By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 10:34 - United States - Sanford

Spicy
Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 161
You deserved it 6 990

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Tell him he has Toupée extra for that. I hope he doesn't try to give it a little wig-gle in there.

15: I do believe that I am going to need years of therapy after reading that.

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Is it supposed to seen like lesbian sex?

It might even be a test so he knows how she'll react to a threesome.

Maybe he can't grow any hair down there... I'm imagining a clown wig down there, him with a clown nose on, honking a little horn while doing her, and then squirting her with a flower in the face when he climaxes. I guess it's just me.

15: I do believe that I am going to need years of therapy after reading that.

I don't believe I'll ever sleep again because every time I close my eyes ill see that picture.

So your saying the wife will be jerkin the merkin. If you don't know what a merkin is it is a pubic wig.

15, please pass me the brain bleach.

Lesbian sex is a wholeeee lot different then sex with a man. I know this because I'm a lesbian.

49- I meant is the husband going to feel like a woman because of the wig?

The question now becomes does OP like Blondes, Brunettes, or Red Heads

48- He used it up after he walked in on his sister plucking her nipples.

Now that's a hairy situation! *Thumbs down*

Yep, pretty much :)

At least you knew you were going to get thumbed down :)

This seems like it could get hairy.

Oh, no shit?

hairry and scaryy. That's how they like it ;D

Tell him he has Toupée extra for that. I hope he doesn't try to give it a little wig-gle in there.

I can't be-weave someone would want to do that

Yea, what a hair-piece of work.

I would say she should find out where he keeps them, then (b)raid the place in the middle of the night and trash them. Or she could just strand her ground and tell him it's knot going to happen any time soon. Unless she lice that kind of thing.

Pleonasm you are the king of puns. Thank you.

I gave you a thumbs up for the Carey Price picture. Goddamn I wish the NHL weren't so pants-on-head retarded.

I dread to think what OP's husband was thinking, I think we'd all be app-bald if it happened to us! But hair-nyway, maybe OP liked it, who knows :) I mane don't love it 'til you try it, right? Maybe he put the wigs on and they went 'fro it!

Well damn, at least he didn't come home with a strap-on.

It depends, if it's one of those velcro wigs, then technically he did. Although that's a whole lot less exciting, and confusing, than a dildo.

Dude, strap-ons are AWESOME. But yeah, you should ask about stuff like this before actually buying them. "Would you be OK with me wearing ladies' wigs during sex?" would go down a lot better than "LOOK! WE'RE GONNA HAVE WIG NOOKIE!"

Why would he need a strap-on if he already has a penis?

Are you serious? I can't tell. If you are, where's your imagination?

37- it's not for him to wear its for his wife to wear

38- No I'm not serious. I was just trying to get her to look at the good side while making a half ass joke but I just it didn't catch.

27 - I was thinking along the same line. Personally, I feel like these sorts of kinks should be out in the open prior to a marriage. I mean, it might be embarrassing, but if it gets you off, it gets you off. You need to make sure your partner is willing to meet you there or compromise.

An your response was... 1. Great, I got some rope and a whip from the sex shop, so this should be really fun. 2. Great, I'm going to grow out my vagina and armpit hair to match the wigs

That's one way to "spice" things up. Seems a little creepy to me.

Dude looks like a lady! Ba-na ba-na dude looks like a lady

Me too, it's disconcerting.

Whenever I spell "banana" I get the "Hollaback Song" playing in my mind. :P

Yep. Damn you, Gwen Stefani, for making me spell out the word banana rhythmically everytime I hear it.

If you won't please your husband, someone else will.

Like my step dad. Just kidding. 0.e

Why won't you wear a wig? If he's finally making an effort to "spice up" your sex life, it means that he has been bored for quite a while. If he wants to wear the wigs, boredom may be the least of your problems. You ought to get a jacket and tie, and grow out your 'stache ;)

Agreed Perdix. I think it's more of FHL for being stuck with a prude that would refuse to even wear wig. Poor bastard prob hasn't had a blow job since they got married.

Maybe he's always had a fantasy of having sex with 'different characters' or different types of women. If you think positively it's a lot better than him going and actually finding those other types of women and just wants to experience fun with his wife.

Wanting to "spice up your sex life" doesn't necessarily mean that you're "bored".

62, if he isn't bored why does he feel the need to spice up his sex life?