By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 188
You deserved it 3 603

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Perhaps you should talk to her about how absolute gross that is. Toilet time is private time

Your grandma thinks you are so full of shit you would clog her pipes?

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Perhaps you should talk to her about how absolute gross that is. Toilet time is private time

What happens if they're too big for her preference? Edit: I didn't see #9 till after I posted this. But still.

But is your toilet okay?

^But is your comment ok? (No).

It should be. That's some real thorough inspection.

Why don't you guys get a plumber..

Because the plumber is too busy trying to rescue a princess from a giant turtle-dragon, because he's high on 'shrooms.

You just need to buy the "double impact" drain clogger. If you do, two hot plumbers come over to clear the drain for free. Don't you watch tv?!

This is a shitty si- *gets shot*.

*gets bleach and towels*

*Starts the car, pops the trunk* Hurry, we don't have much time. :P

Damn! Here comes the po po! There's no time! *pours gasoline* *strikes match and drops it*

woop woop... see the match lit and fire start... fires 4 shots... you dead

*shoots with tranquilizer (because murder is wrong, kids) and leaves body in lewd position for everyone to see. *surround myself with an impenetrable force field in case someone tried something.

Please. The one time ain't never gon take me alive.

Your grandma thinks you are so full of shit you would clog her pipes?

I have to admit, I was reading a little fast and thought it said that whenever OP talks crap at first...

"your logs are looking a little runny Timmy. i told you that you needed to eat your greens!"

Ahhh the texture :-/

Grandma:They're looked big today. Better throw'em at those trespassers! Op:but those are my friends! *action ensues LATER Grandma: want to play cards? Op:Not like I got friends to talk to...

His Grandma: "So you've been eating all of your corn. Good!"

If I were u I'd go to public washrooms more often

What would she do if they are actually big enough to clog up the pipes?! I hope no spoons are involved!

Exactly what determines too big? Is it total volume or the sizes of individual pieces? Does density matter ( sinkers vs floaters)? I'm really curious about her formula :)

I was wondering the exact same thing

Poor OP, I'd be mortified