Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
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By
X_o_X_ocutie
| 0
u were talking to your dick, Why?
By
MrNiceGuy518
| 3
-insert clever penis joke here-
COMMENTS
By
X_o_X_ocutie
| 0
u were talking to your dick, Why?
Reply
UnanomousGurl
| 0
He was cheering it on to grow
Reply
WinMan
| 7
he said he wanted a deep tissue massage
Reply
insanesna1l
| 0
he was discussing the theory of evolution and how he drew the short straw.
the penis was asking for a hand to move
penis is afraid of dark wet places after some traumatizing experiences during puberty
the penis was asking for a hand to move
penis is afraid of dark wet places after some traumatizing experiences during puberty
Reply
valalvax
| 13
he was repeating "Must, must, increase my bust"
I'm sure I quoted it wrong but gimme a break I read it like 12 years ago
I'm sure I quoted it wrong but gimme a break I read it like 12 years ago
Reply
ilovecheeer
| 0
(:
Reply
aussie_gemini
| 5
the penis was telling him off for sticking him in weird places when he drinks... he was only responding when his mum walked in!
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banannabel
| 0
Judy Blume? "I must I must increase my bust!"
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DaveOnDope
| 4
Do you have names for them? My SO's tits are named, "Honk honk" and "Beep beep".
Reply
NickK49
| 0
Why do you still talk to your imaginary friend (your dick does not exist).
Reply
mkbella123
| 14
win.xD
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lol523
| 0
hahaha 24 win xD
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MissBunny25
| 0
I'm pretty sure this is how the conversation went down.
penis:"what the fuck , you are such a freak.. the stuff you do with me is crazy"
OP:"no it's not.."
penis:"yes it is! remember that time when you were with that girl at the macaroni convention?"
OP:"no we need a second opinion"
penis:"I'll use my penis power and call your mom in here"
OP:"nooo!"
penis:"why not? she and I are good friends *wink*"
mom:"honey, your penis called me. what's up? "
penis:"what the fuck , you are such a freak.. the stuff you do with me is crazy"
OP:"no it's not.."
penis:"yes it is! remember that time when you were with that girl at the macaroni convention?"
OP:"no we need a second opinion"
penis:"I'll use my penis power and call your mom in here"
OP:"nooo!"
penis:"why not? she and I are good friends *wink*"
mom:"honey, your penis called me. what's up? "
Reply
froob
| 0
I tho he deserved it until I read that V
Reply
CaptainPickles72
| 18
@#113 That is the most idiotic thing I have read.......but I love it.
Reply
valalvax
| 13
64: Yes! are you there God? it's me, Margaret
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V1PeR
| 4
what's up? obviously his dick
Reply
jrsgreenfire257
| 0
Ok 121... CaptionPickle Lmfao
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tulsafml
| 0
OP needs to get some friends real fast.
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johnwroo22
| 0
;) oh yea!!!
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sageCFC
| 0
was ur girlfreind there to was her name righty :)
Reply
dagrathe
| 0
he was practicing small talk.
Reply
b3cc3rs97
| 1
that's hot
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fl0ffy
| 0
I think he was asking it when it will get bigger it said never
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MissBunny25
| 0
170 hahaha thank you bestie :D
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AmericanPiro
| 0
Can't you see? He's a penis whisperer.
Reply
sexylemon231
| 0
What's down? Obviously his head.
Reply
sexylemon231
| 0
I meant to add in #134 :/
Reply
sexylemon231
| 0
OMG!!! I MEAN #146!!!!! MAN I'M STUPID!!!!!!
Reply
natalieb534
| 0
Probably because he has no life
Reply
kimchininja999
| 0
113 lmao xD I loved that joke
Reply
mmsdrummer51
| 3
the coversation went like this .... dear penis i dont think i like you anymore you used to watch me shave now all you do is stare at the floor dear penis i dont like you anymore
Reply
BoldfaceMatteo
| 0
did it all back to you
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FailBear920
| 19
Did he talk back?
Reply
POPO28_fml
| 0
fuckig hella awesome pic nigguh.
Reply
EmoGiana
| 0
I suppose he was saying "Who's a good boy???"
Reply
mboehm88
| 3
113 made me actually laugh at loud. Hilarious :)
Reply
bigmarkie2
| 3
189, Nah, it's probably named Palmela Handerson.
and 268, Rodney Carrington is it? That song is hilarious :)
and 268, Rodney Carrington is it? That song is hilarious :)
Reply
erongetti
| 2
Hahahaha! nice.
Reply
nbk1405
| 0
lol @ 59... just a smile? :) haha lucky u feeeking pretty! ;)
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aussie_gemini
| 5
268 I already said that earlier in this post :p
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thedisturbedone5
| 0
you must have nice tits then ;)
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thedisturbedone5
| 0
lol
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3rinNicole559
| 2
hahaha, that's a weird song!!.(:
Reply
lymecheer
| 0
:)
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agigantorllama
| 0
:) Sweetttt..
Reply
tadams1
| 1
thats hot
Reply
JodeMiVida
| 13
It's probably breast not to have someone watching though :)
Reply
Clozzie
| 0
COOLIO DUUUUDDEE JUST DONT SPEAK IN PUBLIC!
Reply
SookyTurner
| 4
Lol good call!
Reply
Brandonisamazing
| 5
Someone's lonely...
By
MrNiceGuy518
| 3
-insert clever penis joke here-
Reply
bluebell707
| 13
lollll
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MrNiceGuy, your picture is hilarious XD
Reply
persianjr1
| 7
he thought it was a genie. just keep rubbing till he talks back!!
Reply
mkbella123
| 14
i've got a joke about my vagina but you'll never get it.
Reply
sportyfreaK15
| 0
I've got a joke about my vajj oh nevermind you'll never get it :)
Reply
sophiagrace26
| 0
three times actually.
Reply
paragor34
| 0
well played #65 Well played
Reply
millionaire93
| 0
#65....win hahahaha
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Sassybq1
| 13
^WIN
Reply
MrNiceGuy518
| 3
I'm sorry, do I know you 166?
Reply
sandyyBabi
| 0
hahaha
Reply
hockey668717
| 0
lmao braaa that's from Facebook
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agigantorllama
| 0
That's a good joke!
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margie2194
| 12
haha you're funny :D
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Hockey_fan
| 0
-laughs at clever joke and enters an equally but slightly less funny comment here-
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Fireashes250
| 16
"Hey there little guy! Don't be so down..." Is what he said.
By
freebird2012
| 0
first
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X_o_X_ocutie
| 0
I was
Reply
AlecIsTheMan
| 0
dumbass
Reply
MrNiceGuy518
| 3
You weren't even SΣСОИD!
Reply
seanders
| 10
MrNiceGuy you usually are just saying "insert penis here" nice to see a change.
Reply
bodnarfresh
| 0
65, I got a joke about my pussy but you won't get it.
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gamerhead
| 3
It's been said...... ^
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bman134
| 0
twice
Reply
Haylzzzmuzzicc
| 1
funny days!????
By
boredguy7
| 0
haha I'm sorry dude but you totally deserved it, of all the things to talk to why your penis?
Reply
JonaDona
| 2
Hey, penis have feelings too... maybe his penis was feeling down and he was trying to cheer it up...
Reply
TigersLoveCinnam
| 0
lol #26, winner of a comment
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
Everybody talks to their penis. It's the ones that listen that are crazy.
Reply
rscanlan313
| 0
no all guys listen 2 there penis ins the once that talk to it that are crazy
Reply
noncomposmentis
| 6
The real question is, why talk to his penis without first making sure that there is no way anyone else (especially his own parent) would behold such a disturbing sight?
Reply
kitty_kat1109
| 0
#26, you made my day. :P
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shortstuff4485
| 0
#26 best comment ever! lol
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superflyman
| 0
26 awesom comment
By
rainbowpikachus
| 0
wow Op, that's not weird at all...
Reply
Tinman70
| 0
it's only weird if it answers...
Reply
Dennisse_47
| 17
hahaha, damn you stole my comment.
Reply
KeefB
| 0
It is only weird if he drew a face on it.
Reply
hobojo11
| 0
i have a tatoo of a face on my pelvise so se has copiny. wile sucking
By
hedgerow
| 0
I have never spoken to my penis. You sir, are bonkers!
Reply
X_o_X_ocutie
| 0
I have never said bonkers
You sir are retarded!
You sir are retarded!
Reply
ImKindaABigDeal
| 6
I've never spoken to your penis either! We have something in common!
Reply
clojo1112
| 0
that was clever 116
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inahaz
| 0
It's no big deal to talk to it... when it starts talking back, that's when you have a problem.
Reply
vengeance501
| 8
"bonkers" made made lol. :D
havent heard that in awhile.
havent heard that in awhile.
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kailauli
| 0
haha, awesome response. made me laugh.
By
ReaPete
| 0
So, did she join in the conversation?
Reply
T3P33_fml
| 0
no but he stood up to hear better
Reply
Sounds like a porno... >:D
By
Doortje
| 29
You must be really lonely. So, what were you talking about? Were you ordering him to get up?
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scemmarose
| 0
hahahahaha
By
smileeee_fml
| 0
wth ... youre not normal.
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SilenceIsSilver
| 0
Lies. That happens to me every weekend.
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alex1432
| 9
you talk to your penis on weekends?
By
brianjman14
| 22
...........why?
Reply
sterlingarcher
| 1
I wuz thinking the same thing..lol
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sportyfreaK15
| 0
Ikr ?!