By Acolyte of the Bacon God - 15/02/2013 19:50 - United States - Fort Myers

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 053
You deserved it 10 371

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Perhaps, since she 'finally' agreed to it, she just wasn't ready? Or, perhaps your performance was also uninspiring to her.

So you fantasized about eating sticks? Are you sure you didn't enjoy it for another reason?

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Cheer up, it gets better.

Yes, at Olive Garden.

Olive Garden has some mighty good bread sticks though, you gotta admit... They are fantasy worthy

Yeah, the first time usually isn't fun...

My first time was amazing.. I didn't get Olive Garden after though :(

No olive garden after!?!? Your life and needs has been ignored.

My first time, i was watching TV 70% of it, but still no olive garden after, although i did have TGI fridays to follow

Perhaps, since she 'finally' agreed to it, she just wasn't ready? Or, perhaps your performance was also uninspiring to her.

That's a nice way to put it

Seriously. What an asshole. If a woman is going to give you that part of her body to use for personal pleasure the least you can do is not complain about it.

hey, when sex is good, its great, and even if is bad, its still pretty damn nice.

#85 So people can't have opinions?. Oh, and this works both ways of gender btw.

Must be hard being the savage

So you fantasized about eating sticks? Are you sure you didn't enjoy it for another reason?

Hey, have you had oliver garden bread sticks before? I'll shove those warm shafts down my throat any day

Having lived in Austria for almost a year now, I can tell you the thought of eating Olive Garden's unlimited breadsticks gives me a raging hard-on.

I'm noticing a lot of "finally's" in this FML. It might suggest that she's not really ready and her heart wasn't in it? I'm sure it'll get better with time though if you both stick at it.

I couldn't agree with you more. Nothing makes sex more awkward and unfulfilling than when one has been pressured into it. Especially when it's a first time. There's a lot of pressure on females sexually. To do it, and not to do it. Having someone you care about being all inpatient makes sex SUCK.

Actually, it could stand to use more, as in: Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to finally have sex with me, finally.

@33 >Having someone you care about being all inpatient makes sex SUCK Indeed, being in the hospital makes sex suck. You often can't get some privacy since there's staff constantly coming in the room and walking past. Then, there's the fact that hospital beds are really uncomfortable. Sometimes the injury or illness is severe enough that sex is not possible or not desired. Inpatient treatment is the pits.

But the outpatient sex can be awesome

you are totally right. my boyfriend never pressured me into sex although he wanted it. and he didn't complain once in the nine months he had to wait. it that time he gained my trust, love etc. and he agrees that it was worth the waitingtime. he complains now, 4 years later, about how hard it was for him, though, but in a joking way.

Mmmmmmm. Can't blame you. Those breadsticks rule!!!

But only with the zuppa Tuscana

Red lobster's cheesy biscuits are better:D

I love those bread sticks!

Give her a break for it being her first time, but some women are horrible sexually.

As are some men. Maybe OP is the problem.

It didn't say she was a virgin prior to this incident. Besides, communication in a relationship is best, talk to her about it, if you don't say anything she will assume nothing was bad.

Op your username is hilarious.!

Focus, young Jedi. Do, or Do Not. There is no Try.

Next time incorporate some breadsticks in the "deed" for some oral warm up. >D

Oooh! And Alfredo sauce! Gotta have the Alfredo sauce!

Yes! That's my favorite! :)