Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had... - FML

By believe me now?? - 22/1/2016 20:55 - United Kingdom - Ilkeston

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

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Drinking is bad for you, most of the time

Goodbye Bill

Don't give up

By Anonymous - 28/5/2013 23:01 - United States - El Paso

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

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By Ugh - 22/8/2017 23:15

Today, I got a job offer and was asked to come in at 5am for training. I sat there for about 2 hours before giving up. I was at the wrong site. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/4/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

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By Zitty - 12/7/2009 18:18 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML

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By snathans - 13/4/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

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By feeldumb - 11/6/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I got into an argument with a 7 year old. He said that Obama was the 44th President, I said he was the 42nd. Guess who was right. FML

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By GreatParenting - 26/7/2015 22:47 - United States - Nampa

Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML

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By Brittany - 28/3/2012 02:38 - United States - Kerrville

Today, I failed my driving test. I rammed into the parallel parking poles, ran a stop sign, and stopped at a cross intersection. My instructor called me an idiot. FML

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By embarassinggg - 6/2/2013 18:57 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

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By Apissedoffguy - 3/6/2012 15:20 - United States - Brockton

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 23:28 - United States

Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because "I shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML

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By anona - 8/7/2014 16:29 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

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By Nick - 14/7/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML

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By RIP - 7/10/2012 18:34 - Finland - Espoo

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

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By highlydisgusted - 16/10/2013 03:10 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/12/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

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By farksh - 7/3/2015 12:14 - Australia

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

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By EggBomb - 1/12/2016 18:22

Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/9/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML

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By wrongtarget - 21/10/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I got chewed out at work when my supervisor showed up, because my coworkers told my supervisor they couldn't find me for an hour and a half. Why couldn't they find me? Because they'd left to go get coffee. FML

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By Noname - 24/2/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

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By hawaiiansokkrboi - 19/4/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I was practicing soccer at my school. My team was practicing penalty kicks. It was my turn up and this cute girl that I like was watching off ten feet away from the goal. I was running to take the kick when I slipped and kicked the ball. It hit her head and now she won't talk to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/8/2010 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell down the stairs while reading the 'mind your step' sign. FML

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By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

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By theassman - 11/3/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

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By I was talking about her. - 29/6/2016 05:24

Today, a lady called the candy store and wanted to know our ice cream flavors. We have 30 and I had a line of people to help, so I directed her to our new website. She called back, wanting me to walk her through finding it. I couldn't, as we're not allowed, so she called me useless. She showed up. FML

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By fatpreggo - 7/8/2009 20:14 - United States

Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8lbs through the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms. "well it looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML

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By Miss_Kat - 29/8/2019 00:01

Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML

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By Vahootie - 3/3/2009 01:57 - United States

Today, my parents refused to visit me at college because "the flights are too expensive." They are currently shopping for a new car to replace my mother's two-year-old Porsche. FML

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By ohsnap - 22/1/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

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By JLD - 11/10/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

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By Sudokori - 29/8/2017 20:00

A Dog's Love = Priceless

Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/9/2014 15:03 - United States - Chelan

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

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By Cherie - 7/12/2010 18:25 - United States

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

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By Death By Parent - 19/7/2014 22:38 - United States

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

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By Whatthe - 18/4/2017 20:00

Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML

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By anon_smh - 18/2/2016 04:37 - United States - Bozeman

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

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By - 24/12/2019 18:00

Just a formality

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

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By sandwichmaker - 17/7/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/3/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML

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Top comments

By chevygirl23 | 17

#6517775 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:28

And now she'll bitch at your for this one

By NotPatSajak | 11

#6517773 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:27

You probably are better off with someone who DOESNT flip shit over an FML.

COMMENTS

By bigbrown24 | 17

#6517769 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:26

she's a little crazy

Reply

awildwhisper | 30

#6517796 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:51

I hate people jumping to conclusions. Why don't people just ask if they are suspicious of something?

By NotPatSajak | 11

#6517773 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:27

You probably are better off with someone who DOESNT flip shit over an FML.

Reply

yenze | 18

#6517779 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:32

And the "dump her" comments begin

By chevygirl23 | 17

#6517775 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:28

And now she'll bitch at your for this one

Reply

walid820014 | 20

#6517862 - Saturday 23 January 2016 11:45

thats what i thought

Reply

cheeeksss | 29

#6517897 - Saturday 23 January 2016 14:12

Unsure if that was OP's intention though, because of his username.

Reply

Redgy22 | 25

#6518043 - Saturday 23 January 2016 18:56

Yeah, this was a lose-lose move. ...or an elaborate strategy by OP to cover his tracks. hmmmm

By yenze | 18

#6517776 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:29

Posting this FML probably will not make things better

By sabby7 | 17

#6517781 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:36

I really don't get people

By HotFrosty | 14

#6517782 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:36

I have a hard time with people blaming me for stuff I didn't do. I hope do a better job of handling this then I. Good luck.

By Kartar115 | 22

#6517784 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:36

you should have showed her your fml account to prove it wasn't you

Reply

whysobeachy | 37

#6517861 - Saturday 23 January 2016 11:45

And what if the FML in question was posted by 'Anonymous'?

Reply

kbecks87 | 16

#6517884 - Saturday 23 January 2016 13:21

I hate the idea of 'here, look through my personal accounts to satisfy your made up belief of my wrongdoings'. Relationships are built on trust, if she has to go through your things to find comfort, she does not trust you.

By MDoremis | 38

#6517785 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:36

I feel like you're intentionally trying to provoke a reaction from her now.

Reply

MurielWeathers | 9

#6518035 - Saturday 23 January 2016 18:40

How? He is venting his frustration, and sharing something fucked up that happened to him whether or not it was because of this site. The site is called FML Fuck My Life, after all.

Reply

soullyfe | 33

#6518073 - Saturday 23 January 2016 19:38

@50: Probably because of the title name he decided to use could be reason enough to assume that much...

Reply

corky1992 | 33

#6518075 - Saturday 23 January 2016 19:38

Because after she accused him of not having the balls to say something about her to her face he resorted to bitching about her to strangers just like she recently accused him of doing. So seeing this post will just make her even more mad.

By aruden | 25

#6517788 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:39

Nice tactical move OP post your side of the story on FML for her to read. hope it all works out.

Reply

Marcella1016 | 29

#6517790 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:42

Lmao I was thinking something similar...then I read his username. Hahahaha very tactical indeed. Can't wait for the follow up on this one.

By rhiley | 26

#6517794 - Saturday 23 January 2016 8:48

why would you post this tho

Reply

N3766 | 20

#6517812 - Saturday 23 January 2016 9:12

to fuck his life?