Love: Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 03:19 - United States - Scottsbluff

Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 272

You deserved it 4 405

Good kid

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Nightmare mother

By signinept - 18/09/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed to come every 10 minutes. After a few minutes of waiting, I realized the "bus stop" was really a no parking sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 287

You deserved it 49 793

By reckless182 - 27/07/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 040

You deserved it 13 283

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 19:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 809

You deserved it 10 853

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By MistofAvalon - 24/04/2020 14:00

Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 271

By jayscalaro - 21/04/2019 20:00

Today, it's raining pretty hard and there are a bunch of puddles everywhere. I’m in a full rain suit and great boots, so instead of walking around the puddles, I decided to walk through the biggest one, only to drop down 4 feet, all because the city didn’t cover up a massive manhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 353

You deserved it 955

By HansonLUVR - 12/03/2009 00:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 185

You deserved it 79 016

By ThreeTimesUnlucky - 17/10/2012 18:52 - South Africa - Edenvale

Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 007

You deserved it 2 178

By one_BAMF - 25/07/2010 05:06 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 356

You deserved it 42 085

Hey Scratchy!

By Anonymous - 03/09/2019 18:00

Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 162

By lauz - 03/10/2009 12:20 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 769

You deserved it 4 165

Good catch

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 23:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 523

You deserved it 90 668

By Anon - 27/02/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 640

You deserved it 2 927

By Singleforever - 08/08/2016 12:40 - United States - West Hartford

Today, I finally matched with someone on Tinder after using it for a month. I sent a message and they unmatched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 075

You deserved it 1 209

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 19:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 151

You deserved it 4 108

Congrats?

By KortniiE - 23/03/2021 20:01

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years proposed without a ring. He told me he would get it once his divorce papers are final. I didn't know he was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 18:02

Today, my boss tried to fire me for not emailing him a screenshot to prove my email wasn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 953

You deserved it 1 312

By anti88 - 01/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I reached the point in my life where Target is the "expensive" store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 987

You deserved it 4 520

The UK is a mess

By Zeruda - 16/10/2021 16:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, the metropolitan police told women to "flag a bus" if we don't feel safe with a lone male officer. Because that'll work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 77

By James - 22/07/2011 05:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 776

You deserved it 12 050

By small dick energy - 02/05/2019 04:00

Today, I found out just how much of a psychotically insecure nitwit my boyfriend is. He flew into a screaming rage that I was only adding cucumbers to my water and my meals lately to insinuate that he has a small penis. Yeah, I’m confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 223

By disappoint - 08/12/2011 09:14 - United States

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 014

You deserved it 3 762

By Anonymous - 19/03/2019 08:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I've reached a level of tired I didn't think was possible. I've had less than 3 hours sleep in the last 72 hours and have not slept more than 20 minutes each stretch because my newborn is so unsettled. The baby has been peacefully sleeping for the last 3 hours and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 261

By kdeeeceee - 05/11/2011 07:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 274

You deserved it 49 921

By unit - 07/07/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 845

You deserved it 39 935

By Nofreeride - 28/01/2017 18:00

Today, after arguing with my husband over who needed the car more, I thought he clearly won. As the loser, I spent the day walking everywhere. Later, I learned that he thought I'd won and left the car in our apartment parking garage for me while he took the bus to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 891

You deserved it 2 055

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 958

You deserved it 11 994

Mysterious

By Wifewithquestions - 26/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I found male enhancers hidden in the back of the car, which I'm assuming are my husband's, but we haven't been having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 583

You deserved it 337

By Byepax - 06/03/2015 14:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 051

You deserved it 45 513

By Anonymous - 11/06/2018 20:30

Today, while riding to the skate park, I noticed a gorgeous blonde walking towards me. She gave me a smile as I passed so I turned and looked behind me to get a second glance. I rode my BMX straight into a light pole in front of a pub patio full of people. She saw it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 3 439

By Scorned Employee - 02/01/2012 03:38 - United States

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 979

You deserved it 7 585

Oh, hi grandma!

By Ashes to ashes - 16/10/2020 05:01

Today, I woke up to what seemed like dirt on my face. Not dirt. It was cremated remains. My memory charm had broken open in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 297

By Harry - 13/05/2014 22:37 - United States - Milledgeville

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 776

You deserved it 8 270

By yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 107

You deserved it 4 974

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was supposed to start my vacation in Italy. I guess not everyone heard that I canceled it due to health problems, because this morning I caught two of my "friends" unplugging my TV after breaking into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 1 720

By FuturePolice - 23/01/2012 09:56 - United States

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 460

You deserved it 3 491

Where is everyone?

By Anonymous - 04/12/2019 20:00

Today, I tried to have a game night at my house. Suggesting a popular card game that everyone plays, snacks, and BYOB. No one showed or even said they weren't coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 213

You deserved it 168

By sickatwokr - 30/06/2015 20:26 - Australia

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 832

You deserved it 1 837

Nature hates me

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 05:00

Today, we all know how terrible those long, silent farts can be, right? Especially when they’re coming from your expensive, self-inflating air mattress, and you’re just about the farthest distance from home on a bikepacking trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 28/12/2012 17:33 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 180

You deserved it 4 276

By Anonymous - 16/09/2010 04:12 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 224

You deserved it 4 499

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Saturday 9 August 2014 16:41

That's understandable since websites like that are 100% realistic.

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Saturday 9 August 2014 16:40

Don't worry, it's only a website.

Comments

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Saturday 9 August 2014 16:40

Don't worry, it's only a website.

Send a private message

Saturday 9 August 2014 16:41

Not to mention that isn't really how genetics works lol

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Saturday 9 August 2014 17:28

Technology. The destroyer of relationships.

Mystery_Unsolved 16

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Saturday 9 August 2014 17:39

Tell her that technology could never reflect the true beauty that she possesses and her kids are going to inherit it.

iseebearbears 27

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Saturday 9 August 2014 18:29

For some reason I don't think that's the real issue here.

deedeedeniel 17

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Saturday 9 August 2014 20:16

You know what some people say, two beautiful people make an ugly baby but I'm sure the child on the screen was still very adorable

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Wednesday 13 August 2014 12:08

#35 who the fuck said that?

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Saturday 9 August 2014 16:41

That's understandable since websites like that are 100% realistic.

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Saturday 9 August 2014 19:02

I agree, my Caucasian boyfriend merged his face with a cartoon apple and created the most beautiful African American child I've ever seen. Just like you would expect.

Dre27 20

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Saturday 9 August 2014 16:42

If your actual kids aren't cute enough for her liking, what happens?

SmoothPancakes 10

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Saturday 9 August 2014 17:52

She takes half his money and sticks him with child support payments for 18 years.

Godsofdracos 15

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Saturday 9 August 2014 19:52

If they aren't cute enough for her liking I doubt she's taking the kid.

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Saturday 9 August 2014 16:45

Then don't have kids

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Saturday 9 August 2014 16:45

Yeah, cause those websites are *so* realistic...

RenoTheRhino 30

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Saturday 9 August 2014 16:45

That website is probably not a good representation of what your children might look like.

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Sunday 10 August 2014 5:55

Yeah, its probably just one of those face morph websites but with a baby's body

qdawg06 23

Saturday 9 August 2014 16:52

I've always wondered if people like their kids more if they're cute... Sorry OP.

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Saturday 9 August 2014 18:32

studies have shown that parents tend to pay more attention to their more attractive children.

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Sunday 10 August 2014 0:45

Well… damn. I'm an only child so my dad's forced to only pay attention to me.

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Sunday 10 August 2014 4:44

26 I'd like to see those studies

MissStephanie 10

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Sunday 10 August 2014 7:21

I wouldn't doubt it's true #47, it's just in our nature to be more drawn to attractive people as an instinct to keep the gene pool strong. Obviously your not going to be attracted to your child but the same rule applies as a way we identify people.

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Sunday 10 August 2014 15:34

Aww. I wonder how Khloe and Kylie deal with that.

weveallbeenthere 30

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Saturday 9 August 2014 16:53

just tell us how stupid she really is.

hopingforluck 10

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Saturday 9 August 2014 17:01

lol that website not 100% can predict children's face that you both would hv

youdontknowme24 12

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Saturday 9 August 2014 17:01

Run my man Run

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 4

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, at the age of 25, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero sexual desire. All this time, I thought you had to have sex first before developing a sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 6

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 143