Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress... - FML

By - France

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up with her clothes, with wig and makeup. FML

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Coherence dude, do you have it?

Instadrama

Narcissistic parents FTW

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to spend £200 at the dentist for fillings and repairs to my teeth. Why do I need them? Because I'm stressed about money and grind my teeth in the night because of it. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/1/2021 11:01

Renters' rights

Today, I’m a student renting a room in an old lady’s house. The other lodger, who arrived a few weeks later, hates my guts now because my room has a tiny old TV and hers doesn’t. It wasn’t even my choice to take this room, it was decided by the landlady. But sure, I’m an evil, TV-hogging bitch. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

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By Username - France

Today, I was nervous as hell for my driving test. The instructor told me to drive a straight line in reverse. I forgot to put the car in reverse from drive and drove straight into a parked vehicle. Which happened to be owned by the instructor. FML

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By leilei - Philippines

Today, I refused to ride with a friend on a motorcycle because it is unsafe and went to take the bus. As I got off the bus, I got hit by a speeding motorcycle and ended up in hospital. FML

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By chicochico - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

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By um... what the fuck, miss? - United Kingdom

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

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By ouch

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

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By - 14/6/2020 02:02

Risky business

Today, I went to get insurance and I have a non-fault third party claim and yet my insurance has gone up. I wasn't even in the car when someone hit it. Why have I got penalised? They claim I'm now "statistically more likely to get in an accident." My car was parked. FML

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By sufia - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

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By Karlo Kračun - 9/7/2020 08:08

Poor Mr Nibbles

Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML

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By oh for f*cks sake - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/11/2020 03:31 - India - Bangalore

Don't hate the player…

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who insisted that I go with him to his friend's house party to meet people and socialize, as I'm new to the city. When I got there, I realised he had invited two other girls as his date as well. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

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By Raspution

Today, I received my first customer complaint. It said, "I am a regular customer and when I come in, he is always smiling and tells me he will see me soon when I leave. This makes me feel very uncomfortable." Now I'm under investigation for sexual harassment. FML

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By wtfuraretard - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Shawnee

Especially for dad

Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML

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By BikerGuy - Canada - Alhambra

Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML

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By Felinefine - United Kingdom - South Petherton

Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML

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By 12incher - United States

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Medina

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

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By PhD student - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I worked from home to actually be able to concentrate and make a presentation about my project. My boss then sends me a long email about how he wants us to work in the office, and how important it is for team building, giving me feelings of guilt for actually getting some work done. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/9/2020 05:01 - Italy

Statistics

Today, I found out that my 7 friends, with a total of 23 past boyfriends in 11 years, have had 0 orgasms during sex. As someone whose sex ed was basically porn, it felt like finding out Santa wasn't real, but worse. FML

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By mikuxxhatsune - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I was the organist for a wedding. I had practiced for weeks, rehearsed with the choir many times and spent hours stressing. During the wedding march, the electric organ malfunctioned, adding on layers of random notes I didn't play. Guess who got yelled at afterwards. FML

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By Randy - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

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By sohungry - India

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

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By Hlaalette - Belgium

Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML

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By probably single - Denmark - Gram

Today, my girlfriend bought two tickets for a cruise to the Bahamas. Too bad the second ticket isn't for me. I guess her ex-boyfriend will have a wonderful time with her. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/4/2021 00:30 - Netherlands

Take what you can get

Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML

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By embarrassment - Canada

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

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By mikalovernj - 27/11/2020 14:02

Pets are life

Today, my neighbor asked me to check in on his pet. When I went into his house, I couldn't find any animals. I searched all over, and finally gave up and called him. I asked him what type of pet he had. His response? "My pet rock, Stubby." That's right, I just spent some time looking for a rock. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

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By fedupson - United States - Milpitas

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

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By UnluckyTh1rteen - 27/8/2020 14:19 - United States - New York

Just a friend

Today, my boyfriend went to get coffee with a friend. As a joke, I texted him to ask how his date with his other girlfriend was going. It really was a date, and apparently it went very well. FML

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By fishyrael

What he is thinking?

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Gorebridge

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

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Top comments

By Taihen | 0

#7532 - Thursday 26 February 2009 4:27

Do it! I totally love it when my bf wears my clothes. Given, he's never worn a wig and make-up, but I wouldn't turn it down! sad thing is, he looks better in my clothes than I do...

By seabass32 | 0

#1453617 - Friday 24 September 2010 22:38

lmao. i think a lot of girls have the desire to do the same or something similar with their boyfriends. i'll admit that i do. you should do it, since she asked you to i'm guessing she would find it fun and adorable. who doesn't love a guy that is willing to make a fool of himself and is able to laugh at himself to get his girlfriend to smile and spend time with her?

p.s. to anybody who disagrees with me, read each word i wrote and think before you say something stupid.

COMMENTS

By Jenh42391 | 0

#5608 - Monday 23 February 2009 3:01

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By Taihen | 0

#7532 - Thursday 26 February 2009 4:27

Do it! I totally love it when my bf wears my clothes. Given, he's never worn a wig and make-up, but I wouldn't turn it down! sad thing is, he looks better in my clothes than I do...

Reply

lovely_day | 0

#976127 - Thursday 8 April 2010 3:55

hahahahahahahahaha

Reply

mds9986 | 24

#6312078 - Saturday 6 June 2015 8:30

Are you sure you like guys?

By elfknight | 0

#10755 - Monday 2 March 2009 8:04

Crap, if it weirds you out give her my SN and I'll set something up with her.

By Mikey83 | 0

#10927 - Monday 2 March 2009 14:02

My GF loves it when I do. do it you pussy!

By Sofa_King | 0

#23311 - Monday 9 March 2009 19:09

Sounds HOT! I can only wish my girlfriend would want something like this... :)

By prettysad0_0 | 0

#33409 - Sunday 15 March 2009 23:38

why the fuck would you put this on fmylife.com? like seriously, you sound like a tool. no one cares that your girlfriend wants to play a little dress-up. if you seriously are thinking "fuck my life" cuz of THIS, then you have some serious issues coming up in the near future.

By member0987654321 | 0

#39507 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 5:23

wtf why?

By knitbitch | 0

#56342 - Wednesday 25 March 2009 0:38

JUST DO IT!

By linshenjie321 | 0

#59241 - Thursday 26 March 2009 4:35

DUDE
YOU SHOULD SO TOTALLY DO IT!

Reply

tin_cup | 27

#6582989 - Monday 18 April 2016 17:54

I totally agree!

By 3daysgrace | 0

#84495 - Sunday 5 April 2009 18:22

why should he do it?

Reply

fakkumairaifu | 14

#378868 - Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:17

1.) It'll make his girlfriend happy.
2.) He might discover he likes it.

What's to lose?