Love: Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from...

By Depressed - 14/07/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 005

You deserved it 3 575

Love

You tried

Nice neighborhood

Who talks to you like that at work?

By Allie cat - 02/12/2016 13:43

Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 416

You deserved it 1 553

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 918

You deserved it 3 760

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 04:49 - United States - Houston

Today, I met my future mother-in-law. All went well; she complimented my dress, and I complimented her haircut. Then she and her son had a screaming match over how our children will be fat because of their mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 771

You deserved it 3 936

By Stinkbomber - 24/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 832

You deserved it 455

By boringhusband - 08/05/2016 14:29 - United States - Salisbury

Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 647

You deserved it 1 487

By Anonymous - 31/10/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 149

You deserved it 2 637

By EmBAREassed - 31/07/2009 13:43 - United States

Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 462

You deserved it 60 202

Pro gamer move

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 07:04 - France

Today, I wanted to play Among Us for a little distraction. I ended up having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 205

We need to see the video!

By Lightweight - 08/03/2021 20:02

Today, I found out that while some people make out with others when drunk, I apparently sing a weird mash up between "Bad Romance" and Terry Pratchett’s Hedgehog song. My friends recorded it and posted it on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 298

By McSlave - 18/01/2015 07:04 - Australia - Cammeray

Today, a customer tried to order a Zinger burger. I tried to explain that he was at McDonalds and that the Zinger is a KFC burger. He accused me of lying to him and tried to report me to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 879

You deserved it 2 393

No more cheese before bedtime

By mmmmm - 17/05/2021 20:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I had a dream in which an electrical outlet began spewing water. It then spoke to me, "You’re not telling ANYONE about this." I then woke up with laryngitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 70

By "sanza666" - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 201

By ihatemylife - 28/01/2013 01:08 - United States - Naperville

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 320

You deserved it 2 404

Poker face

By therealducktape - 20/08/2010 22:03 - France

Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 794

You deserved it 3 529

By 4fucksake - 18/07/2010 23:26 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 260

You deserved it 4 675

By Metime - 05/11/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 633

You deserved it 33 272

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 770

You deserved it 19 054

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 17:21 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 262

You deserved it 4 348

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 13:57 - Norway

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 126

You deserved it 2 346

By Backseatseller - 15/09/2009 05:35 - New Zealand

Today, I was at work, and some people came in looking for a particular couch. After looking for over an hour on the wholesalers website my boss walks over, makes me take my lunch break and then calls over the couple and takes all the credit for the sale. We work on commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 541

You deserved it 3 107

By why mom, why? - 12/06/2013 04:59 - United States - Ross

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 547

You deserved it 14 316

By romainmain - 16/09/2012 22:50 - France - Charleville-m?zi?res

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 913

You deserved it 26 510

No rest for the heroes

By J Claire Sanchez - 22/03/2020 15:56

Today, everyone has been advised to stay home and self-quarantine due to the COVID19 outbreak. This would've been great and all, especially since I'm pregnant and need the bed rest, but I work as a doctor and we're understaffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 151

By rotezora - 02/09/2012 12:44 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 433

You deserved it 3 581

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 3 246

Creepy crawlies

By Anonymous - 27/07/2020 17:01

Today, a friend of mine told me, after coming over to my house for years, that she has tiny "bugs" that are attached to her and follow her wherever she goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 111

By gooddaydude - 04/04/2015 19:32 - United States - Omaha

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 310

You deserved it 4 279

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 898

You deserved it 11 773

By anonymous - 08/09/2015 12:35 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 390

You deserved it 2 023

Treat yourself

By dll - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 9 096

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 23:25 - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to play my friends the demo CD that I've spent all summer recording. I didn't tell them it was me. Not even 10 seconds into the first song, my best friend asked me to turn it off because it sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 522

You deserved it 6 633

By Anonymous - 09/07/2013 04:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 598

You deserved it 5 065

By incestastic - 14/08/2010 23:23 - Canada

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 083

You deserved it 3 037

The grind

By Gunaditya - 26/09/2021 23:00

Today, what did I get after a long, tiring week? A long, depressing weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 101

By Kat - 08/11/2008 07:51 - France

Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 359

You deserved it 5 214

By itsbeenalongday - 27/09/2015 16:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen asleep in my arms and everything was perfect - until I noticed the water around us had started turning yellow as she pissed herself in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 873

You deserved it 3 033

By dumb tourists - 31/03/2013 06:19 - China - Beijing

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 856

You deserved it 2 923

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 381

You deserved it 8 511

By Dumbweed - 28/08/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 227

You deserved it 67 597

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Fall City

Today, two days before a big weight lifting competition with a $3,000 grand prize, I broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 490

You deserved it 676

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Top comments

FFML_314 11

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:14

I hope you didn't invest to much time,effort and money into that relationship. Take the opportunity and do some things you've always wanted to. :]

Amy_1995 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:22

get back at her she was clearly cheating on you in the first place

MudPuddleMica 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:11

shit happens.

Shookitup 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:16

cuttt the bitch XD

UnearthlyEnemy 9

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:19

Indeed it does.

Tantaran 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:27

i feel ya man. girls are whores.

mikeyb102 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:28

>:D

mikeyb102 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:29

oh, and hakuna matata

FFML_314 11

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:30

That must have been one hell of a breakfast you had this morning 18.

Horde 8

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:32

"taking breaks in a relationship" translates to "it's over", she just hadn't had the balls to tell you straight

mikeyb102 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:34

I had my wheaties:D not really:/ I could go for some right about now.. or a nice sandwich.. with turkey and lettuce and tomato and dijon andswiss cheese mmmmmm

FFML_314 11

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:52

Really? Well, you're comment disturbs me. I hope you don't live in my county or even my state. Should I keep a knife under my pillow, just incase?

mikeyb102 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:56

nah I'll be nice

tniggs 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 13:15

damn lol

metalfan333 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 13:27

vagina

hott15 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 13:34

find a new girlfriend.

ACDCKISS73 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 14:08

most people aren't emo and cut themselves it other people

GhettoMaverick 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 14:35

not to get off track but Dayum 1 & 7 u two r beautiful. anyway beat this bitchass boyfried to the floor

sports_chika 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 14:38

sorry op, but be glad she's in your past now and find someone better than her.

thaprince1226 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 14:50

Today my gf cheated on me.FML

PhoenixFiend 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 15:40

It's clichè D; My girlfriend did the same thing. It's been two months. She isn't dating anyone else, but it still meant it's over. Though, she does try to call me back as a booty call pretty often >.>

Krajjan 9

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 15:42

Happened to me once. Best advice, move on and make fun of her at every opportunity.

boredSOLDIER 33

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 15:45

so i noticed it says, "i agree your life sucks" now instead of FYL. this has gotten gay

xXLenaXx 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 16:15

Better now than when you've given her your heart and an expensive ring. Send the boyfriend a "CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW HERPES!" card.

cOOkiEzRgOOd 22

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 16:26

the horde is horrible alli all the way

comatoast 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 16:46

tell her to go back to her home on whore island!

shepaintsmusic 6

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 16:48

something similar just happened to my friends who were dating... :( FYL.

AA357 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 17:03

*yawn*

emmanizzer 6

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 17:18

oh come on, i swear i've read this one before.

sabatical 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 18:02

it happens to people quite a bit.

crimsongetsu 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 18:56

torch ur gurlfriind aand her. new bf hehee

OhWowFYLindeed 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 21:11

So many of these FMLs. I feel sorry for each and every one of them. :(

JokingJoe 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 22:49

boringgg.

khadijah32594 3

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Thursday 15 July 2010 4:26

damn im soory but find another chick shit she moved on and now you need to too

caritotscn 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 4:47

always d same type of FML! this is getting boring...

msyelowbubblegum 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 8:06

aww well this happens ALL THE TIME! soo suck it up!:P ur guna hafta get used to it.. but im still sorry:/

xkittykatx 0

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Saturday 17 July 2010 23:13

hi(:

leadrunner751 3

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Sunday 18 July 2010 0:11

hello #1 *flips hair back*

NoFatAssOnaStick 0

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Monday 20 December 2010 7:32

Damn, 1's hot!

theChupacabras 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:12

move on brother, move on. don't even look back.

sharmen 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 13:45

What are you, Hulk Hogan?

loserboii 11

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:14

I'm guessing she didn't like you, how mean girls are..kidding lol.

Stevefett 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 2:30

3- yo LL Cool J you forgot to button your shirt. This isn't a dating site and noone cares.

NavyWifey29 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:14

that is messed up :/ sorry OP.

FFML_314 11

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:14

I hope you didn't invest to much time,effort and money into that relationship. Take the opportunity and do some things you've always wanted to. :]

sexybitch92 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:18

Aww sorry op, well be glad she's your ex .. now you can move on to someone better..

minihoodehoo 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 13:24

go up to to her when she is with her boyfriend and say (thanks for the great sex last night) XD

Cheezcakes 0

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Friday 16 July 2010 20:26

just forget her she was a bitch :/

auttie_girl 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:16

Wow. But you know what, OP, you can do better, forget her.

Trollz4daLULZ 1

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 12:18

YDI for buying that bullshit about "taking a break". Anyone who says that is lying and/or fooling themselves; it's really over.

Sooniztimmy 0

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 17:49

Completely agree, saying I want a break is a pussy way of saying l am cheating on you and would would rather be with them.

deafeningsilence 8

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 18:10

exactly! a "break" means breakup. it's a "nice" way of telling you she wants to break up.

Cinn_fml 22

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Wednesday 14 July 2010 18:29

I don't get why the people who do it to be 'nice' think it's a nice thing to do. Why not just be direct/honest rather than letting the other person think there's still a vague chance?