By bigmouthedmommy - United States - San Francisco Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML I agree, your life sucks 34434 You deserved it 3984 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - United States Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML I agree, your life sucks 25055 You deserved it 3833 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/8/2020 05:03 - United Kingdom - Plymouth Some guys have all the luck Today my brother tried to teach me the merits of stalking women on Facebook, gave me a tutorial on how to use improper grammar and spelling to woo them and finally, "using misinformation to start a conversation." He's getting married soon. The last time I kissed a woman was 4 months ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 1242 You deserved it 206 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AW Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 39558 You deserved it 3010 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yollew - United States Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML I agree, your life sucks 11736 You deserved it 30026 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoScrubs - United States - San Francisco Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML I agree, your life sucks 32365 You deserved it 3488 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ButImBeautiful - United Kingdom - Cheltenham Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML I agree, your life sucks 6314 You deserved it 587 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 32909 You deserved it 2858 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jaym42013 - United States - Clovis Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had to stop at Starbucks to get my boss a drink. His son, who is at least 30 minutes late to work every day, was just walking in as I was walking out with all of my stuff. FML I agree, your life sucks 16759 You deserved it 1090 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Arab Emirates - Dubai Today, I am on vacation in Dubai with my dad and a few of his friends. I thought we were going to travel and see some amazing things, but I'm confined to my hotel room while everyone drinks and watches Family Guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 44771 You deserved it 4708 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 44magnumtime - Canada - Oakville Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML I agree, your life sucks 25521 You deserved it 1728 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Phabia - United States - Newton Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML I agree, your life sucks 33845 You deserved it 2309 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lauren - United States - New Market Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML I agree, your life sucks 37543 You deserved it 4149 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hunchbackofnotredamn - United Kingdom - Southam Today, I had to stand up on a train for my 4-hour journey. Why? Two pregnant women flew into unbridled rage with me over sitting in the priority seating, saying I was selfish. I'm recovering from spinal surgery. FML I agree, your life sucks 32261 You deserved it 2247 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML I agree, your life sucks 56623 You deserved it 11611 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 21:01 - Canada - Edmonton Seize the day Today, I asked my boyfriend what would happen if I didn’t get into the same school as him. He replied, "Then we’ll just break up." We broke up. I still don’t know what school I’m going to. FML I agree, your life sucks 645 You deserved it 115 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bootyislife - United States - Seattle Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 45065 You deserved it 4948 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lebato97 - United States Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML I agree, your life sucks 9636 You deserved it 80572 198 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By imgay - Argentina - Buenos Aires Today, I discovered that most of my family is homophobic while discussing Orange Is The New Black. I've only come out to my sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 28620 You deserved it 2817 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML I agree, your life sucks 27459 You deserved it 8641 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By parishiltonsbff - United States Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML I agree, your life sucks 8456 You deserved it 40542 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jim Today, during PE I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML I agree, your life sucks 28314 You deserved it 4278 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Medic - United States - Puyallup Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML I agree, your life sucks 23514 You deserved it 4312 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BG1059 - United States - Irving Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up with last week, asked me for advice. He wanted to know if he should start a long distance relationship with a girl he hooked up with last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 15225 You deserved it 2029 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By williebees - United States - Huntsville Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML I agree, your life sucks 28425 You deserved it 2409 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By needabettermirror - United States - Holland Today, I spent twenty minutes looking in the mirror trying to remove a blackhead from my chin. It was a freckle. FML I agree, your life sucks 7005 You deserved it 2939 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By datgirl92 - Canada - Toronto Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 62124 You deserved it 19614 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Robert - United States Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML I agree, your life sucks 54550 You deserved it 7370 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML I agree, your life sucks 27468 You deserved it 1733 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pissedexworker - United States Today, I found out that being rushed unconscious to the hospital and missing work qualifies you for termination if you don't call in, even if you have a note from the ER doctor. FML I agree, your life sucks 34852 You deserved it 2400 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I have Flashbacks Now - United States - Woonsocket Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML I agree, your life sucks 9306 You deserved it 885 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MALICEG - United States - Oklahoma City Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML I agree, your life sucks 22420 You deserved it 4738 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was in the kitchen with my mother putting up the dishes. I went to stand up from putting a pot in a lower cabinet and hit my head on the upper cabinet she left open by accident. Hello concussion number nine. FML I agree, your life sucks 5674 You deserved it 937 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By her mom raised her - Mexico Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 43703 You deserved it 7005 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML I agree, your life sucks 19388 You deserved it 30522 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nikki My package Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML I agree, your life sucks 2337 You deserved it 664 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TKDConnor92 - United Kingdom Today, I was helping a 7 year old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML I agree, your life sucks 31580 You deserved it 6694 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Montgomery Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML I agree, your life sucks 40978 You deserved it 7253 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Gurnee Today, my tiny apartment flooded. My family lives out of state and the few friends I have all gave me B.S. excuses for why I can't stay over for a few nights. I'm so broke this month that I'll probably have to hit up my psycho ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 21015 You deserved it 1845 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML I agree, your life sucks 11301 You deserved it 41188 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Lincolnton Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML I agree, your life sucks 36676 You deserved it 3866 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loserman67 | 35 #6261412 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:28 So he slipped Mickey his "Minnie"? Send a private message 395 5 Reply
By mattzawesome | 28 #6261407 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:24 I don't think I can look at Mickey Mouse the same way anymore... Send a private message 292 9 Reply
By mrlawlor7777 | 26 #6261405 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:23 Was it a small world after all? Send a private message 97 42 Reply
Reply pugpuggy | 21 #6261541 - Monday 13 April 2015 16:37 I'm sorry. That was terrible. Send a private message 67 5 Reply
Reply psychopolarbear | 28 #6262238 - Tuesday 14 April 2015 5:43 As long as they don't take him to a Disney Park, they should be fine. Send a private message 20 0 Reply
Reply magicdust95 | 31 #6704404 - Thursday 20 October 2016 15:51 I bet it was his favorite thing to play with even as a kid Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By mattzawesome | 28 #6261407 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:24 I don't think I can look at Mickey Mouse the same way anymore... Send a private message 292 9 Reply
Reply Killswitchknot | 20 #6262142 - Tuesday 14 April 2015 3:35 Just imagine how OP and her husband feel. Send a private message 15 1 Reply
Reply fortune789 | 17 #6262219 - Tuesday 14 April 2015 5:27 "Haha! Hiya fella!" Send a private message 20 0 Reply
Reply rdenkewicz | 11 #6261781 - Monday 13 April 2015 20:36 How is this deserved...unless her son is secretly a 12 year old dog? Send a private message 23 0 Reply
Reply oroxsnyder | 8 #6262116 - Tuesday 14 April 2015 2:52 i guess because they walked in on him, but i disagree that was totally an fml Send a private message 6 1 Reply
By fiveforfighting | 26 #6261410 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:26 Well he is 12, time for "the talk" Send a private message 128 5 Reply
By MrConcise | 34 #6261411 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:26 He is known for Tugboat Willie. Send a private message 67 6 Reply
By loserman67 | 35 #6261412 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:28 So he slipped Mickey his "Minnie"? Send a private message 395 5 Reply
Reply The_Podfather | 16 #6262155 - Tuesday 14 April 2015 4:02 *slow clap* Send a private message 17 4 Reply
By Cads1 | 24 #6261414 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:29 I thought the talk was the birds and the bees, not a 5ft stuffed toy and a young boy. Send a private message 32 9 Reply
By kinky44 | 28 #6261415 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:29 Should've at least bought him a Minnie Mouse doll. Send a private message 45 9 Reply
Reply fluffee123 | 2 #6265847 - Saturday 18 April 2015 5:49 Doesn't matter, kids a furry, they have I kill it Send a private message 1 5 Reply
By pepsiman404 | 12 #6261417 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:30 that's my fetish. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Send a private message 42 22 Reply
By imyy | 20 #6261418 - Monday 13 April 2015 14:31 Have a talk with him ASAP...that's definitely not appropriate! Send a private message 13 34 Reply
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 764 You deserved it 78 15 Comments
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 683 You deserved it 63 2 Comments