Intimacy: Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty...

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 509

You deserved it 17 427

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Same thing different taste

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 707

You deserved it 78 240

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 389

You deserved it 23 244

By crazyt446 - 11/07/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 465

You deserved it 71 618

By Jssceli09 - 18/12/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 638

You deserved it 24 967

By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00

Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 890

You deserved it 4 729

By maddiee. - 21/10/2010 15:20 - Indonesia

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 273

You deserved it 7 325

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 683

You deserved it 30 658

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 578

You deserved it 4 974

You have the same voice!

By EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 511

You deserved it 24 052

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 4 321

boofgall 16

Tuesday 20 November 2012 9:02

Probably because dirty talk to anyone outside of the party just sounds corny, cheesy or hilarious. Anybody not in that mood would find it funny, if not weirded out.

onlychildFTW 33

Tuesday 20 November 2012 8:58

Never do this at a parents house. Especially with parents home. I hope you learned your lesson OP.

Comments

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 20 November 2012 9:17

Sorry, your dad's a perv. It's one thing to hear you by "mistake" for a minute or two and give you privacy or stop you, if he thinks your conversation is inappropriate vs listening in by eavesdropping.

frottiejoy 7

Tuesday 20 November 2012 9:31

not a perv, just nosey.

CharresBarkrey 15

Tuesday 20 November 2012 11:08

When I was halfway through the FML, I assumed it would end with the father angry and/or threatening to kill the boyfriend. The way it ended leads me to believe that OP and her guy weren't very good at talking dirty, hence the laughing.

blcksocks 19

Tuesday 20 November 2012 9:18

Sure, but coming up with code words for dirty talk isn't that difficult. At least people around you can't hear what the other person is saying, so they don't understand the context. That's what I used to do. it's not as much fun but still better than this situation.

pradip 26

Tuesday 20 November 2012 9:25

Maybe you were not a pro doing the dirty talk and it turned out funny, if it was really a horny sex talk, I don't think a father would continue hearing his daughter that way.

SillyGirl4602 23

Tuesday 20 November 2012 11:38

I agree. If she was talking really dirty to her boyfriend, I doubt her father would have continued to listen.

BlackBlazeCobra 16

Tuesday 20 November 2012 9:39

Reminds me of when I did a late night 3 way Skype call between my friends and man did I have a sailor's mouth. I walked out of my room later to discover my mom was awake, when I thought she was sleeping. Her only response? "Don't burp while you're talking to your friends", haha.