Health: Today, my mom tried to convince me to throw out my insulin shots... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/02/2016 19:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, my mom tried to convince me to throw out my insulin shots because she read a chain email that claimed they "cause cancer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 866

You deserved it 1 195

Taking stock

Assumptions

Never in the buff

By OhBoy - 05/08/2013 19:10 - United States - Lake Saint Louis

Today, I realized why my water bill has gone down so much. My 16 year old daughter now only feels it necessary to shower whenever her boyfriend is going to come over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 034

You deserved it 5 244

By Noname - 16/03/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 207

You deserved it 179 539

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 01:54 - Australia - Stafford

Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 410

You deserved it 1 457

By Dr.Anonymous - 22/03/2014 11:56 - India - Mumbai

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 269

You deserved it 3 756

By k - 09/06/2012 21:35 - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 512

You deserved it 64 364

Ouch

By Anonymous - 13/01/2013 12:41 - United States

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 356

You deserved it 5 177

Looking like a fool...

By Pantsontheground - 09/08/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

Today, my pants kept falling down. Since I didn't have a belt on, I decided to tuck the waistband around my underwear to keep them in place. While on a date, I tried to adjust my pants, but ended up pulling them down along with my boxers. In the middle of a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 2 925

By gemma - 11/09/2012 16:56 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Spicy

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 764

You deserved it 59 244

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 065

You deserved it 7 095

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 596

You deserved it 5 670

By FML - 02/10/2015 21:45 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 466

You deserved it 4 217

By sup - 01/07/2019 20:00 - Canada - Chicoutimi

Today, I found out why I've had cockroaches in my bathroom - my landlord didn't bother to finish the wall behind my bathroom sink. There are literally holes that go straight from my bathroom to the garage downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 29/01/2016 15:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got let go from my job, because my personal cell phone doesn't always have signal, so I missed an important call from work. My contract specifically said I'd get a work phone, which never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 212

You deserved it 1 557

Abandoned

By Anonymous - 30/07/2015 06:56 - Australia

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out, "Hello" had turned into a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 597

You deserved it 2 328

By Anonymous - 22/04/2016 20:14 - United States - Charleston

Spicy

Today, I guess my son's balls dropped. I've caught him humping his sister's Selena Gomez posters several times today. For god's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 603

You deserved it 1 894

Orwellian nightmare

By anonymous - 24/10/2014 13:47 - Austria - Vienna

Today, while reading "1984" on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 120

You deserved it 3 266

By Sara - 03/10/2012 03:33 - United States - Manassas

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 192

You deserved it 1 815

Mom knows shit

By Anonymous - 22/07/2020 17:01

Today, my mother-in-law decided my husband has COVID-19, read some debunked articles about how ibuprofen makes the symptoms worse, and scolded me for giving him ibuprofen for his muscle pain. I'm an actual medical doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 107

By jameen - 25/08/2013 12:50 - United Kingdom - Tadley

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 635

You deserved it 46 277

By fiery - 24/07/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 945

You deserved it 4 572

Big Baby

By Anonymous - 12/04/2021 00:30

Today, I flushed the toilet while my boyfriend was showering. He responded by throwing a huge fit, saying how if he “gets a cold” from being “forced” to shower in cold water, I’m gonna “have to stay home and take care of him until he’s better.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 260

By Single - 04/12/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 983

You deserved it 2 936

By Not-so-good-gymnast - 27/09/2009 08:35 - Australia

Today, I removed the safety padding from around the trampoline because it seemed useless. This afternoon, I did a backflip, got my hair stuck in the springs, ripped out a chunk of my hair, and face planted it into the brick pavers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 722

You deserved it 79 931

First time

By februarymarchapril - 04/02/2015 03:45 - United States - Austin

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 637

You deserved it 42 770

By graciegold95 - 06/12/2014 16:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter decided it'd be funny to change the time on my clock. My boss didn't think it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 830

You deserved it 2 926

By Ugh - 22/08/2017 23:15

Today, I got a job offer and was asked to come in at 5am for training. I sat there for about 2 hours before giving up. I was at the wrong site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 2 834

These boots are made for walking

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 05:01

Spicy

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 295

Hard shoulder

By me. - 11/07/2016 03:00 - United States - Norman

Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 667

You deserved it 724

By Person - 11/11/2016 02:04

Today, my cousin invited me to an event that would be on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me, was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 399

You deserved it 2 206

By goodstudent - 20/06/2009 23:20 - United States

Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm. Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, and she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, and traveled hours back to school. I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 730

You deserved it 2 512

By Sarcasmo - 12/07/2016 20:04 - United States - Madison

Today, I'm so broke that I had to get a refund for my unopened hummus, just so I'd be able to afford the bus fare to get to work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 794

You deserved it 1 276

The fertility dance worked

By UnexpectedMom - 31/12/2020 02:01

Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 317

By suckstobeme - 24/03/2010 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 186

You deserved it 4 650

By Anonymous - 08/04/2015 10:52 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 817

You deserved it 18 824

By howprofessional - 06/09/2013 21:23 - United States - Dearborn

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 872

You deserved it 47 094

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 05:49 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I felt so lonely that I asked Siri to read me Wikipedia articles so that I could pretend I was having a conversation with a real human being. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 372

You deserved it 3 298

By Forever alone Guy - 19/02/2013 23:07 - Australia - Narre Warren

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 071

You deserved it 3 813

By Ava777 - 20/02/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 729

You deserved it 59 495

By Rusty - 12/12/2015 00:49 - United States

Today, I did slightly below average on my programming project. Aside from it being unnecessarily difficult, I also couldn't focus on it due to problems at home. After I confided in my colleague about it, I heard him mutter, "I knew women are crappy programmers". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 2 743

By WhoDoYouLove6208 - 11/10/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 753

You deserved it 2 531

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Top comments

NotCollegeBound 17

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:29

"Well, Mom, not taking insulin causes death."

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:31

Does she also believe vaccines cause autism?

Comments

NotCollegeBound 17

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:29

"Well, Mom, not taking insulin causes death."

Brandi_Faith 33

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Saturday 20 February 2016 19:31

Tell your mom you won't have to worry about cancer when you get Diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA) go into a coma and die. My brother didn't take his insulin for awhile (he was never properly educated on his diabetes unfortunately) and had DKA and almost died. DKA is some serious stuff and messing with your insulin is no joke. If I were you I'd print some research on what happens if you don't take your insulin, on DKA and coma's and stuff and try and educate her on all of it. Yes, there's a possibility she's just stupid and won't understand or believe you if you explain it, but chances are she's just uneducated in diabetes and the severity of it (as many are).

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Sunday 21 February 2016 17:20

My last hyperglycemia that I was hospitalized for having SEVERE dka gives my the experience to back this up. My bgl was over 62 mmol/l, or about 1100 mgdl... It would most definately be an unpleasant exit strategy...

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:30

If I were you I would defiantly hide them from her.

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Saturday 20 February 2016 9:40

I think this is actually a good point. If OP's mother is that gullible, I think it's reasonable to think she may throw them away herself when OP isn't around......clearly that could make OP very unwell. But I would definitely do it!

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Saturday 20 February 2016 11:28

I don't really get why this comment is getting downvoted. It makes sense. Either way FYL OP.

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Saturday 20 February 2016 11:41

Defiantly *and* definitely, I suppose.

Earl_KarmasBitch 29

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Saturday 20 February 2016 14:13

Both of them are reasonable in that sentence though.

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:31

Does she also believe vaccines cause autism?

Gingerwithasoul 6

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Saturday 20 February 2016 16:19

I wouldn't be surprised if she did

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Saturday 20 February 2016 17:20

100% of people with Cancer also breathe. Breathing causes Cancer!!!

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Saturday 20 February 2016 23:42

Remember, dihydrogen monoxide is deadly if inhaled for an extended period of time!

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Sunday 21 February 2016 1:44

Well, you're not wrong, breathing in water would kill you..

obliviongillette 18

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:37

Well she's not the sharpest syringe in the box.

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:37

But you know, they also prevent death

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:42

perhaps have the doctor explain that they do not cause cancer?

Earl_KarmasBitch 29

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:47

But why would she believe a trained medical professional over some random article emailed to her?

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Saturday 20 February 2016 10:53

Listen to big pharma? What a ludicrous idea. They just want to keep you sick.

sabby7 17

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Saturday 20 February 2016 8:43

wow

hardcorepunk87 18

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Saturday 20 February 2016 9:33

You should warn her about the prince that promises wealth

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Saturday 20 February 2016 9:42

I'm happy she's not a doctor xD

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Saturday 20 February 2016 10:27

And of course, everything you read online is 100% accurate...

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 76

Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 143