By Anonymous - United States - Panama City Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 27425 You deserved it 1816 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jessica - United States Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 34866 You deserved it 47370 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By boohoo - Ireland Today, I was fired from my catering job for pointing out the unsafe food conditions. I'm studying food safety in college. FML I agree, your life sucks 39651 You deserved it 6102 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dickface - United States - Lewisburg Today, the cut on my face from getting hit with a baseball healed. It's left a dick-shaped scar. FML I agree, your life sucks 21192 You deserved it 1546 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SeaBind - United States - Saginaw Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31742 You deserved it 3238 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By comfort_ - United States - Dalton Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 25475 You deserved it 10110 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Knaxer - United States - Silver Spring Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 19872 You deserved it 6530 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JohnB - United States Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML I agree, your life sucks 26732 You deserved it 4191 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Courtney - United States Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML I agree, your life sucks 22269 You deserved it 6031 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By youlyingjerk - United States Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML I agree, your life sucks 28467 You deserved it 3467 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML I agree, your life sucks 39105 You deserved it 7813 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jesushelpme - United States - Nixa Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML I agree, your life sucks 32040 You deserved it 5562 281 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pam - France Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 23115 You deserved it 7912 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rarara - United Kingdom - Manchester Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML I agree, your life sucks 32077 You deserved it 3036 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokeandiknowit - United States - Chula Vista Today, I installed an app that notifies me of every purchase on my credit card. Now I'm being tormented by notification after notification as my wife decimates our finances. FML I agree, your life sucks 4399 You deserved it 930 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - France Today, my 10-year-old brother won the poem contest at his school. Since then he won’t stop bugging me with them. FML I agree, your life sucks 26514 You deserved it 8256 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I was sitting waiting for my train for a long while. When it finally came, I had pins and needles in my foot. When I got up, I fell and unsuccessfully stumbled towards the train. The doors closed and it left without me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31698 You deserved it 4580 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By all5fingers - Canada Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML I agree, your life sucks 28524 You deserved it 3226 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Real Life Sucks - United States Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML I agree, your life sucks 34103 You deserved it 3117 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Daniella - 12/11/2020 11:03 - Indonesia - Jakarta Online classes can be tricky Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML I agree, your life sucks 315 You deserved it 1013 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada - North Vancouver Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 53068 You deserved it 8446 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out that the electricity company can just show up unannounced and cut off my power, but cannot find the meter for a whole 10 days to switch it on again. It's currently dark and 7°C in my bedroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 4924 You deserved it 454 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Monson Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML I agree, your life sucks 35823 You deserved it 4037 279 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ican'tgotoschoolapparently - United States - Vancouver Today, I found out after $200 worth of checks and tests, three rugs being ruined from her peeing and pooping on them, that my cat isn't sick. She just has really bad separation anxiety. FML I agree, your life sucks 10295 You deserved it 1155 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - South Africa Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 40213 You deserved it 4296 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By so jealous - 27/4/2020 05:00 Goodbye phone Today, I was FaceTiming a good friend of mine from back home, telling her how good she looked and how happy I was to hear from her. My insanely jealous girlfriend snatched my phone and smashed it on the ground. I was saying my friend looked good because she'd just finished chemo. FML I agree, your life sucks 3098 You deserved it 375 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By good_job_john - United States Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML I agree, your life sucks 80290 You deserved it 4274 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By some band player - United States - Highland Park Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML I agree, your life sucks 43200 You deserved it 4592 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML I agree, your life sucks 36160 You deserved it 3155 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ramis182 - United States Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML I agree, your life sucks 38659 You deserved it 5987 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The Bearded Woman - Canada - Kelowna Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 32825 You deserved it 2870 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hopelesshomeless - United States - Cedar Rapids Today, I moved back to my home town. My best friend and I had arranged to rent a house together that we both liked. I finished my last day at work and made the three-hour drive, only for her to break down and tell me that she isn't "ready" to move out of her parents' basement. She's 25. FML I agree, your life sucks 35950 You deserved it 2897 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notthesame - United States - San Antonio Today, my overprotective dad bolted all of my windows shut so that I don't turn out like my sister and sneak out or sneak boys in. FML I agree, your life sucks 14633 You deserved it 1179 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/9/2020 05:56 - New Zealand - Hamilton Understanding Today, it was my dad's 60th. I was planning on calling him early, but due to a client (I'm a social worker) ending up in hospital because her husband beat her up, I couldn't call him until 2:30. My mum phoned me in tears, yelling that I was a bad daughter and obviously didn't care about my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1672 You deserved it 700 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By embarrassed - Canada Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML I agree, your life sucks 10594 You deserved it 123912 328 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 32428 You deserved it 4320 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Asterisk1009 - United States Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML I agree, your life sucks 50460 You deserved it 17014 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UniverseHatesMe - United States - Cuyahoga Falls Today, my neighbor kindly set off a bed bug fogger rather than getting an exterminator, which we'd even offered to help him pay for. We have baseboard heating in our condo building. Guess where the parasites crawled to now. FML I agree, your life sucks 12893 You deserved it 821 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I realized that the random string of numbers I deleted in my phone notes a few months ago was actually the pin code to my new bank account. FML I agree, your life sucks 2193 You deserved it 2669 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fleur_de_fevrier - Ireland Today, I finally decided to go Christmas shopping. It's only once I arrived that I realized that I had forgotten my wallet. FML I agree, your life sucks 10104 You deserved it 24054 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML I agree, your life sucks 54876 You deserved it 2490 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By accioshannon | 17 #5154160 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:30 That sounds catastrophic. Send a private message 99 10 Reply
By buckdharma | 36 #5154291 - Friday 16 November 2012 9:02 i know...i know. im a copy cat. Send a private message 44 0 Reply
By lovelyheadache | 16 #5154158 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:30 Aw sorry that happened OP, maybe mom will lay off the drinking after the morning hits her. Send a private message 18 25 Reply
Reply AbstraktThoughts | 13 #5154171 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:33 Op should record her mom and put together a mix tape when she has enough drunken rants ;) Send a private message 24 0 Reply
Reply HahaHokayThen | 10 #5154195 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:41 Tsk tsk, haven't fed the cat in so long that you forgot you had one. Send a private message 29 0 Reply
Reply sens3sfailing | 24 #5154411 - Friday 16 November 2012 9:39 Yes #1, because so many people stop drinking because they can't stand the hangover...they say they will never drink again...then they drink again... Send a private message 9 3 Reply
Reply desoto96 | 9 #5157028 - Saturday 17 November 2012 4:30 Am I the only one who immediately thought of Bill Cosby? Send a private message 1 3 Reply
Reply lovelyheadache | 16 #5157203 - Saturday 17 November 2012 5:40 Well sorry #37, I was being hopeful. The sarcasm was unnecessary. Send a private message 3 1 Reply
Reply sens3sfailing | 24 #5157842 - Saturday 17 November 2012 11:07 Sarcasm is never unnecessary! What are you talking about?! *mops up the puddle of sarcasm* seriously, it's sarcasm on the Internet from a guy you don't know, why do you give a shit what I think? I know I don't give a shit what I think..,wait... Send a private message 3 1 Reply
Reply jimwsssnn | 11 #6629580 - Thursday 16 June 2016 20:01 Think of it this way #37 is a ass Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By accioshannon | 17 #5154160 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:30 That sounds catastrophic. Send a private message 99 10 Reply
Reply Charmillionaire | 10 #5154191 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:40 No no wait I have one. Uh... pussy... heh. Send a private message 5 24 Reply
Reply xXxIracebethxXx | 14 #5154208 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:48 Looks like the cat's out of the bag. Send a private message 4 10 Reply
Reply Charmillionaire | 10 #5154213 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:49 You hurt my felines, man :( Howzat? Send a private message 17 1 Reply
Reply hannaaaahr | 33 #5154234 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:57 you gotta be kitten me! Send a private message 10 1 Reply
Reply loserboii | 11 #5154347 - Friday 16 November 2012 9:15 Well this thread put me in a catatonic state of mind. Send a private message 9 0 Reply
Reply accioshannon | 17 #5154377 - Friday 16 November 2012 9:29 So, you guys can't let one pun come and go? Send a private message 1 8 Reply
Reply hannaaaahr | 33 #5154560 - Friday 16 November 2012 11:32 34 - NO! the thought alone makes me fur-ious! Send a private message 13 0 Reply
Reply mazzera_fml | 7 #5154897 - Friday 16 November 2012 15:06 You've got to be kitten me right meow. Send a private message 4 4 Reply
By guiltySnake | 16 #5154165 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:30 Well played. Send a private message 1 12 Reply
By Chanti_fml | 26 #5154173 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:33 Look what the cat dragged in... Send a private message 37 2 Reply
By buckdharma | 36 #5154175 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:34 look what the cat dragged in. Send a private message 6 29 Reply
Reply buckdharma | 36 #5154291 - Friday 16 November 2012 9:02 i know...i know. im a copy cat. Send a private message 44 0 Reply
By newbiehere99 | 6 #5154177 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:35 Mom wants her pussy fed ... Send a private message 15 28 Reply
Reply iiTzNeeNerz | 26 #5154427 - Friday 16 November 2012 9:44 Too far. Send a private message 28 8 Reply
By XxskyelovexX | 13 #5154181 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:36 Someone sounds like an angry drunk Send a private message 10 2 Reply
Reply FMLKitten | 15 #5154188 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:38 You called? Send a private message 38 0 Reply
Reply 007type | 26 #5154193 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:40 That was easy.. Send a private message 23 1 Reply
Reply newbiehere99 | 6 #5154199 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:42 Hahahha this just made my night :) Send a private message 9 3 Reply
Reply Trix_Disorder | 20 #5154536 - Friday 16 November 2012 11:00 Who made the cat call? Send a private message 10 2 Reply
Reply RussianFox | 13 #5154737 - Friday 16 November 2012 13:10 Sorry am I late to the party? Send a private message 11 0 Reply
By FMLKitten | 15 #5154185 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:36 Hey, at least she hasn't thrown up... Yet. Send a private message 13 2 Reply
By heythere131630 | 9 #5154197 - Friday 16 November 2012 8:41 Use this opportunity as an excuse to buy a cat! Send a private message 11 2 Reply
Today, marks almost two years of being sexually inactive after being widowed. It also happened to be the day I made an uncharacteristic decision. I hooked... I agree, your life sucks 634 You deserved it 109 5 Comments
Today, my boyfriend hasn’t asked for sex in a while, like months, and when I asked him about it he admitted that every day I shout at him, snap at him... I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 3180 20 Comments