By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 374
You deserved it 3 383

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Top comments

Lol that's like 3 FMLs in one

I hate it when that happens.

Comments

Bananas be crazy

"I'm going to poison myself to with this daily dose of natural Potassium! I'll do it, don't try to sto-hahaha, I'm so insane. Dementia is a hoot. You should really put me in a retirement home."

I hate it when that happens.

Oh does that happen to you often?

wlddog 14

I lost my grandmother to a loaded Banana. We told her to put the safety on. I blame myself for leaving it out of the banana safe.

Yeah, I do as well. It really puts a damper on my day. However, my grandmother much prefers the apple grenades.

My grandma almost did it, but she forgot to cock it

You know it could really happen. What if she was highly allergic to bananas. Or if she crammed it down her throat and choked to death. Or if she jammed it in her ear and destroyed her brain. Or fed it to a psychopathic monkey that kills anyone that feeds it a banana. You never know. Bananas can be very dangerous.

79- The first three were just scary to imagine.

Attack of the Banana!

BunchieRules 31

58 - I personally prefer the lemon grenades, but my grandmother considers them to be too sour.

Nice family you got there.

lucyinthesky420 10

79- Obviously those who thumbed you down underestimate how dangerous a banana can be..

I don't understand why no one has commented about the Monty Puthon skit yet.. This is like.. The opportune moment quote it. :(

"Calm down, Nana and give me that banana!"

why did this get buried? i thought it was a funny comment..my sense of humour must not be good

I swear, this is the awesomest FML I've read for a long time.

the_anti_hipster 7

Yeah, it doesn't sound very ap-peal-ing to me at all...

curlyfry33 8

The first part in 79s profile info is wrong, the second part is right though.

Bananas can be very scary! Maybe grandma's plan was to eat it, throw the peel on the floor, intentionally step on it to slip and fall, and end up dead from hitting her head on the ground. Seems like a lot of work. Keep the bananas away from grandma! lol

GaleHawthorne 0

I use combustible lemons.

158 - damn I knew I was missing a probable scenario.

Lol that's like 3 FMLs in one

flashback.miss 28

well said. Serously, why, just why?? Either way, pity and sympathy all around.

That's like three comments in one, 17!

...Three failed comments in one, if I may add.

mduffy08 8

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There are many ways to kill yourself with fruit. Like... Like if you... If you... F*ck you!

MindFreakazoid 10

Very funny 105, very funny .-.

Bananas, very dangerous

Don't joke about things like that! The time I killed myself with a banana was very painful and scary. If only someone had taken the situation more seriously...

Bananas are deadly weapons.

Maybe she was going for food poisoning? Or beat herself with it until she bled to death? So many ways to kill youself with a banana, those thibgs should be illegal!

Don't underestimate them...

Saryrr 3

I'm now thinking of Monty Python - self defense against fruits.

Knife or banana! Knife or banana!

BunchieRules 31

40 - You could stick a fork into the toaster in your picture and get electrocuted, but toasters are still legal. Many dangerous things are still legal, but a banana is not a likely choice of weapon anyway.

103- He was making a joke.

perdix 29

#74, what about a point-ed stick?

Thanks #111, some people need to get beaten with a sign that reads "irony" before they get it...

perdix 29

#128, I once bought a sign that said "Irony." It was made of aluminum.

128-And some people need to be brutally flogged with a cane that is engraved with 'Lame Excuses' until their pathetic, apologetic screams die out.

16- You killed yourself with a banana yet you're here, commenting on FML? :P

btstig 11

Mom sounds high strung. Should have turned the banana on her.

Sounds like a good idea. "you didn't take her seriously! Grounded" "mom it was a banana" "grounded, it was your grandmother!"

22cute 17

Maybe if she tried to choke on it? Or if she was planning to put it on the stairs and slip on it?

A7X_LoVeee 10

Your grandma sounds awesome. I love old people.

bitter3ulogy 0

#6 Alesana all the way m/

gTOtheT 7

One time my grandma found condoms and blew them up and hung them everywhere.... Yeah old people are pretty awesome!!!!

uJelly24 1

You love old people? Gross.

DwarfFrog 5

My grandma is actually a complete nutcase.

Old people are awesome! And adorable! :) but some can be off their rockers.

FMLandurstoo 9

Bitches be crazy!

olpally 32

I imagined Herbert saying that... Creepy and hilarious, lmao :D

curlyfry33 8

I bet the grandma is number 7s wife, make that ex wife... You know because of the little boys...

What was she gonna do? Deep throat it and choke herself?

Of course. How else do you kill yourself with a banana? That's the only normal, sane way to do it.

Shes a suicidal old lady. Weapon of choice: a banana I dont think that clarifies as sane.

alshygirl 14

Throw the peel on the floor and slip?

One can freeze and sharpen it.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Is it possible for people to be allergic to bananas? Maybe that's why?

She was probably going to cock it and blow it straight into her open mouth.

69- it is possible. I actually am and it really sucks.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Okay, why did I get so many thumb downs then? It was just a suggestion, people.

Because she isn't allergic. That's why OP didn't move to take the banana from her.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

I didn't mean suggestion for what happened in the FML. I just was asking if some people were actually allergic. I wasn't saying that maybe her grandma was allergic. I'm sorry if I made it sound that way.

22cute 17

Yeah, banana allergy, I didn't think of that. Your throat could swell shut & you'd asphyxiate.

EmoBitchRock 0

Yes, but also, what normal, sane, old woman will attempt suicide with a banana?

CessOMG 3

You have a cool grandma and quite weird too. But you didn't deserve to be punished at all.

Grandmas say the darndest things.

olpally 32

Or in this case, they say the craziest things...