Love: Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the... - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Lightning Bolt

By LightningRod - 18/10/2021 11:00

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 54

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 143

18/09/2010 23:13

Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 926

You deserved it 3 060

You tried

Vulture

Late term

11/03/2011 16:05

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 437

You deserved it 28 263

22/03/2011 02:48

Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 681

You deserved it 4 201

21/11/2014 20:07

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 4 770

20/07/2016 06:40

Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 582

You deserved it 1 356

06/11/2009 00:40

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 386

You deserved it 7 564

02/04/2016 19:47

Today, it's day 9 of my honeymoon. It's also day 8 of my period and day 7 of food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 977

You deserved it 2 071

04/04/2009 19:03

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 337

You deserved it 4 484

11/03/2011 14:33

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 001

You deserved it 7 928

12/09/2018 15:00

Today, I got home to find my dog had found and eaten my wedding rings. I get married in 2 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 764

You deserved it 536

Loose Women

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 22:59

Spicy

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 331

Trust issues

By baby.momma2 - 18/03/2021 14:01

Spicy

Today, I found out that while I was pregnant, my boyfriend asked at least one other woman for nudes. He claims it was a drunk mistake and wants to "keep his little family together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 124

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 00:01

Today, I finally found something to be thankful for in my lonely life: At least I don’t have to panic whenever my period is late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 77

07/04/2017 00:00

Today, I was certain that over the six years of struggling through my Ph.D., I had culminated in one truly original idea. Until I saw it published in another thesis, from 1953. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 664

You deserved it 667

17/10/2010 05:55

Spicy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 837

You deserved it 8 772

14/06/2017 14:00

Today, I failed my nursing clinical for, "being too nice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 176

You deserved it 408

01/11/2011 16:18

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 255

You deserved it 5 957

13/02/2012 01:11

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 291

You deserved it 2 486

23/03/2013 08:17

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 173

You deserved it 3 070

26/07/2010 04:03

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 265

You deserved it 12 532

02/03/2015 05:14

Spicy

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 899

You deserved it 3 458

11/03/2011 14:11

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 4 992

27/10/2012 20:04

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 749

You deserved it 2 066

20/09/2009 01:22

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 204

You deserved it 3 156

21/08/2012 06:31

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 998

You deserved it 2 388

19/04/2013 05:07

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 639

You deserved it 4 381

Family love

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 11:00

Today, I'd arranged a family reunion to see family I hadn't seen in years. Out of about 20 people, only 3 said they would come. One messaged to cancel the night before. The other two no-showed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 91

01/11/2013 16:49

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 492

You deserved it 4 309

28/07/2012 20:38

Spicy

Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 986

You deserved it 3 379

It is free

By Anonymous - 15/12/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I've decided to pay for sex. Stopped at a hooker and asked how much would it cost for a blowjob. Apparently she was a boy and told me: "If you suck my penis first, it is free". FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 3 112

23/01/2013 01:33

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 913

You deserved it 2 530

24/07/2014 21:54

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 587

You deserved it 5 491

19/06/2014 14:33

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 587

You deserved it 8 405

25/09/2018 12:00

Today, a guy asked for hot fries at the drive thru. After receiving the fries, he threw them at the drive thru window, complained that they were too hot, and asked for the manager for burning his mouth. I am the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 970

You deserved it 140

26/06/2009 17:23

Today, I was surfing. I saw a cop writing a ticket for my car, I swam as fast as I could to stop him, I got caught in a wave, and smashed onto the rocks. I ended up with a huge bleeding scratch on my back, a broken surfboard, and a note saying that I had a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 462

You deserved it 9 934

26/02/2010 09:09

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 806

You deserved it 7 009

That went well

By not on life, that's for fucking sure - 25/10/2014 18:27

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 5 079

22/04/2011 05:20

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 396

You deserved it 44 263

09/09/2010 05:33

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months said he wasn't going to break up with me, he was just going to stop touching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595

You deserved it 4 625

24/10/2013 20:06

Spicy

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 217

You deserved it 4 086

31/12/2015 19:20

Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND...!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 012

You deserved it 2 404

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Top comments

merritalstatus 3

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:09

it sucks but you kinda deserved it for not showing him the door within those 20 minutes

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Sunday 19 September 2010 19:47

I agree. If it were me those 20 minutes would have been spend driving to a lawyer, not chillin' with him. Also OP, you don't deserve that kind of treatment DO NOT stay with him. An affair is unforgivable!

Comments

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:03

wow seriously ? hahaha yea FYL

black_knight402 0

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:07

stick a deoderant stick up there

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:14

What was for dinner? a loaf of POW!

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:26

Kung POW chicken.

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Sunday 19 September 2010 10:00

WTF? what were you doing for the last 20 minute??

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Sunday 19 September 2010 11:02

fyl but y would u still be there 20 minutes later?????????

heyred 11

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Sunday 19 September 2010 11:42

So he hadn't died by then? Put another round in him and end his suffering.

Skroal_stomper 5

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Sunday 19 September 2010 12:06

Well? What was for dinner?

MagneticGuitar 0

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Sunday 19 September 2010 14:44

He is a real man!

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Sunday 19 September 2010 15:03

"Hey honey by the way I hate ur sorry little fatty buttox. Also, what's for dinner?"

tweetbaby14 18

Sunday 19 September 2010 17:39

you should've said some super delicious, expensive dish for yourself and he can ask that other woman. I would've been like "lobster with a side of melted butter and steak... for me and for you just go ask _(insert other woman's name here)_."

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 5:43

So what's fir dinner you never answered me?!?

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:05

Awww... That really sucks! I hope your life gets better from this point on!

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Sunday 19 September 2010 14:48

Well, she's the woman.

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Saturday 9 April 2011 21:37

anyone notice that the first post is Justin bieber's top half and the other half is a palerina. lmfao

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

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Sunday 19 September 2010 10:44

Break up sex!

WorldWarAres 11

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Sunday 16 March 2014 3:54

What the fuck is wrong with you people. That is not the right thing to do after telling someone you fucking cheated on them.

merritalstatus 3

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:09

it sucks but you kinda deserved it for not showing him the door within those 20 minutes

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Sunday 19 September 2010 14:53

the house could be his and not hers

MissErikaHart 0

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Sunday 19 September 2010 15:02

they're married the house prob belongs to both

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Sunday 19 September 2010 19:47

I agree. If it were me those 20 minutes would have been spend driving to a lawyer, not chillin' with him. Also OP, you don't deserve that kind of treatment DO NOT stay with him. An affair is unforgivable!

Send a private message

Sunday 19 September 2010 9:09

leave him

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:11

agree with #5. you shoulda kicked him out then and there.. once a cheater always a cheater!

perdix 29

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:47

That's not exactly true. There are people who are so lousy and negligent to their partners that they make their otherwise faithful and loyal partners seek love and affection elsewhere. A more accurate version of that slogan would be: Once a cheater on you, always a cheater on you. It's possible that this person could be faithful to someone who meets their needs.

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Sunday 19 September 2010 16:07

I agree

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Sunday 19 September 2010 19:06

Yeah, and there are also assholes who cheat on unsuspecting partners that are doing everything they can to show that they love them. So screw cheaters. No excuses. They should be a decent person and at least terminate their current relationship before beginning another one.

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:12

There seems to be an epidemic where the male mind is shutting down at an alarming rate!!

YouSuckAtLove 0

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:21

So after he told you that, you waited with him for 20 minutes? not kicking him out? or you leaving? to me it doesnt seem like you care hes cheating.

perdix 29

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:23

What did he do during that intervening 20 minutes? The other woman?

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Sunday 19 September 2010 12:14

That and then some.

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Sunday 19 September 2010 9:27

did u tell him his d*ck on a platter?? what a d*ck weed he is!