'ehh, that's a bit weird, but oh well, what ever floats your little boat' and 'holy macaroni, there is definitely something wrong with you, let me just call an exorcist real quick'

isabelf 17

not all fetishes, such as fishnets or blonde hair fetishes, etc.

Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken. Know the limits, play within it.

Well Klingons are known for their rough sex. He must like being rough.

I say this on the moderation list and said yes, and now it got posted. Sweet.

Hey, I also get happy when I moderate FMLs and they get posted. I feel that I'm helping by doing a small part to keep this site great.(: Good for you #3 Way too many people like keeping others down when they say positive things.

41 and 43, I always love to see your comments! Love your positivity!

metalcrazed 21

Not really,the ones I vote yes on are hardly every posted even though they sound realistic and are relatable. I think that person is right to be happy.

Or... he could teach you some naughty Klingon :P

Learn from the guy in the movie Daddy Daycare.

Step 1: Learn Klingon Step 2: Talk to boyfriend Step 3: ?????? Step 4: Profit

"Profit" would be more of a Ferengi thing.

instructions unclear, leg stuck in garbage disposal

metalcrazed 21

Not really if he gets so upset over minor things it may be best for her to move on.

Didn't know you could get something that small stuck in a ceiling fan...

YDI, mIw vIlIj, 'ej wej tlhIngan vISov Translated: YDI, for not knowing Klingon

yeah because everyone knows klingon, that's something they should have talked about before they got intimate

LOOL, I'm not into Star Trek.. Bing translator also translates to Klingon.

MAYBE some people just want a normal relationship, not some bullshit language.

Guess you'll be learning Klingon instead of Spanish now

Michael2687 9