By Z - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 669
You deserved it 35 470

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I suggest you start throwing tantrums, refusing to eat your veggies, and demanding bedtime stories. If you can't beat em, join em!

Talk to her like she is an old lady DO YOU UNDER....STAAAAAAAND miss

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Most definitely! Bitch alert, grow the fuck upp!

Seriously the first thought that came to mind, 'Fuck that bitch.'

She sounds more like a mom than a girlfriend. But if that's what it takes to get someone to listen so be it.

Cruelty is never a good method of changing someone's behavioral issues. Hitting a child (or an adult) causes more harm than good, and is not the answer.

Because everybody just loves dating their mother 17.

No, I think she should continue. OP admitted to behaving like one so he should be treated like one. What exactly is she going wrong here?

No, OP admitted nothing. He said his girlfriend declared that he was behaving like a child. What the girlfriend is doing is abuse, and I'm not just referring to hitting her boyfriend with a spoon. Abusive people will humiliate their partners in non violent ways too, and this is probably the most outrageous example I've ever heard. Nothing OP could have done would warrant this treatment, and if he did do something intolerable, then his girlfriend should dump him. OP needs to dump his abusive girlfriend before things get worse.

If she was my GF, I would have so much fun with this. I'd play the baby role along with her and drive her nuts. lol

Don't have kids with her if that's how she's going to treat a "3" year old like that--

If the OP was acting like a man in the first place, then she wouldn't have needed to give him this ultimatum in the first place. Or let's assume for a second that OP's girlfriend is a bitch and has no reason to have said this to him. A real man would have left her, not gone online to complain about it. Congrats on never having dated a manchild.

*never dating a manchild.* I worded that awkwardly.

I guarantee you she's been belittling and disrespecting OP for a long time, which is why he's learned to put up with this behavior. I agree with you, though,that he has no respect for himself if he tolerates this treatment. If he wants to get that self respect back he needs to dump his abusive partner. That's how I got my self respect back, and now I'm happier than ever, and I wonder why I put up with my ex husband's bull shit for so long.

"holy shit, my girlfriend said she'd hit my bum with a spoon if I acted my age. I must dump her, things incredibly disrespectful"... WHAT?! this is insane! if he's being lazy and incompetent then he should do something about it! his girlfriend could have screamed her head and kicked him out for good but she chose to go down the route of something that could be quite humorous. lighten up!

#67 -i fucking love your profile pic TWD

71, and just about everyone else, you're all assuming that OP really was being lazy and incompetent. You don't know that. Even if he was, the healthy way to handle it would be to discuss it with him, or, if that didn't work, yes, dump him. Hitting an adult is never appropriate, nor is belittling them with name calling or by patronizing them. Given the girlfriend's irrational behavior, I'd wager that SHE is the childish one, and that she lashed out at OP for something insignificant.

35, are you saying children shouldn't be disciplined?

you know just because it's on this website doesn't mean he was deeply hurt by this hilarious way to try and get her boyfriend to do something!

35- Who the hell are you, Mr. Rogers?

108, No one likes being disrespected. This is a blatant demonstration of disrespect.

108, you and others are assuming a lot that op is actually incompetent and lazy. FYI, making a declaration doesn't make it fact.

I agree with 71. But it really just depends on whether you get offended easily or not. Don't forget that we also don't know if the girlfriend acted harshly and in a seriously abusive way, as 117 put it, or if she was merely messing around with OP. I would assume that people in relationships would already be comfortable enough with making fun of each other. IMO, I don't think the OP really took it to heart since he probably wouldn't be posting his problems to this site if he was really concerned about an abusive relationship.

PS. For 117... when you say "hitting an adult is never appropriate" and talking about the girlfriend's disrespect for OP... have you never had a good-natured, humoured banter with another? I mean, I lightly hit my friends and push them around all the time, but never enough to cause physical harm mind you. Heck, they do it to me too and sometimes we call each other names when teasing! (gasp) Doesn't mean we don't respect each other though. Ya know what I mean? Just my 2 cents c:

47, OP's girlfriend isn't being abusive.. She's following through with what she told him she'd do. If he had such a problem with the way she was he would have either talked to her about it or dumped her already..

You are very smart and people obviously don't see that since the give you a

But it's ok to hit a child?

Says who? U are assuming that based on the way the girl stated stuff. But it could be wrong as well

135 that's probably the best profile pic I've ever seen. And I kinda agree with 117, or whatever number 135 replied to. I forget all the numbers.

I also agree with 135. Playful banter does not mean disrespect, but I'm not sure if this is playful banter. Either way, I'd take advantage of the situation and act like a toddler for at least a few days.

time to put her over your knee & spank her bare bottom...

But she might like that ;)

I think 3 was just fantasizing aloud. But it's still creepy as hell.

Talk to her like she is an old lady DO YOU UNDER....STAAAAAAAND miss

I don't understand

Why am I arguing with myself?

Cause master chief told you to.

If you don't feel like you're doing anything wrong then you should communicate with her. If that doesn't work then you should definitely break it off. Sounds as though she is a controlling bitch

Or she feels like this is the only way he will do anything about it. I recently got out of a relationship like that. He wouldn't get a job and would just lay around doing nothing all day. After a while of him not listening, you run out of options.

Well if that's the case, then OP's girlfriend should just dump him, not humiliate and abuse him.

When you love someone, it's difficult to just leave. You want to see them be successful so you try everything you can to help them do that, even if it means acting more like a mother than a girlfriend. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn't going to change anything and that I needed to put myself first and let him ruin his life on his own. This may be nothing like OP's situation, I'm definitely projecting here, but it's not completely unreasonable that the girlfriend would act that way.

We have no way of knowing if she is abusive or not. If she regularly belittles him like this, then yea it is abusive, but it could be that she just got fed up and snapped. We don't have enough info.

Sounds like a fetish....

It is technically a fetish. I personally think its odd (but people would think my latex fetish is odd, so I cant judge) when a man/woman dresses and acts like a baby. There is no sexual pleasure given (normally) during this time. It's just something he/she enjoys doing. Receiving punishment, being coddled.

Latex fetish?

Is she going to breast feed you too?

Why put up with that? Unless you have unresolved mommy issues. --Taboo

7, who ever said he "put up with it"? If your read the FML carefully, this isn't a re-telling of past events; this was OP's gf warning him.

I suggest you start throwing tantrums, refusing to eat your veggies, and demanding bedtime stories. If you can't beat em, join em!

Ask if you can breast feed :D ah yeah

Hide all the spoons.

Start asking to be breast fed ;D Freaking ninjad -__-

I would be more convinced by your declaration of "ninjad" if it weren't five minutes difference.

If it wasn't for the fact that baiamare probably sat for 10 min. trying to come up with a snappy comment..