By dumped - 10/03/2011 21:42 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 408
You deserved it 4 006

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She doubled her relief

That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.

Comments

He got dumped. Literally!!!!

i would have ran to the baffroom and started taking a poo

I would say she was most likely having sex with another person, probably a guy, while she was on the phone breaking up with you. as this would explain the grunting and maybe splashing. unless she was moving a bathtub full of water. could go either way...

dmars she was taking a dump. grunting and straining and then he heard the shit splash into the toilet bowl.

"baffroom"? this FML sounds kinda shitty though. i dont think i can take much more of this crap. its a load of bullshit.

Thats a double dump for ya!

she sure as hell DUMPED u all right, teehee a poop joke.

that's a load of crap!

Op, was your ex a Chris Brown fan? She must be since she gave you the deuces!

a shitty situation if you ask me

that's disgusting! clearly she has no class at all. you're well rid of her.

gotta catch em all

if she dumped you like that you must have acted like "shit". I bet you now feel like crap. O!

Shitty phone call...

well at least you know why she dumped you

oops didn't mean to post tht comment

She doubled her relief

Damn. That win is a win?

yes that win is WINNING

So #3 is bi-winning??? :)

103. xDD 3 is a total bitchin' rockstar from Mars.

Everyone here just won. Except OP lol

#103 maybe even tri-winning. xD

no this stopped being funny. TMZ said so 

103 Charlie sheen reference ftw

That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.

Hai guise! This is my telescope/camera shit and I'm a faggot!

NO...EPIC FAIL. : l [dry stare] blink..blink..

Oh I get it.... DUMP-ed!! haha, good one

Boo, you beat me to it. It's been a crappy day for me.

hahaha FUNNY tht stinks

Stop trying to make these puns people. They're really shitty. -.-

I agree with 190. These puns are crap.

Well that sure does stink.

yea sounds like op had a phony relationship with a shitty girlfriend

that's how much you meaned to her!

Caulfim, if you're going to be a dick, English has a capital "E".

Cole, if your gonna be a douche and correct him...well you can just go smd.

^If you're going to comment, then you should probably understand the difference between " your" (possessive) and "you're" (contraction). ---------------------------- Meaned? HAHAHAHA. Only on FML will you see something like this.

no. get over it. your-you're it's just a website! jeesh, we all get that

COMBO-BREAKER!! haha sorry

-at 127- the Grammar Nazis and Spelling Spetsnaz are pleased with your comments.

183 -- i think that the grammar nazis should take on a new moniker -- the grammar gru. that way, it is in keeping with the alliterative theme -- ya know, grammar gru, spelling spetsnaz, syntax syndicate, etc. |the kid|

you do realize that metaphorically, u were that dump...that she strained, crapped out and flushed?! dude, she ate fiber the night b4 and set this all up! Ur Special!

hahaha...that's funny!!

186 is a win!! nobody got that but me I think.. :( now I feel like a nerd.

172. You are a douche. Your mistake was preventible, and you sound like even more of a douche because you had to make up an excuse. Don't blame technology for your inability. Have you not heard the term "A bad tradesman blames his tools"

173, the preventable mistake was not the reason you are a dick. Completely uncorrelated. Js.

I'm calling bullshit on this one. Everyone knows girls don't poop.

this joke is not funny anymore

My jokes are always funny. Always. Even when they are moderated.

Sorry cheeksMcgeeks; men must never know the truth.

damn i missed that.. everything good is always moderated

what did it say?

Sirin, parle-vous Francais? Just a quick off-topic question. I want to move to France and wonder how is it there if you don't mind answering. Merci beaucoup. :)

that isn't random Duy.

that's how much you mean to her! 

You sort of missed one important detail.

This is not where I commented...

I didn't even mean to post the one above. : p

so she cheated on u and broke up with u at the same time...suckz

sorry didn't mean to post that*

Did it seem like a good idea at the time or something? How do you accidentally post a coherent comment?

She was cheating with her poop?

She was taking a shit.

cheating? she was takin a dump

this person thought the girl was having sex. cause of the grunting and straining sounds..

"Oh... oh, yeah... OH! UGH! AH! SHIIIIT! Shit, shit, shit... ah, yeah.. ah..."

well my first thought was she was having sex in a hot tub

how do we know she wasn't in the bathtub banging some other guy?? hmm....?

OH! THANK YOU 114! so missed that, but yes! my thoughts too

that is what I thought at first too

no she dumped him while taking a dump

I'm pretty sure she was crapping.