By Anonymous - 14/02/2019 14:52 - United States - Hartford

Today, my girlfriend started bitching me out about how public proposals are unfair and how they pressure a girl to say yes. All I did was get on my knee to tie a loose shoelace. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 983
You deserved it 3 356

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Sounds like someone really doesn't want to marry you. If you're in this seriously, you might consider finding someone else who is serious, too.

There's a difference between saying, "I love you, sweetheart!" in public and the spectacle that public proposals cause. Suddenly the proposee is surrounded by strangers who are hanging on their every word and ready to judge or comment if they say no. That's a lot of pressure and not cool if public proposals/marriage in general isn't something that hasn't been discussed. It's not that hard to feel out if your loved one is someone who's against or for public proposals BEFORE you get on one knee.

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Sounds like someone really doesn't want to marry you. If you're in this seriously, you might consider finding someone else who is serious, too.

let's not get ahead of ourselves here. i'm not a girl, but in the moment of proposal there's lots of pressure as it is. i can understand her not wanting him to propose in public, it's some kind of stage-fear that i happen to have. plus, she obviously expects him to propose anytime, seeing that she assumed he was going to, when he went to tie a shoe lace. sorry for the rant.

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That is an utterly stupid statement. The idea that you can only have a serious relationship if you marry is a truly outdated idea, I know a lot of people who were in great relationships for years, happy as hell with who they were with, which was ruined the second they got married.

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Right, but crazy. I think that puts her back at zero. XD

God forbid somone loves you so much that they want to announce it in public that they want to be with you forever. That would be terrible...

There's a difference between saying, "I love you, sweetheart!" in public and the spectacle that public proposals cause. Suddenly the proposee is surrounded by strangers who are hanging on their every word and ready to judge or comment if they say no. That's a lot of pressure and not cool if public proposals/marriage in general isn't something that hasn't been discussed. It's not that hard to feel out if your loved one is someone who's against or for public proposals BEFORE you get on one knee.

To me, it depends on the person. Personally, I want my proposal to be intimate and just the two of us - nowhere that's super public and nothing that would draw much attention to passerby's - I'm just that kind of person. My friend, however, decided to pop the question during our graduation last year. The recipient loved it - whereas I would hate it because it singled me out and everyone would look at me, etc. Some people like it, some don't. To each their own, everyone's different. c:

I think 2 and OP's girlfriend have a point, even if it only applies to specific situations. If both parties have discussed marriage and agree that is what they want out of the relationship and are ready to commit, that's one situation (and the ideal one IMO). But some people try to do a spontaneous proposal to be romantic, which can be lovely, but if done in public it can put your SO on the spot. Although I think OP's girlfriend's reaction was definitely extreme and unwarranted. It might be beneficial to them both to have a discussion about long term relationship goals.

Any sane person who's ready to propose should have at least talked about marriage with their perspective partner. Unless you're a very reserved person, something public and on-the-spot should be welcomed. Not shunned.

28, yes, for some of us, it actually would be. The public proposal I had to turn down ranks as one of the most humiliating moments of my life.

no she's not. not for all women. it wouldn't pressure me.

I completely agree #47. If you really want to marry someone, the how and where they propose shouldn't even matter. People make waaaay too big a deal out of proposals and weddings..completely missing the point.

Thank you #59!!! The fact that somebody has just asked you to spend the rest of your lives together(or for weddings to celebrate that) is what matters. If you're so concerned with other people around you's opinions and views then you are always going to have issues no matter what it might be about or entail. My SO could propose on the top of the Eiffel tower, in a small coffee shop, or a fucking alley while we are getting jumped by naked homeless men. Who the fuck cares? YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO CARE. Yeesh

#61 there are people who don't like being put on the spot or being the center of attention and there's actually nothing wrong with that. If you really know someone well enough to marry them then you should know whether or not they would appreciate a public proposal. Also, it IS harder to say no if the proposal is so public and some people use that to manipulate their partners into saying yes. So it actually does matter

But what if I want to say no or want to think about my answer, #61? You can't honestly tell me that's not completely humiliating when you're surrounded by strangers screaming "Say yes!" and ready to boo you and call you a bitch if you dare to not be ready for marriage. If you're absolutely sure your partner is 1. fine with public proposals and 2. definitely, 100% going to say yes, go ahead. Otherwise it's cruel to put them on the spot like that and pressure them into saying yes.

No, it puts someone on the spot if they're proposed to in public. You automatically get called a cold bitch if you don't say yes and everyone thinks you're the bad guy, even though it's pretty much backing an animal into the corner

#71, where the hell do you live, that people scream "Say yes!" and boo at women who say no to public proposals? I mean, maybe I could see if it were a sports event or something, but OP was just on a sidewalk somewhere

I'm not a big public person. I secretly got permission from my wife's father to marry his daughter. Then surprised her on Christmas eve in front of her family. It was her one present she got to open. She loved it. And we have been together going on 5 years. To each their own. Just make it unique and something you know she loves.

And if you can't tell when your wife is ready for marriage then maybe you shouldn't be together in the first place. Women are the Queen of dropping hints. Just listen.

Well now you know how to do it but for someone who jumps to conclusions that fast, you should really think if you should first.

Haha, it is a good method to test a girl. If she says no, then you're saved by saying you were tieing your shoelaces. If its yes, you know you've got the right girl.

Did you clarify with her? You were just tying your shoe...

Before realizing the shoe lace situation, did she say yes?!

Life's cruel, man.

Lol, if I had a girlfriend who did that, I'd probably be single soon after. I refuse to accept that as reality.

And love is a cruel mistress

Thank you, Mistress! May I have another?

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If people did that we wouldn't have anything to read on here

Not true..there are other things to post about besides bad experiences in relationships

That's why you have the option to choose which categories to browse, #35.

I don't think you know what this app/site is about. Have you been hiding behind a rock?

I assume they did talk about it. It's just that this site wouldn't be very funny if the stories all ended with "Oh, but don't worry. We worked it out."

Well that was rather presumptuous of her.

I wonder why guys never complain when a girl gets on their knees but girls will of a guy does . Hmm .

I'd tell you but the truth is hard to swallow

Never hard to swallow.

I don't want to sound rude, but it seems like she was more than willing to reject you. It might be time to reconsider.

White lace or shoelace it doesn't matter. Still have to bend over.