By blob - 21/02/2013 00:32 - United States - Framingham

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 899
You deserved it 2 736

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Sounds like your Mum needs some common sense and intellect!

How about you tell your mum you need this class to graduate?

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Sounds like your Mum needs some common sense and intellect!

Took the words right out of my mouth!

oh it must have been when you were kissin me

OP could forge her/his mothers signature. For this sort of thing I think it's understandable. Lol

no one a Meatloaf fan?? okay.

I didn't know Meatloaf still had fans.

How about you tell your mum you need this class to graduate?

Or OP can tell her that CPR stands for common sense and intellect. If it works then OP's mom would be the one needing common sense and intellect.

24/: Common Psense and Rintellect seemslegit.jpg

24; that's the funniest thing I've read in years! Definitely worth playing the odds that that OPs mum wouldn't notice

54 - Clearly you don't read many funny things.

37, it was obviously a joke saying that the mom is lacking common sense and intellect. If you took a CPR class, you would have realized this.

I sure hope this "common sense and intellect" approach of hers doesnt come biting.her.in the ass if she starts choking.

I thought the heimlich was for choking, and that CPR was for breathing and heart attacks.

Ok, time for another quick class. If the person is choking, get behind them and ball up one fist. Then place is just below the center of their ribs, and grasp your fist with your other hand. Pull your hand inward and upward in a powerful motion. Repeat if needed. If success is not made in the first 3 attempts, tell someone else around you to call 911. Check for a pulse. If they have no pulse, you will need to pump their heart for them until help arrives. If that person passes out, make sure 911 has been called. Check to see if you can sweep their mouth and clear their throat. If nothing can be seen or felt, begin chest compressions to the beat of "Anotherone bites the dust". Sounds morbid, but its the right pace. The chest compressions are more important then the help breathing. The pumping action will also most likely break some of their ribs, so it is not to be done unless they are not going to make it anyway. But is better for them to be alive and suffer a few broken ribs, then be dead. I am sure I left something out so please comment, but this is what I remember and hopefully it will save someone that cant go to class.

as useful as that was 49, i dont think saying 'i know what to do cos i saw it on FML' would really work when OP needs the class to graduate

@49, good advice but just a couple of points - Check they actually are choking before you start abdominal thrusts - otherwise you end up as an FML on here! And check if they're breathing if they're unconcious, never do CPR on someone who is breathing.

77 Thanks. Its hard to make sure I hit all the points. Its been a few years since i was in class. I do agree, it is best to ensure they are breathing. As a disclaimer, you can always call 911 and the person on the other line will walk you through it. They deal with it everyday and you most likely will be too freaked out to femember everything anyway.

Make sure you have a conscious persons permission first as well, or you can be sued. As well, Heimlich can be performed on a pregnant woman, or a very large person, by thrusting against the chest plate, one arm over a shoulder, the other under, grasping hands on the breast plate.

I had to do CPR on my girlfriend once, its freaky knowing you're the only thing between the person and the grave.

@5 Wow, that must have been terrifying! To not know if you could save her or if she'd back to life or not. What happened, based on the wording I'm assuming she's alive. I'm a bit of writer so I've imagined my characters going through these types of situations but I've never experienced anything like this and I hope I never will.

The irony of this is overwhelming.

I don't sense any irony. Am I missing something?

Oh, I got it now. Fail.

If your mother had any common sense or intellect, she'd understand that you need the class to graduate.

Regardless if OP needed the class to graduate or not, CPR is a good skill to have. Cause you never know.

And you can't sign up for a CPR class yourself because...?

I know right? Plus if you need it to graduate, you shouldn't need a parent's signature.

I'm going to assume that OP is below 18 and needs parental consent

The likelihood of op being under 18 and graduating with a degree is pretty damn low...

It could be to graduate from high school. I hate to take a first aid and safety class my senior year. You had to take it at a local fire department or the Red Cross so you needed a parent to sign you up. Or at least I did because I was only 17.

45- Why would you need consent to take a REQUIRED COURSE?

op can sign up but mom needs to pay for it. There are free classes but not free certificates and is what op needs.

82- I'd love to know what high school you go/went to. No one should be paying for any classes. Maybe a card fee to be certified, but never for the whole class. A required course, especially. That is ridiculous.

Your mom is talking shit. People dont just instantly learn how to do CPR, you need to be professionally trained to administer it. Being a Surf Life Saver, I would know.

Actually if you take a class, you instantly learn it AND are professionally trained. You don't have to be in a certain field to do CPR. Anyone off the street and take a class, learn it, and administer it if needed.

Moms. Always want you to succeed, but always manage to slow down the process

What a retard sorry but everyone should learn it just cos its a good thing to learn

Holy run-on sentence, Batman! Retard is a fitting word for those that insult others, yet have no concept of punctuation, spelling, or grammar. Have fun being intellectually superior to about 6% of the population, babe.