By jnp414 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Bristol

Today, my house key jammed inside the lock, which would've been annoying even if I hadn't been desperately running from my neighbor's psycho pitbull at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 136
You deserved it 1 564

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Don't run from dogs, they're predators, even if they don't want to hurt you, their instinct is to chase. If you're afraid of a dog or think it wants to attack you, try to stay calm and walk away, don't look at it either. Dogs are mostly bluffing, even when it looks like two dogs are fightings it's noisy and impressive but most of the time there won't be a drop of blood. There are idiots around my neighborhood with a really aggressive labrador, it runs to you growling but if you don't move it stops. People who run from it however, have been bitten. That dog may be a pitbull, it's still a dog. I don't even know how it chases you or if it actually bit you but it might even just be playing, sometimes it's hard to tell.

Once again proving that the only things that smell fear are the things you include in your escape plans.


Time to jump through the window... Into the house

What if the window is closed ?

I assume op would then have to clean up shattered glass and replace the window afterwards.

Glass doesn't actually break like in movies, the window panes people jump through in movies are actually made of sugar, if you try to jump through a real window, you'll probably hurt yourself so i wouldn't recommend it... Also, if a man can jump through that window, so can a dog so if it's really aggressive it's still not a good idea..

What if movie physics don't apply here?

Your advice in comment Fife is great but too late if op has already ran and the dog is already chasing him. I'm not saying that this is the best option but it's an option. I have run through a glass door which did shatter (I understand this is rare as most doors and windows have plastic inlay or are far thicker than the one I ran through). Even if the class doesn't shatter if you hit it hard enough in the right place physics dictates The frame will snap.

Really though, if OP could actually reach the door, jam the keys and write this, the dog meant no real harm anyway. It probably just wanted OP to go away. If it had really be aggressive or "psycho" it would have caught them.

Depends on the glass. I assume that you mean pane? If so you could lose a limb. I know someone who fell through a large pane and got a piece stuck in their leg but pulled it out and lost their leg

That suck op. so what happened when u couldn't get in the house?

Once again proving that the only things that smell fear are the things you include in your escape plans.

Never run from a dog, they love to chase. If my dog is sitting down and I start running, he's gonna chase me, whether he wants to harm me or not. They love to run. Just calmly walk away. Unless the dog is tearing the shit out of you, then get away as fast as you can without giving the dog a reason to run after you.

Don't run from dogs, they're predators, even if they don't want to hurt you, their instinct is to chase. If you're afraid of a dog or think it wants to attack you, try to stay calm and walk away, don't look at it either. Dogs are mostly bluffing, even when it looks like two dogs are fightings it's noisy and impressive but most of the time there won't be a drop of blood. There are idiots around my neighborhood with a really aggressive labrador, it runs to you growling but if you don't move it stops. People who run from it however, have been bitten. That dog may be a pitbull, it's still a dog. I don't even know how it chases you or if it actually bit you but it might even just be playing, sometimes it's hard to tell.

Nice tip, you know, for when next I try to burgle my neighbor's house. His dog has always looked pretty menacing.

I've come across dogs that will chase you even if you're walking. Some owners train their dogs to attack intruders and he may have done something that made him seen unfriendly.

interesting, what if you stand and stare at them?

If you stand there and stare at an aggressive dog, or even a dog that is acting normal and calm sometimes, they take it as a threat. Like you're challenging them and being hostile back. They will get more aggressive and could attack you. It's the same way with humans sort of, if a person makes direct, staring eye contact, it can be intimidating and make you feel more uncomfortable, well it's the same for dogs.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if a dog has bitten on multiple occasions, shouldn't some legal action happen against it?

Yes 23, but only if those reports have been filed. My dog bites my sister, sometimes draws blood, but we never report it, because other than her, he's the sweetest dog. Never hurts a stranger, or another dog. We believe she's the one that's aggravating him so it's not necessary to blame him when he's just defending himself.

Sigh,if a dog wants to hurt you it will walk running or in my case lying in my pj's watching cartoons. If that dog is pyscho enough to attack and she just stands there she may be maimed or killed pit bulls can be powerful dogs. I have a facial scar and nearly died when our pit went crazy and yes I know not all pits are monsters.

So you are just going to stand there and if he attacks it's too late to get away don't you realize telling people this will get them hurt?

You realize telling people to run will get more people hurt and dogs that wouldn't chase otherwise in trouble and possibly killed?

Have you seen her harrass the dog? Because if not she's getting bitten hard enough to draw blood that's pretty messed up.

I've been around dogs all my life studied every book on dog behavior I could get my hands on since I was 8. Is it really more important to look like an expert online than to keep people from getting hurt? EVERYONE ELSE PLEASE LISTEN if a really agressive dog really wants to hurt you standing there will do nothing you are already prey to him I was attacked by a dog while I was lying down eyes on a tv screen completly relaxed. Iam not talking about a loud barky mutt but real agressive killers.

But can people tell the difference. Unless you have some plan, you probably can't outrun a dog. If you run, whether the dog was truly aggressive or not you are going to get chased and they might try to play- jump up and nip or such. Which can be taken as attacking. Or if they are used to playing rough especially it will be taken wrong. Or there instincts might kick in.

If the dog already wants to hurt you nothing you do will make it stop just standing there makes it easier if you run and scream for help you might be able to get inside or get someone to help I know your arrogance is more important than human lives but how is "I will just stand here and look at the ground while being attacked" going to save anyone?I know you won't listen but if just one person survives because of this it's worth it.

I wonder how many people could win a fight against an angry dog? He sure is going to be extra pissed when youu hurt him crazy pit mom really suits you. I hope one of those agressive dogs you love so much doesn't prove my point for me but hey just tell you're kids to "stand thier ground" right? anyway my comments aren't for a person who insults people instead of having a dicusion and cares more about dogs than thier family so I'm going to play with my well trained fuzzy wuzzy dog.

Your comments aren't for people who insult rather than discuss, yet you insult others.. Makes sense.

not to mention the fact that if a dog of that size really wanted to catch you it would... so there isn't much point in running in the first place

Metalcrazed, you ask how many people could beat a dog in a fight, the answer is more likely than you are to outrun it, dogs can only attack straight ahead, get behind it and grab hold around the neck, way more likely than outrunning an animal designed to run abd jump faster than you

Metalcrazed, I think there is a severe bias here on your part, being bitten by a dog at a young age, especially bad enough to leave a scar on the face of all places, can leave quite an effect. I'm very sorry to hear that that happened to you and I'm glad to know that you are not terrified of every dog you meet. However, there is still a bias. When someone tells you that they rehabilitate overly aggressive dogs, you need to respect their experience. It far outweighs reading anything in a book, doing something is very different from learning about it. Also, you will not outrun a dog. Ever. Especially a dog that size. They will catch up to you and when they do, you will have your back to them. You will be defenseless and in a much worse position than if you had stayed where you were. And how many people can win a fight with a dog? Most people actually, if they know how to. A swift knee to the chest is enough to stun most dogs and at least make them think twice about attacking you again (or throat, though that's more likely to seriously injure or kill the dog, but if it comes down to them or you, do it). Typically when a dog attacks you, they will leap upwards to get your arm, face, or neck. Standing still and then stepping forwards when you knee them will usually take most of the force and help keep you on your feet. And even if it doesn't, you will bounce off of each other and both end up on the ground, but the dog will have the wind knocked out of them. This works on dogs that are larger than you (I did it as a 80 lb kid to a 120 lb dog and trust me, it worked) and usually gets them to reconsider even if it doesn't immediately make them quit. Running is the worst of your opinions unless you have a safe area very close by. Stand your ground, don't look them in the eye (that means look in their direction enough to know where they are but not directly at them), and when necessary, knee them, punch, kick, anything but please don't run.

Since the "win a fight against a dog" idea has been mentioned, just know that there is a helpful tip that works with every land dwelling predator, could even save you from a tiger, yes yes. It is gross but shove you finger in it's throat, it a dog is biting your arm, don't pull. Push instead, no matter what specie, their jaws are meant to hold something trying to get out, not in. Or try to grab the dog's lip and shove the skin over it's teeth, the pain should make it let go. Don't even try to choke one, their necks are way more muscular than you think and you will just cause the biting animal to shake to get rid of you and injure you even more. And no, i don't care how many books you read, you don't run from a dog, the amount of dogs that actually attack to kill is lower than 10%, in 90 % of the cases, you're not really in danger. Another helpful tip in case of actual attack: If the dog is running to you and being very loud (barking, growling..) it just wants you to go away. Be afraid if the dog is staring at you in an aggressive way and SILENT. Because that's a hunting behavior. In that case, keep calm and be prepare to react if the dog attacks. If it does, protect your throat and your face, your arms getting bitten is painful of course but still gives you some extra time to try and defend yourself. Scream. Make as much noise as you can, if it gets noticed, chances are people will come to help you and the animal might give up. But really guys, if OP could actually reach the door, had extra time to jam the keys and could actually write this, that dog wasn't really aggressive.

as a horse owner and rider, I have come across a lot of chase happy dogs. Lesson #1 if a dog is chasing you turn around and run at it. 9.9/10 they will turn and run, sometimes they even yelp because they are so scared. Predators and not used to having something come after them so when you do, they freak out. Even a mean pitbull will run away from you. I was once out riding and a guys pitbull who was known as a dog killer, as he had killed 3 dogs in the area already, was loose in his yard. He came after my horse causing me to slip half way off of him. When I managed to stop my young horse as soon as my boots hit the ground I unhooked my rein and charged after the dog. The plan was to beat the living shit out of the dog so it was too scared to come back. But as soon as it realized I was aggressively coming for it, it ran. If you are constantly being chased by this dog, regardless of breed, I'd let the owners know that you are within your rights to kill the dog the next time it comes after you. That threat alone should make them keep their dog on a leash or properly fenced. I own a German Shepherd and IF he ever bit anybody they would ask for his head on a plate. If that pitbull bit someone the whole neighborhood would be in a pitbull frenzy. Those idiots of owners need to protect their dog and if it takes threatening to take its life then do so. I know you are worried about yourself, but I'm worried about the long term consequences that dog could cause for the breed as a whole. Save both your lives and confront the owners. Hell even call the cops!

I got two big dogs that literally would hurt a fly yet people see them run they think it's a game and go bounding after them wanting a pat I then need to chase them and show people they are just big babies. I'm sorry you had a bad experience op

I believe you meant *wouldn't hurt a fly Sorry, its just i was confused when i first read it. Your point is valid

If your dog would literally chase down and hurt something as tiny as a fly, I shudder to think of what it would do to us tastier preys.

Sorry I meant wouldn't the neighbours cat actually bosses the two dogs around and they just let it.

I'm afraid of dogs. Even if they don't hurt flies. Friendly dogs just run up to me with no regard for how I would react. Same for aggressive ones. Fortunately, everyone somehow knows that I am afraid of dogs, so they give me a wide berth. Why was the pit bull just running around without a leash or the owner around? That is very irresponsible.

sometimes doggies get out of their yards on accident and I don't think they "let" their dog do that. and pitbulls are just mush balls that just want attention. they are so sweet yet misunderstood.

dogs that large, such as pitbulls, didn't get there by being sweet little mushes. they got there by being aggressive. this is true for just about any other dog breed around. its the training that makes them sweet mushes, and, frankly, not everyone is good at training. some even train them to be *more* aggressive, for whichever reason. you'll understand if i prefer to think of them as aggressive unless otherwise proven. also, don't generalize dogs. that's not a smart idea. for good or worse.

I was nearly killed by a pit that was my best friend since he was a pup they aren't all mushies.

Its actually proven that small dogs are more aggressive than large dogs, my cousin has a 20 pound dog that attacks me everytime I go over so they have ti put him in another room and leave him there, whereas my 200 pound English Mastiff has draw blood only a few times as a puppy before teaching her not to bite. My dog who was bred for a guard dog, literally didn't bite when our house was broken into. She has attacked literally nobody. People are just ignorant and believe big dogs are more aggressive only because when they are they can do more damage.

Ok,I have been bitten a few times by small dogs thier owners are too stupid to train but when the bigger dogs do attack they can do a massive amount of damage.

Doesn't matter because they aren't as dangerous. More aggressive yes, but a dachshund isn't going to land you in ICU (or worse, a grave) like a pitbull will. Never understood why people frown upon owning wild animals as pets for their "dangerous instincts" but are a-okay with dogs that were bred for the sole purpose of fighting and killing.

Dogs bred for fighting and mean every hunting dog ever?

Most dogs bred for hunting and killing are the most harmless because when they got popular poor breeding practice drove the breeds into terrible health. Also, big dogs usually only hurt people by accident, the only aggressive dogs I've ever seen that weren't trained to be aggressive were small dogs.

#21 That's not necessarily true. My lab is gentle and a big baby. He wasn't trained to be that way, he's just always been that way. It's just his natural temperament that he was born with. Labs were originally bred to retrieve birds that their owners shot and fell into the water. They have naturally sweet, gentle temperaments that make them ideal family dogs and they also make good assistance dogs. Labs were never meant to be aggressive, nor did they thrive as a breed because they are aggressive but quite the opposite. They are one of the most popular breeds in America because of their sweet and gentle temperaments.

Sorry about your luck Op ...... I know how you feel except mine is an ankle biting Chihuahua that lives at my mothers

I hope the dog didn't end up biting you OP. If the dog chases many people and this isn't something out of the ordinary then you may be able to call the police.

times like this you wish you had an antman suit.

Eh, if it were to attack you on your own property, a pretty nice lawsuit might come about for your neighbors

If she survived she needs to call animal control.