Work: Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During...

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 5

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 105

Spicy

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 227

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 123

29/11/2008 16:11

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 969

You deserved it 10 901

Work

And today, on Dr Phil…

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Empathy lives

08/05/2016 08:42

Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 718

You deserved it 2 642

So, are you in or are you out?

By The Fishing Pole - 15/06/2017 18:00

Today, I told my long time crush, "I love you," in an elaborate way. She replied, "What an interesting perspective." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 698

You deserved it 751

20/08/2017 13:01

Today, my daughter decided to draw me a heart for my birthday. Unfortunately, she drew it on the side of my car. With a rock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 256

You deserved it 360

10/10/2018 16:00

Today, I helped this guy get into his truck after he'd locked his keys in it, and he said thank you and went on his way. Ten minutes later, a woman came out of the grocery store and freaked out, saying someone stole her truck. I helped a guy steal a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 251

You deserved it 728

10/09/2018 19:30

Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 714

25/09/2015 17:47

Today, I had to listen to my coworker complain about how working 19 hours a week leaves her with no time to go to the doctor and get her bronchitis treated. Meanwhile I work 40 hours a week, as well as doing 18 credit hours at school, and she refuses to cover her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 644

You deserved it 1 737

13/03/2013 23:22

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 292

You deserved it 4 292

FREEDOM

By Idontlikefireworks2 - 07/07/2018 19:00

Today, some idiots set off fireworks close to my house. I was a bit worried, but my uncle assured me it would be fine and left to run an errand. Just minutes later, I looked up to find the tree right next to my wooden balcony engulfed in flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 220

You deserved it 251

10/12/2015 18:45

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 907

You deserved it 3 306

09/12/2011 05:22

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 047

You deserved it 2 696

15/01/2015 17:23

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 511

You deserved it 4 641

16/03/2010 10:27

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 194

You deserved it 13 237

08/02/2015 19:46

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 949

You deserved it 4 354

13/11/2013 17:30

Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 223

You deserved it 7 740

Got a screw loose

By stupid^2 - 04/10/2021 20:00

Today, I did something you never ever should do. I removed the screw in the shower drain. What I didn't know was that it's impossible to know if the shower will leak afterwards. I just wanted to properly clean the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 236

16/09/2011 21:10

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 506

You deserved it 2 604

02/02/2014 16:53

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 206

You deserved it 8 826

Suspicious Minds

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 16:01

Today, I finally found out why my wife always told me to never visit her at work. You see, my wife and I are dark haired with blue/brown eyes and our daughter is blonde with very striking emerald green eyes. You know who else is blonde with striking emerald eyes? My wife’s boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 88

03/07/2019 20:02

Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 153

06/09/2009 07:25

Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 542

You deserved it 7 856

08/05/2018 05:51

Today, I asked my neighbor to kindly move his truck because it blocks my driveway and the side entrance to my yard. He responded by throwing a decapitated bird onto my front lawn and filing an injunction against me for stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 253

06/07/2009 23:27

Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 262

You deserved it 4 275

Deception

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that my husband, who was supposed to be in PA school, dropped out 6 and a half years ago and never even received his bachelor's. He started lying to me before we were even a year into dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 137

28/02/2011 05:43

Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 713

You deserved it 2 499

25/09/2009 11:13

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 3 454

25/01/2010 10:18

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 488

You deserved it 3 418

20/12/2009 03:08

Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 925

You deserved it 9 032

03/05/2013 15:00

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 187

You deserved it 8 659

26/02/2010 00:14

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 648

You deserved it 46 812

30/07/2011 04:35

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 613

You deserved it 5 259

31/01/2015 13:12

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 282

You deserved it 2 842

04/09/2015 18:08

Today, I had an extreme panic attack in the middle of class. I interrupted another person's presentation, burst into tears, and ran out of class whilst everyone looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 830

You deserved it 3 510

02/01/2010 08:26

Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 131

You deserved it 2 977

15/09/2018 01:30

Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 161

You deserved it 254

Influencers know no bounds

By nope - 29/03/2020 14:00

Today, my wife and I got into a massive argument after she started a YouTube channel for our young daughter. I explained that I’m not comfortable with god knows who looking at our kid. Apparently, I’m just being paranoid. She’s already recorded our entire house, including my daughter's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 531

You deserved it 143

08/05/2014 23:46

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 741

You deserved it 51 242

27/05/2009 04:50

Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 770

You deserved it 2 895

30/09/2014 03:08

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 617

You deserved it 5 466

31/12/2015 22:33

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 680

You deserved it 7 350

08/07/2009 20:51

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 667

You deserved it 4 530

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

kingkash 0

Send a private message

Sunday 28 June 2009 6:35

hahaha I hope u made up a excuse such as I know a wine that goes with this meal alot Better or something like that

Stephai 0

Send a private message

Sunday 14 June 2009 8:32

Poor husband...

Comments

ketan 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 March 2009 16:51

LOLZZ

deys250 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 March 2010 6:42

F your husband's life

the_abnormal 0

Send a private message

Thursday 20 May 2010 6:07

thas the boss's falut for bringing cheap wine..

Hong_Kong 0

Send a private message

Friday 10 April 2009 9:05

smooth job.

Stephai 0

Send a private message

Sunday 14 June 2009 8:32

Poor husband...

kingkash 0

Send a private message

Sunday 28 June 2009 6:35

hahaha I hope u made up a excuse such as I know a wine that goes with this meal alot Better or something like that

FKARYSL 0

Send a private message

Thursday 2 July 2009 23:05

embarrassing D:

ukiekid619 0

Send a private message

Friday 7 August 2009 22:22

y the hell are most of these FML's starting to come from France all of a sudden? wtf...

RalphSwan 0

Send a private message

Thursday 20 August 2009 15:42

I suck dicks for a dollar.

pugpuggy 21

Send a private message

Wednesday 4 February 2015 21:49

And your mother is very proud :)

wasted0087 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 9 March 2010 23:34

How do you get bad whine in France? I mean c'mon!

RebekahBrooke 9

Send a private message

Monday 10 October 2011 21:23

Bad French wine? That happens? ;) just kidding. That sucks.

flockz 19

Send a private message

Thursday 10 November 2011 22:16

aint that some sour grapes...

Applesarefum 9

Send a private message

Sunday 15 June 2014 14:48

You win