By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 16:06 - United States
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Ugh. I don't get why you can't just hold in your moan. Atleast take it out with breathing.. fucking hate when my mom screams for ages. Yeah, I'm a sick little bastard, I know.
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YDI not for having sex around your daughter, but for lying to her about it. seriously, just tell her "daddy and i were having sex, it's something grown-ups do when they're married to show their love for each other." she's gonna find out about it soon enough anyway, it would be better for her to hear the facts straight from her parents than to pick up a bunch of myths and rumors from friends or the TV.
Yes, but 5-year olds are at the stage when they are always asking questions, as they're very curious. This would lead to their daughter asking them what sex is, therefore making them have to answer awkward questions that she'll repeat, or she would ask people in public. Then there's the issue of her repeating what sex is to all of her friends, which their parents probably wouldn't be too happy about.
I agree with diet_otaku. I learned what sex is when I was 6 from a kid in school. If my parents had told me rather than some other kid, it wouldn't have changed much. Why do people feel the need to lie to children about things to protect their "innocence"? It just makes them naive and gullible.
Number 7 and 14: It's not about thinking sex is something to be ashamed of. It's about what is age appropriate and what isn't. Most people don't want their five year olds to know about sex yet, which is PERFECTLY okay and the child's young, impressionable age is VERY important to take into consideration. Details or not. So I agree with crystal_clear and curryndricegirll. They're completely right.
just telling your kid out of the blue what sex is may not be appropriate for a 5-year-old. but if they walk in on you or overhear you having sex, you're beyond the point of choosing what they do or do not know about. they know you were doing something, so you may as well be honest with them and give them the information they're looking for. lying to them just creates problems like the OP's, not to mention the inevitable moment when you have to tell them you lied to them, which is certainly going to create even more problems. honest parenting ftw.
I'm going to have to agree to disagree with you. My parents waited to my siblings and I were 8 to have such discussions. By then puberty is only a jump away, this is especially true for girls. Such discussions and honesty is fine then. It's not okay at 5. A five year old has zero need to know what sex is and I seriously doubt they will feel or be so emotionally scarred by the fact that you didn't tell them the truth about sex at five. I'm sure they'll get over it and grow into functioning adults or understand before then why as a parent you did what you did. I doubt they'll feel hurt or deprived of not knowing what sex was at five. This is especially true once they become parents themselves. Simply saying you were singing to the child will be fine, because at that young and tender age they don't need to know about such adult topics. There is no need for them to be knowledgeable about it at five, period. Not to mention no five year old is simply going to let the conversation end at "daddy and i were having sex, it's something grown-ups do when they're married to show their love for each other." They are going to ask for details because it's in their nature to be curious. To say "they're going to find out about it soon enough anyway" as a reason to tell a CHILD adult information is a negative attitude and a cop-out. If that works on your kids, then great. For most parents, however, telling a young, impressionable child about adult issues they have no business knowing about at that tender age is not acceptable, smart, or okay.
as a matter of fact, *i* was told by my parents what sex was when i was 5, because my mother was pregnant with my brother. all i asked her was why she was fat, and she not only told me she was having a baby, she explained how babies were made and what sex was. and no, i didn't have any other questions after that, nor did i go running around the playground informing the other kids. learning about sex for me was like reading that "everybody poops" book. just a fact of life that didn't warrant any drama or embarrassment. and honestly, at 5 years old, a child certainly already knows what singing ACTUALLY is, so if you're going to hide the truth from them, at least come up with something better than that. tell them daddy was giving mommy a nice massage or something.
Again, we have to agree to disagree on this. Clearly you see no problems with a five year old knowing/talking about sex. Good for you, but I respectfully have to disagree. I don't know why the OP chose to say she was singing over something else, but I get where she was coming from and it makes perfect sense. There is a thing to take into consideration, and that is sensitivity towards the child's young age. A five year old shouldn't have to know about sex, period. And if you know or knew five year olds that already knew what sex was, that's not the norm and that's not something to commend. One should ask themselves why that is because it's not common five year old knowlege. If it works for you, great. It's not okay with most people and it shouldn't be.
I'm going to agree with everyone else on this. Otaku I don't think its appropriate or necessary to tell your child about sex at the age of 5. I didn't learn about it until I was like 9, I didn't feel hurt or offended that my parents lied to protect me from things I had no business knowing yet. Maybe I can understand your point if the OP was a parent who didnt inform her 16 year old daughter about sex or something.
1. Dont tell ur daughter you were having sex say you were making love, different terminology. 2. When I was in 2nd,12st,Kindergarten my bud Andrew told me the word Vagina I had no idea what it meant but i always said it, from then in that year I was known as Vagina Man lol. My parents know I know about sex and that stuff i learned from the Health teacher, internet kids noadays can run the internet better then most adults and will prob find out a young age what it is.
Lying to your kids to "protect their innocence" merely serves to start a culture of repressing sexuality. If you can't explain something to a child, you shouldn't be doing it - it's your role as parents to handle these questions appropriately and not just palm them off with some excuse to make it easier on yourself. However you choose to explain the truth is up to you - but don't just fob them off with a lie because you can't handle the truth yourself.
Not true. My parents kept such topics away from their children until they thought we were old enough, yet I don't think sex is bad or something to be ashamed of. None of us do. Same thing goes for most people. Not being in the Victorian Era is also irrelevant. There are things a five year old is too young to know.
I was about 5 when my parents explained it to me but i just got so confused. They just told me that the man fertilizes the egg that a woman has inside of her and then a baby grows so i imagined a woman swallowing a chickens egg and i man making her swaller fertilizer that you put on the garden. I actually learnt the whole thing from a friend at school when i was about 7. I would just have said mummy and daddy were kissing and cuddeling. Then theres not much questions to come from there. But still, its really the parents choice whether they tell they're children yet. Singing is a perfectly acceptable explanation to me but then problems like that can happen.
There are reasons why movies have ratings due to sexual content. It is not appropriate for all ages. Neither is talking about it. Your memory of this conversation with your mother at the age of five is impeccable. I'm positive that one would not be able to recall whether or not you asked any further questions. A five-year old's favourite word is "why" as they are at the stage in their life when their brains are developing further. I'm a bit iffy as to why your mother would so openly tell you all of that information without hesitation or any prompting when you simply asked why she was fat.
i honestly dont think that a 5 yr old should know about it either. i agree with you..but at the same time, when i was 5, if i was told that then i still wouldnt've known what sex is. why bother wasting your breath when you can just tell them something else to make them happy and forget about it. by now the kid is probably done "singing" in the shower anyways. i agree though, that kid didnt need to know about sex yet.
crystal_clear, there's a difference between explaining to a child what sex is and letting them watch the act. I really don't see the problem with children knowing about sex. I was told in kindergarden, and it was just a natural thing for me. That way, I grew up knowing about my body and the male body without the risk to find out something that could have shocked me, or worse: having other kids tell me nonsense about sex. My class had a nice book for kids that explained the whole deal very well, and I loved it. My mother then decided to buy it for my little brothers, who also had no problem with their early knowledge. It's only awkward for the child, if it is awkward for you.
Look, I can find a website that corroborates my statement and post it, too. http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1O119-MarriageandDivorce.html http://books.google.com/books?id=knN9HzkY1pEC&pg=PA8&lpg=PA8&dq=colonial+women+married+early+twenties&source=bl&ots=31DJnAgqRd&sig=bEYl74trsRJmidEYuvnuHBNCVkQ&hl=en&ei=ZdY_SoHGN5i8M8774bsO&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4 http://www.genealogymagazine.com/coloandma.html I wasn't "underestimating" psychology at all...just saying that your statement that "things were different then and people weren't educated on psychology like they are now" makes no sense. Of course we didn't know as much about psychology then, but having no knowledge of psychology doesn't mean you can't have psychological problems. As I said, if that were true, we could prevent mental illness simply by burning all the psychology books.
Look, just like everyone is saying Sex must be a addressed item in life for kids, dont be affraid to address it with them, if you beat around the bush then you little girl wont know better and thats when they grow up to be parents at 15 and 16. Swx happens teach it to them, AT THE RIGHT AGE!! But if the date comes early deal with it then
We still don't know anything about psychology, science is our way of indexing what we discover. It's a completely fabricated state of reference. It is most especially not a definitive authority on people and emotions. Who can say whether a particular child is too young _or_ too old? You have no clue whatsoever if telling them will have a good or bad affect until they have been affected. And your own experiences compare at about 0 to someone else's, you aren't them and haven't lived in their environs with their upbringing.
That's why you invest in sound proof walls, or stop being so horny when your kid is around
Small children are almost always around, and parents have every right to be sexual, that's how the kids got there in the first place. In fact, they should be sexual, since it will help strengthen the relationship, and the kids will be more likely to grow up in an environment with parents that love and are affectionate towards each other, thus setting a healthy example for their future relationships.
That is the worst idea ever. So many parents refuse to take care of their own children and just dump them in that hole, if you can't take care of your own child then don't have them. Isn't that simple enough? And letting a stranger raise your children while you're sitting at home being a lazy idiot isn't good parenting at all, anyway.