Miscellaneous: Today, my grandpa still receives more mail than me. He's been... - FML

By lesousterre - 15/07/2015 18:06 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my grandpa still receives more mail than me. He's been dead for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 816

You deserved it 2 628

Mother of the year

Hack it off

Privacy

By Ewwwww - 27/05/2019 11:59

Today, while working the register, I told a kid his total was $2.15. He then took his shoe off and handed me his money. It was damp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 103

By why - 20/01/2018 15:00

Today, I was suspended for "selling drugs on campus". I was trying to give the school nurse approved medication for my severe epilepsy. I'm suspended for 3 weeks and have to go to a drug seminar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 315

You deserved it 278

By jf29 - 31/01/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 618

You deserved it 46 650

By whythebunny - 30/10/2015 18:56 - United States - Bastrop

Today, in an effort to look more professional at work, I wore high heels. My boss decided today would be a great day for me to walk around on the sidewalk holding a sign to advertise instead of doing the job I was hired for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 655

You deserved it 2 334

By elisabeth_pwnes - 16/03/2012 10:38 - Norway

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 176

You deserved it 3 726

By Depressed - 14/07/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 005

You deserved it 3 575

By lalala - 22/12/2011 17:26 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 933

You deserved it 7 946

Meet the parents

By Scared - 28/08/2020 05:03

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Remember the show Honey Boo Boo? They seem sophisticated compared to the family of weirdoes I got to meet. It's almost got me reconsidering my planned proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 222

By 1suckatL1fe - 04/05/2009 19:04 - United States

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my ex-girlfriend's number. She texted back, "One of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 723

You deserved it 72 234

Values

By mira - 13/03/2021 17:01

Today, I told my mom I was leaving early to give my boyfriend a ride to work. She asked me why on Earth I’m even attracted to someone who doesn’t have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 359

Second time

By Anonymous - 31/12/2019 01:00

Today, I woke up with a rash on my face after just getting over a bad cold. I was told by the doctor that it was a staph infection spread by wearing a face mask. The face mask I wore so people wouldn’t catch the cold from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 931

You deserved it 290

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 350

You deserved it 2 431

By mayerstexmex69 - 08/11/2012 15:52 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 729

You deserved it 2 243

Scammers gonna scam

By CrystalsDontWork - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - El Paso

Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer, as well as a soothsayer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 161

You deserved it 2 807

By Anonymous - 16/07/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 847

You deserved it 46 172

By therealkathl - 05/03/2015 13:32 - Austria

Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 192

You deserved it 3 408

By crier - 27/08/2013 18:34 - United States - Norfolk

Spicy

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 487

You deserved it 12 405

Planned Parenthood

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 22:01 - United States

Today, I got the biggest shock in my life, I'm a mistake, and the only reason why I wasn't put up for adoption is because of the tax refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 121

By Annoymous - 03/09/2009 10:19 - Australia

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 426

You deserved it 5 794

By hospital - 05/10/2010 23:36 - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 994

You deserved it 5 638

By MobPerfect - 11/05/2012 13:24 - United States - Providence

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 364

You deserved it 3 523

By sleepylillion - 25/04/2016 05:07 - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 1 509

By leonuniz - 19/04/2015 16:34 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 5 097

By screwed - 18/06/2011 08:51 - United States

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 551

You deserved it 4 933

By stressedandcrowded - 05/02/2011 16:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my sister is going to spend the last two months of her pregancy in my house to be with my mother. She's bringing with her her three wild children. The visit also happens to coincide with my end of year examinations in May and June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 979

You deserved it 3 336

By unlucky - 31/05/2016 19:05 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I went to a party. After asking several people about the ingredients in a cake, I took one bite and ended up in the hospital with a severe reaction to the nuts that "definitely weren't" in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 413

You deserved it 908

By Jioune - 05/07/2016 21:56 - France - Caluire

Today, I learned that my friends nicknamed me Snow White, not because I’ve got dark hair and very pale skin, but because I “only hook up with tiny dudes”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 469

You deserved it 2 524

By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 445

You deserved it 127 578

He's got the moves

By beccav23 - 25/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 259

You deserved it 7 457

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 109

You deserved it 6 078

By Workplace woes - 12/05/2016 17:00 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 089

You deserved it 1 005

Creepy nevertheless

By humdrummitydrum - 19/08/2014 20:46 - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 134

You deserved it 6 647

Good initiative

By cough - 27/12/2019 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 211

It is what it is

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 19:57

Today, I drunkenly admitted to a friend of five years that I've "liked" her for a long time now. She's been in a relationship with some douche for a year and a half at this point. She started crying, and when she finally stopped said, "I can forget this ever happened." FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 271

By not a brain cell in sight - 16/06/2013 20:20 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 214

You deserved it 4 273

By idiotfucks - 30/04/2014 20:56 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 180

You deserved it 8 316

By a fatty - 15/02/2011 06:25

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 678

You deserved it 36 354

By gonebabygone - 27/08/2009 06:58 - United States

Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 134

You deserved it 9 511

By Anonymous - 06/07/2015 01:48 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 263

You deserved it 2 172

By RdL - 17/03/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 462

You deserved it 31 405

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:17

Well then he was quite the popular one when he was alive

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:22

Don't worry too much about it, OP, it gets far, far, less exciting when it's bills.

Comments

Roxas_hearts 27

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:16

Why are you checking his email?

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:17

OP could be referring to paper mail.

Canadian0622 17

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:17

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dislike your post. I don't think I can undo it.

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:19

OP said mail, not email.

Roxas_hearts 27

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:19

Oh shoot I read email and had no time to edit it! Embarrassing... But either way, what is OP looking for in his mail?

Roxas_hearts 27

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:22

And I just screwed up again, probably bills. Let me just hide in shame

leogachi 15

Thursday 16 July 2015 7:51

If the mail is being sent to Op's house s/he's probably checking the name before opening the mail. Also, with all sympathies to Op, does it really matter that a family member is going through the mail of a dead person?

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Thursday 16 July 2015 11:50

Damn it roxas xD

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Thursday 16 July 2015 12:08

Poor Roxas, your comments died before you had a chance to live

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:17

Well then he was quite the popular one when he was alive

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Thursday 16 July 2015 18:30

poplar*

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:17

I don't see why that's a bad thing. Unless he's receiving like actual letters from people /:

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:18

could be worse, you could be getting a bunch of bills and solicitations.

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:18

Is one of them of a credit card? In all seriousness notify these people of his passing.

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Thursday 16 July 2015 9:11

Oh we have.

qdawg06 23

Thursday 16 July 2015 7:19

I hope I'm still remembered and popular once I'm gone, even if it is just bills.

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:22

Don't worry too much about it, OP, it gets far, far, less exciting when it's bills.

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:22

How is this an fml? Most people receive almost everything via email now days anyway.

ProximityToDeath 20

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:23

Here is to hoping he paid off those parking tickets

limegreenpoopie 31

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Thursday 16 July 2015 7:25

Dang he was a celebrity xD

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 9

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 145

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 91