By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 22:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 950
You deserved it 3 441

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I hear the pain of passing a kidney stone is equivalent to the pain of childbirth. Apparently the sensation of losing you is as satisfying as that of taking a really good dump.

Please allow me to quote from muffpuncher's profile: "I love to piss people off it brings joy to my existence." If you so enjoy insulting 4 year old girls, I'm sure there's a playground or primary school near your home. But I'm sure you'll have a good cry knowing that you didn't piss me off. Begone.

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Another laxatives prank perhaps?

Indubitably, old chap.

how do u send a reply?

Hey, be grateful, atleast he's showing you affection. Don't you prefer that rather than nothing ? Haha

Maybe it wasnt just his bowel? Maybe it was that AND the fact that he'd lost you? Be positive hunn

Huh, you look like somebody I know.

I imagine both can be a result of built up pressure.

25 Thanks for letting me know.. ?

Yeah, I get that alot. :(

so 51 you say that to all the girls then? since you 'get that a lot'

at least he showed you affection. most dads don't show their sons affection. other people don't have father figures. I don't feel bad for you.

And were does it state op is a guy ?

#42 umm not really. thats why theres a word called daughter. maybe people get it mixed up with u cuz u can look like either or.

I hear the pain of passing a kidney stone is equivalent to the pain of childbirth. Apparently the sensation of losing you is as satisfying as that of taking a really good dump.

the kid in that picture has a fivehead.

Please allow me to quote from muffpuncher's profile: "I love to piss people off it brings joy to my existence." If you so enjoy insulting 4 year old girls, I'm sure there's a playground or primary school near your home. But I'm sure you'll have a good cry knowing that you didn't piss me off. Begone.

Yeah, 27, because it's so nice to make fun of someone's kid(s). And the kid in the picture is a young child as well. Grow up. Get a hobby. Do something productive, perhaps?

your mommmmm has a fivehead.

Your daughter is gorgeous, doc. mA

well I had a five head as a kid. I grew into it though. alls well that ends well...

docbastard, and you seem to be a bit too fiesty. Just reminding you that there are alot of rude comments transpiring on this website. Personally, fivehead is hardly insulting. You could have just laughed it off and not get your panties all twisted up and maybe then there won't be a huge list of the people you hate on your profile. So keep that hole in your face shut, you are not some princess.

No, he is not a princess; He is a fucking GOD.

Weeellllll, of course there are rude comments on FML; most of them are other users insulting each other, obviously. But no one really insults one's child, and that is pretty low. I just had to call that out. Panties twisted up? What?! Hahahahaha. I think Doc is a sir not a madam...

I didn't get my panties in a bunch, thanks very much. I did laugh it off, otherwise I would have told that idiot exactly how he can fuck himself. I think people who try to upset me by insulting my child pathetic. But if you think I'm going to keep my "hole" shut for one second while someone makes a derogatory statement about my daughter, then you are even more of an idiot than those other idiots. You clearly don't have children, so as soon as you do, then you can tell me how to be a parent. Until then, fuck off.

id love to punch her in the fivehead.

I'd love to punch you in your tic-tac of a penis.

id love to take my tic tac and shoot a massive load on the back o your dome.

maybe he had to poop because he was scared shitless

fat Justin beiber

karina02 9

Haha, good one #8!

OP's name: Bowel Congestion Surname.

I so hate this feeling of thinking up a brilliant joke, but then being unable to phrase it in a comedically rhythmic way. But rest assured, it was HILARIOUS.