Intimacy: Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either....

By butnotlikethat - 16/03/2013 00:05 - China - Nanchang

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 968

You deserved it 6 228

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Same thing different taste

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 410

You deserved it 3 051

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 560

You deserved it 3 071

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 406

You deserved it 6 880

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 239

You deserved it 20 788

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 675

You deserved it 5 202

By GrandmasWhore - 04/04/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 238

You deserved it 90 459

By poorlyparented - 16/06/2015 12:05 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 203

You deserved it 5 712

Advice time

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 10:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 136

You deserved it 2 271

Poor perfomance

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 04:00

Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 033

You deserved it 626

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 186

You deserved it 4 177

Rosemary072098 11

Saturday 16 March 2013 5:31

Grandma knows what she's talking about ;)

BubbleGrunge 18

Saturday 16 March 2013 5:34

I think she's trying to teach you how NOT to gag.

Comments

Stella836475 7

Sunday 17 March 2013 3:27

That's hilarious and true lol

jaybear11 6

Sunday 17 March 2013 3:49

Gag yourself with a ****!

adam_night 9

Sunday 17 March 2013 5:02

"Gag me" I fell out of my bed laughing.

egghead1280 6

Sunday 17 March 2013 6:12

Interesting choice for your parting remark

onorexveritas 23

Sunday 17 March 2013 7:47

oh my gosh.... that would be really awkward. i'm glad ny grandma stuck to the marriage talk

xRezSynn 15

Sunday 17 March 2013 13:57

Sounds like she's experienced.

RuthlessTruth 9

Sunday 17 March 2013 14:40

The point here is NOT to gag(;

ebull30 3

Sunday 17 March 2013 14:50

Smartest grandma ever

meintx 9

Sunday 17 March 2013 16:24

Swallow, Don't gag, and Don't bite. lol

SaintJimmyxx 8

Monday 18 March 2013 4:39

ha. acquired taste. literally.

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The Top

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You deserved it 19 038

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You deserved it 183 654

The Top

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You deserved it 95

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You deserved it 199

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I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 597

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I agree, your life sucks 36 061

You deserved it 19 235

Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 414

You deserved it 2 734