Today, my garage got broken into and someone stole my $3000 bike....

By XxrudyxX - Canada - Fort Saskatchewan

Today, my garage got broken into and someone stole my $3000 bike. I bought it a month ago while I recovered from a knee injury. I just got enough strength 2 days ago to ride it. I've only ridden it once. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2866

You deserved it

205

Favorite

Money

Transportation

Understanding

Dicks aplenty!

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, this guy I've been "seeing" for a year said he didn't want to share my birthday with me because he doesn't want us to get serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29503

You deserved it

3907

Favorite

By Sleeping moody - United States - Hollywood

Today I went to my sleep therapist; I sleep 8 hours a night, but I'm still very tired during the day. I'm divorced, so we decided that I would record myself sleeping to see if I might be snoring. We listened to the tape. Not only was I snoring very loudly, I cry all night in my sleep. FM

I agree, your life sucks

18311

You deserved it

1037

Favorite

By marmarr - United States

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said "turn around" it was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11477

You deserved it

70608

Favorite

By roughsexgonewrong - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48098

You deserved it

11543

Favorite

By blk8764 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store when an elderly woman walked up to me and said, "Why can't every guy be as handsome as you?" I would have been flattered by the comment, if I was a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39466

You deserved it

4760

Favorite

By Joey - United States - Reno

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21780

You deserved it

2344

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, at my graduation for my high school GED, my parents said they were getting all my family and my girlfriend together. So we all went out to a steakhouse down the road, everyone ordered steaks. Turns out the 'surprise' was me paying. I only got 50$ grad money, and the bill was 159.98. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60737

You deserved it

4969

Favorite

By batman - 4/7/2020 02:02

How do magnets work?

Today, I found out I was qualified to go to a magnet school. My mom threw the papers away, claiming she thinks I shouldn't be with "rich and snobby" people. She grew up as a rich snob and has a fortune waiting for her when her parents die, and she brags about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1526

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42425

You deserved it

5333

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39073

You deserved it

3036

Favorite

By Thanh Quang

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40489

You deserved it

14769

Favorite

By momoftheyearedition - United States - Landenberg

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25501

You deserved it

2326

Favorite

By just physical - Canada - Sarnia

Today, in an attempt to break up with my boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31273

You deserved it

10330

Favorite

By Great - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68638

You deserved it

6239

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Havelock

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40431

You deserved it

6391

Favorite

By Professor FacePalm - United Kingdom

Today, the police gave me a ticket for obstructing a loading bay as the vehicle "was not parked within the loading bay markings". I couldn't get the vehicle fully into the loading bay because there was a police vehicle in the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9284

You deserved it

693

Favorite

By bmonehh - United States

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45284

You deserved it

3469

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21279

You deserved it

2950

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35790

You deserved it

3792

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Edgecliff

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35966

You deserved it

2874

Favorite

By SkeetinKeaton - United States

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58925

You deserved it

14463

Favorite

By a - United States

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23601

You deserved it

4199

Favorite

By powsser - United States

Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61277

You deserved it

5651

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34158

You deserved it

5527

Favorite

By trbaby - United States - El Cajon

Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6663

You deserved it

517

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Columbia City

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house after working a night shift. The door was locked and, so I wouldn't wake his parents, I called him. Twelve times. Each call went to voicemail and I was left standing outside in the freezing rain until he finally let me in. What was he doing? Playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6729

You deserved it

1111

Favorite

By Lizziebelle - United States - Seattle

Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9743

You deserved it

741

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

79535

You deserved it

6024

Favorite

By oktober2nd - United States - Beaverton

Today, I woke up for the first time In 5 days with relief from a debilitating migraine, only to have my arm and shoulder completely numb and a sharp pain running from my neck to my elbow. I have a pinched nerve and dislocated disk in my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2197

You deserved it

123

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Southwold

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31282

You deserved it

2511

Favorite

By HorrorByrd - Canada

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45933

You deserved it

14148

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45195

You deserved it

4609

Favorite

By bittersweet - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

I agree, your life sucks

659896

You deserved it

71657

Favorite

By watchyoself - United States - Miami

Today, my boyfriend had the very expensive watch he got me for Xmas resized. I dropped it trying to put it on and shattered the glass. The warranty won't cover it because of the adjustments made. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8781

You deserved it

1381

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Prince Albert

Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41762

You deserved it

9735

Favorite

By Anonymous - Brazil - Itaja?

Today, my father is really enjoying the iPhone my mother gave him for Christmas. He's enjoying it so much that he's already installed all sorts of dating apps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22841

You deserved it

1569

Favorite

By TowelSinger

Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26355

You deserved it

4168

Favorite

By Derps - Denmark

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18429

You deserved it

39254

Favorite

By ppp - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37059

You deserved it

3384

Favorite

By textfail - United States

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31008

You deserved it

103845

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By ViviMage | 38

#7707761 - Friday 12 October 2018 14:40

Thankfully it's insured, right? Else that must have been one hell of a $3000 ride!

By chyiochan | 30

#7707767 - Friday 12 October 2018 14:57

They knew you had it too! Thankfully an expensive bike like that wont be too common. Scout craigslist daily, keep an eye out nearby, and get a security camera! They make ones that loop recording on an SD card, or even one that uploads to a server the second it detects movement. Make the $200 investment on high-end items that can be lifted easy, especially behind an easy-open door! I hope you find it, I hope you made a discreet mark on it to tell its yours! Perhaps your homeowners insurance deductible is less than the cost of the bike, and they'll replace it?

COMMENTS

By ViviMage | 38

#7707761 - Friday 12 October 2018 14:40

Thankfully it's insured, right? Else that must have been one hell of a $3000 ride!

By chyiochan | 30

#7707767 - Friday 12 October 2018 14:57

By onceuponatime456 | 16

#7707805 - Friday 12 October 2018 16:30

Why would you be so stupid as to pay $3000 for a bicycle?

Mathalamus | 24

#7707807 - Friday 12 October 2018 16:35

Agreed. Who needs a three thousand dollar bike?

redcode5 | 17

#7707847 - Friday 12 October 2018 18:14

There are bikes that go up to 10k in price, for people who do mountain biking, downhill racing and others straining things that need a good bike a 1k to 3k bike is good for them...it is a good bang for your buck. And obviously the more you pay, generally the better the quality.