Animals: Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline....

By sore - 19/04/2011 10:03 - Ireland

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 469

You deserved it 82 095

Animals

Modern student life sucks

Menace II Society

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 711

You deserved it 3 458

By ohaifml - 04/09/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 430

You deserved it 2 811

By NewTenant - 20/06/2011 07:37 - United States

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 192

You deserved it 39 925

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 12 762

By badDriver - 28/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 660

You deserved it 14 569

It's a coup!

By everythingWASperfect - 13/11/2010 14:43 - Canada

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 857

You deserved it 4 316

By yayaimannoying - 09/03/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 530

You deserved it 5 076

By embarrassed - 18/08/2014 16:39 - United States - Great Neck

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 526

You deserved it 20 420

By musiclover - 06/12/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to see our favorite band in concert. We walked at least a mile from our parking space and stood in line for two hours. My friend was supposed to have the tickets in her purse. She actually had, but she left her purse in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 5 098

By whitey - 09/01/2011 11:11 - Australia

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 313

You deserved it 4 226

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I am pregnant, sober, designated driver, and puke cleaner. Yay for the New Year! FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 698

You deserved it 7 384

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 914

You deserved it 33 283

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 01:52 - United States

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 647

You deserved it 3 327

By Anonymous - 22/08/2009 01:02 - United States

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 789

You deserved it 3 159

By Will - 23/04/2019 02:00

Today, I found out that my friends all think, "Don't worry about it" means "It's free." I'm a few thousand dollars in debt and they back each other like a gang. Never mind all the Aussies who say it means, "Pay slowly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 2 890

By Fmylife.25 - 03/09/2010 19:56 - United States

Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 013

You deserved it 6 146

By pon-3 - 22/06/2012 21:13 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 2 304

By doubledown - 04/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks plus theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 115

You deserved it 3 431

By BreechInEducation - 27/11/2016 06:55

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he was a breech baby, which according to him meant that he born out of his mum's butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 539

You deserved it 919

By gullible - 12/04/2014 16:01 - United States

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 798

You deserved it 3 925

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 629

You deserved it 3 872

By brutality - 15/06/2009 05:38 - Canada

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 869

You deserved it 4 098

By alek - 14/07/2011 14:17 - United States

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 728

You deserved it 3 652

By Fred - 26/05/2011 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 055

You deserved it 6 539

By atomwolf - 09/12/2016 17:01 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 982

You deserved it 11 958

By choker - 14/03/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 703

You deserved it 8 261

Empathy City

By bald&ugly - 19/10/2019 02:00

Today, after losing all my hair to chemo, I finally felt brave enough to go out without a wig or a headscarf. I expected some weird looks. I didn’t expect a woman in a store to point to me and tell her daughter, “See what feminism does to women? She’ll never have a husband, I bet!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 288

You deserved it 127

Pile up

By neverforgetyourphone - 05/03/2015 01:18 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 292

You deserved it 2 909

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 505

You deserved it 4 597

By unmarried - 04/05/2016 00:39 - Canada - Weston

Today, my fiancé received his divorce papers. Thanks to his procrastinating, his divorce is effective May 29th. We're supposed to get married on May 28th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 294

You deserved it 5 289

By Typicalwhitechick - 18/06/2017 00:00

Today, I finally have a day to go to the library and read for hours. Today is also a playday event for toddlers. In the library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 648

You deserved it 511

By NotSteve - 18/04/2009 08:19 - United States

Today, I was walking home from when I passed an old woman sitting on the curb of Walmart begging for change. I gave her my last dollar and felt good about it. Five minutes later I saw the same woman driving away in a car. I don't even own a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 516

You deserved it 11 152

By peacechick25 - 02/01/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 27 600

By BlueSteele220 - 22/03/2016 08:57 - United States - Coppell

Today, my family got mad at me for eloping and not inviting them to my wedding. Even though they admitted they wouldn't have gone anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 456

You deserved it 1 924

By johnG - 21/12/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 9 873

By Dude - 23/10/2010 15:13 - Singapore

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 581

You deserved it 4 141

Pants on fire

By Bun - 11/10/2020 23:01 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I found out that while I was attending AA meetings to help understand how to help my boyfriend of 7 years when he got back from rehab, that he was not in rehab at all. He was on vacation. With his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 139

By hahahano - 24/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 891

You deserved it 3 821

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 19:51 - South Africa

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 749

You deserved it 3 098

By Anonymous - 18/07/2012 08:57 - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 660

You deserved it 9 403

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Top comments

Sadieladean 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:08

I don't blame him

DocBastard 38

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:13

You found abusing your dog hilarious? I hope the dog attacked your ovaries so you can't pass on your glaring stupidity to others. Stupid twat.

Sadieladean 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:08

I don't blame him

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:17

I agree

Tuesdays76 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:36

The poor dog was probably scared to death.

persianjr1 7

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:40

imagine how scared the dog was, I mean just imagine what it would be like if all of a sudden the ground underneath you just started to move and you were continuously flying upward. I would have attacked you to. lol. This is a definite YDI!!

MissBunny25 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:49

if I were the dog, I would have nerd raged and bitten your leg off. Then I would have pissed in your mouth as you writhed in pain.

khaya 9

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:55

I hope the dog killed your friend, and the others dogs around will kill you soon. The definition of karma.

princessbits 17

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:34

If I were the dog I would've drop kicked you while on the trampoline

SchiTzenGiglez 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:36

MissBunny I wake up every morning wishing I could meet a girl like you.

ProhibitionRose 14

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:46

wth missbunny yet again you mention pee. o.O and I agree. you completely had it coming

danbui 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 19:00

Haha, my dog JUMPS intonthe trapoline whenever anyone goes into it... she loves it(: ....I have a crazy dog..(:

mfmylifesrsly 29

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 19:13

OP I want to put you on a giant trampoline with bouncing 70ft tall giants and see how you like it.

Finn_the_human 5

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 22:11

I don't get it. I thought all dogs like bouncing.

ohseriously 0

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 3:11

karma's a bitch!!!(pun intended)

lerouxmaster 7

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 4:10

^ Where the fuck is the pun ?

Pyronik 1

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 4:26

Bitch = Female Dog.

elainelovesyou 7

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 5:18

Agreed, 1. Hope he goes poopie on your face while you're sleeping later on.

lilmisslovely13 15

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Thursday 21 April 2011 3:59

^^^ i cracked up at your picture :D

elainelovesyou 7

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Friday 22 April 2011 3:40

237, M-Mine? D:

lifesucks1234567_fml 2

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Wednesday 27 April 2011 7:13

237 was talking about the banana picture

CheeseTaco 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:08

Dogs must hate you...

iZDa 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:13

ur mom must hate u

MissBunny25 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:16

your mirror must hate you

carnage1106 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:17

Your English teacher must hate you.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:17

Your shift key must hate you.

cherryblossomchi 4

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:45

let's force you to do something you don't want to do and see how you like it, but don't blame the people who forced you to do it when you get upset and lash out...moron

TaylorTotsYumm 10

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:20

DAMN YOU, 90.

iZDa 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:22

HEY my mirror thinks im sexy

iZDa 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:24

so does my english teacher ad shift key

mfjkr 10

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 23:17

This Device Has Been Modified.

Snowstar 0

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 13:05

I hate you. Well, my comment will get modded for that. So instead... C- C- COMBOBREAKER

destinyo_ox 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:09

ydi for bouncing him...

Pokeemon 3

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:19

I like your dog

litlpetlvr 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:22

Aree. that's practically animal abuse.

sailorzoe 14

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:31

Agreed X2 def. animal abuse.

Anton317 4

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:52

Smart dog :)

Anton317 4

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:52

Smart dog :)

bloodandicecream 4

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 17:05

haha, nice one!

DocBastard 38

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 17:26

Hits "thumbs up" repeatedly.

SnowFlakeInAK 7

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 17:49

Agrees with Doc!!

shes_electric 7

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:04

stop discriminating you piece of shit

TaylorTotsYumm 10

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:43

81, cool yo' titties. Perdix is the master of wit.

perdix 29

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:55

shes_electric, why don't you just go back into your Waterford Crystal house and eat your potatoes.

penguinazul 13

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:37

I've been to the factory! That crystal sho is purdy! ...And btw, to be on topic: What on earth would make you think putting an animal on a trampoline was a good idea? Did you really think that was going to end well? herr-DERP indeed.

Anton317 4

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:52

Smart dog :)

sailorzoe 14

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 17:15

Is it a smart dog?

VorpikeII 17

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 17:21

are you a smart dog???

thedrummer 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 17:27

I don't think its animal abuse, but it can still be cruel.

SnowFlakeInAK 7

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 17:50

Original Poopyhead!

missnoel 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 22:47

What the flying fuck?!? Why on earth would you share that?!? You are one sick fuck!!!!

Zomg_Okay 26

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 20:02

YDI is normally You Deserved It. OP is Original Post(er).

mmmskittles 3

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:07

anti flood protection huh?

princessbits 17

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:37

is your mom a smart dog?

janix_fml 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:50

agreed^ what sort of stupid fuck would stick their dog on a trampoline and think it would be 'hilarious' ?? op, you're seirously an idiot

sailorzoe 14

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 19:32

I'm a smart bitch.

DuckfaceSoccerpu 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 21:13

3- that's what she said. 8D.

jordanprodigy023 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:09

This has ydi written all over it.

misfitSuperStar 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:16

op has 'idiot' written all over them!

SnowFlakeInAK 7

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 17:56

The two of you have WIN written all over!! lol

Isabelleee 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:10

Yeah, your probably not his favorite person right now.

ultrabroski 0

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 9:42

you're*

neal001 0

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Saturday 14 January 2012 17:44

YDI

vampireclique 0

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Monday 23 January 2012 2:22

TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY FIRST!!

kookoo831 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:10

how would you feel if someone did that to you?

shannanx 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 23:12

yeah i am ! he has grown used to it and likes to lie there in the sun now and bounce with us. lol

Isabelleee 0

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 2:25

I really feel sorry for this dog.

Me654 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:10

you deserved it

BayBeezy 0

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 18:12

op, can you say re - tar - ded ??

lilmisslovely13 15

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Thursday 21 April 2011 4:01

baybeezy my dog is cuter than yours

bindee2211 2

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Monday 25 April 2011 3:45

L***

OMG_N3RD 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 7:22

lilmisslovey it might not be a dog and who cares if its cuter a dogs a dig

kiefenator 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:11

dog abuser lol ydi. gave me a good chuckle though.

DocBastard 38

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:13

You found abusing your dog hilarious? I hope the dog attacked your ovaries so you can't pass on your glaring stupidity to others. Stupid twat.

dayytripperr 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:17

well said. :))

TheDrifter 23

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 16:42

That almost sounds healthy boners. Personally I'd have gone for something more if a deep fried sort.

UnknwnClassicGrl 5

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:05

LOL, I hope your dog attack your ovaries! haha never heard that one before. Good one :)

UnknwnClassicGrl 5

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:05

LOL, I hope your dog attack your ovaries! haha never heard that one before. Good one :)

lextheplex 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:17

I hate when ppl respect animals more then human beings. get your priorities straight it's not right.

ifiFaLL 1

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 21:38

ya i can see how you don't care you probably test every single bit of ur makeup on animals u greasy fake bitch

lets_be_ian 5

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 21:58

Isn't that the purpose of having a Dog? To test your new makeup and shampoo? why the fuck would you risk hurting your own eyes?

starreidy 4

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Wednesday 20 April 2011 2:30

and it wouldn't be any of your business if I do or don't now would it.. go STFU I was just giving my opinion so grow up freak

SeedlessMe 13

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:28

Well, 91, If the human is a moron, and the dog is left to fend for himself against the stupidity, then yeah- I'm siding with the dog. =)

ProhibitionRose 14

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:49

91- do us a favor and stfu. OP is a retard for thinking it was funny and you are stupid for even opening your mouth. animals don't deserve to be disrespected. look what happens when they are.

A7X_LoVeee 10

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:52

Well said 114.

FlashBurn 13

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:53

91 is right, we should respect humans more. Next time she gets hit by a car, do her a favor and put her out of her misery. Poor, poor person... I agree with Doc, animal cruelty is intolerable. Humans can take it.

itzthomas 0

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 19:00

lol 91, I feel the same way. xD Though I do respect them a little.

ifiFaLL 1

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 20:30

91 what you said was retarded. shut your mouth bieber fangirl

DocBastard 38

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Tuesday 19 April 2011 22:27

You don't need to tell lextheplex to shut her mouth. She was only voicing her opinion. My question to lextheplex is: Where did I say anything about respecting animals more than people? Am I to respect this woman who was abusing her dog? Should I feel sorry for her getting what she deserved? I give the utmost respect to the people who earn it. People who abuse anything (other people, animals, drugs, the law, etc) don't deserve respect.