Miscellaneous: Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar....

By me - 09/08/2011 03:43 - United States

Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 413

You deserved it 7 356

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 007

You deserved it 7 900

By jonas_93 - 05/04/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 039

You deserved it 9 184

Feels bad man

By toobad - 02/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 085

You deserved it 6 747

By sorejecteditmakesmewannacry - 29/08/2013 10:44 - France - Poissy

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 159

You deserved it 3 807

By number2 - 14/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 057

You deserved it 4 499

Branded

By Anonymous - 20/10/2021 07:00 - United States - Eau Claire

Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone, asking him pick me up for a cookout while his kids were yelling in the background, asking where my friend, their dad, was going. He jokingly answered them, "To pick up my ugly friend." They quickly replied with my name, out of the dozens of friends he hangs out more with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 119

By Single4Life - 05/07/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 978

You deserved it 3 371

By theuglyfriend - 17/07/2012 06:09 - United States - Riverbank

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 717

You deserved it 3 718

By apparentlyunattractive - 07/06/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 042

You deserved it 7 444

Deluxe Memory Man

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 10:55 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 197

You deserved it 124 209

panda1o 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 8:59

well which one were you?

xlorawrz 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:00

That's harsh and bitchy of them, but that's what happens when you hand out your phone number to random douchebags at bars.

Comments

GiggidyPants 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:02

"I thought I was both."

SimpleMinds_fml 7

Tuesday 11 October 2011 8:55

You are Gary, you are.

FLAMERSLAYER 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:03

lol

jonn090 13

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:03

you should have been " IM RICK JAMES BITCH " and hung up

yomommma 6

Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:13

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Shafreeka 8

Tuesday 9 August 2011 12:05

**** yo couch, n***a! **** yo couch!

liy223 6

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:05

"wrong number..."

Apaulus 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:06

Hopefully you learned your lesson: Never give your number away to someone you just met. If you agree with me, text me at 6105003438

markrs 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:07

Did you answer and let him get laid? Cuz that's what the ugly or the fat or the fugly still do...

briar_127 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:07

Well did you answer

AlejandraaxD 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:12

"We excitedly answer the phone,.."

AlejandraaxD 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:14

answered*

ItsAllBeenDone 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:20

I think he meant to ask if they answered the question

lilac268 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:08

Sorry man

btown99909 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:11

hope u didn't reply "both"

PurpleChick96 3

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:12

Tell him to go suck his own and hang up.

AnagenisisZagus 13

Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:50

That would take fascinating flexibility, or an enormous dong. Yes, I said dong.

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom Animals Cats Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Facebook Jealousy

The Top

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 376

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 485

The Top

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 117

You deserved it 7 368

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 6 908

Today, I tried whitening my teeth with an off-brand product. It didn't whiten my teeth, but it did burn parts of my gums off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 307

You deserved it 7 688

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 561

You deserved it 107 527

Today, I took my car through the automated wash. I was too close to swipe my card, so the attendant reached for it and somewhere between our hands, the card fell into the grate and down a small crack 10ft into nasty water. The whole car wash was shut down to pull the massive grate up. It took about 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 156

Today, I finally got to spend a good amount of time with this girl I had been trying to get with for weeks, only to realize I wasn't that into her. I asked my friend for help and he proceeded to literally drag me away from her, while I pretended to try and stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 1 149

Same thing different taste

Feels bad man

Branded

Deluxe Memory Man

Top comments

Comments