1800-choke dat hoe

Tell her that all she is to you is a piece of meat with emotions. It's sure to smooth out the breakup.

#9, That would only hurt if she cared about OP, which apparently she doesn't. OP would be more hurtful to her by saying she's ugly and lousy in bed, because clearly such shallow matters are the only things she cares about.

OP could say that the only way he gets off in bed is by thinking about her sister/BFF/mother or somebody else along those lines.

Or he could burn everything she owns with a can of gas and a lighter!!!!!! (insert evil laugh of your choice here)

"LeedleLeedleLeedle"

Tell her she's an overly-complicated life support system for a vagina you like to occasionally use.

Na OP should wear a clown costume, honk a giant horn and give her a fortune cookie break up note

You should be happy that you're considered a dildo,

Correction: OP should be happy that he has a good friend

Im just wondering why his girlfriend, hopefully now his ex, would admit to his best friend that? She is the biggest idiot if she thought he/she wouldn't tell him. *face palm*

Yeah makes me suspicious of his best friend

She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice

That's assuming she thinks he's a good dildo

Ok nobody is saying it. OP is a needy little bitch. That's what she means by "all the emotions" !!

She's probably assuming that ops head is the tip

Honestly the way he is being used has more pros than cons

Looks like she has her priorities straight

That was sarcasm; a joke. She doesn't have her priorities straight, obviously.

You don't say?

At least she still considers that you're good in bed?

Sounds like you need a new girlfriend

Well, that's degrading.

At least you have a loyal friend.

And here we were thinking that men were shallow ass holes who use others for their bodies. Turns out women can be as douchie as men. HOORAY EQUALITY!!! :D I knew that whole women's lob thing would pan out one day!

Women's lob. I know it's a typo, but it does seem like she needs a lobotomy

lol! Yeah, I meant women's *lib, but I like your idea too!

This comment was brilliant! I am female and I approve this equality statement. :P

Any real feminist knows women are just as capable of being assholes and shallow as men are!

Don't need to be a feminist to know it, just admit it ;)

they just exploit how wrong it is when men do it. hell, a man will be insulted if he's raped!

yeah well...as long as you think in categories like 'typical men/women' you wont get your equality ;-) Im a woman and i know very well how 'douchie' women can be...because humans can be assholes.

Are you sure she wasn't joking? Buy her a dildo and see if she breaks up with you!

Do you realize how expensive a dildo is these days? :p

They're as low as 17.99$ at SpencersOnline!

I'm not gonna ask how you know this. *if you know what I mean.*

9.99 on Amazon. not that I would know or anything....

Just make sure they weren't already used... I mean unless you're in to that