By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Croydon

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 321
You deserved it 44 187

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Top comments

xxmel 6

You lied, so now you have to put up with the consequences.

So many levels of fail -_-


So many levels of fail -_-



Maddidaddi 0

I feel like the last part was so random. Lol

Did you at least get some crack?

This is an FML that makes you wish OP said more. Like why exactly, his face was getting intimate with several sheets of ply wood.

Didn't your mommy ever tell you not to lie? -_-

Ahahaha, mate, you're from Croydon.... The roughest part of town you have is the sand paper shop.


Level 1: Crack is wack. Level 2: Plywood is no good.

63- I'm guessing the plywood was getting intimate with his face because that is how you can sometimes correct stupid. It didn't work.

xxmel 6

You lied, so now you have to put up with the consequences.

Karma's a bitch OP.

FMLisKINDAlame 1

This one is funny though! 80% of these are made up or not worth reading as they are common experiences we all face. At least he got silly with it, I laughed out of the stupidity.

That's pretty bad but I think the fact they want him to score crack for them is far worse. FYL and YDI.

Except a lie like this can get someone killed..

SystemofaBlink41 27

Or he could say no? Just a thought...

Bekeliyr 10

It's seems more of a joke. That kind of small thing.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Exactly. Why people lie about things like this, I'll never understand; it's like they don't read FML and see what happens to people who lie! :P

No he doesn't have to deal with the consequences, cuz crack is illegal. If he was smart he'd use that an out

Smoking crack? I'd say get some better friends. They're bad influences to begin with. I wouldn't go.

Zimmington 21

Crack is bad mmmkay

Choconumm 8


TheFamilyElf 17


Viciousstorms 7

Lying is kinky? You're probably single.

baddawg365 0

Crack like drugs not gay sex... Come on now

Do you even know what "kinky" means?

BunchieRules 31

Wrong FML? Maybe 3 meant to comment on the FML after this... you know, at the movie theater. If that's not the case... NO.

b3llalooove 3

Talking about "getting intimate with the plywood I believe"

ugh thank you!^ I was feeling really bad for this guy, no one understood their joke! haha oh well, maybe elaborate a little better next time?(:

104) why didn't you speak up then before he/she got absolutely ridiculed?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Maybe 104 didn't arrive until after the argument had happened but saw that the other girl (forgot the number of her comment) understood the joke and wanted to thank her for it.

Drew167 8

Way to go for trying to look tough now you might just get arrested in the process as well. And there is a such thing as saying no.

Well since we already know that op is a pathological liar I doubt he is actually going to get crack with his friends.

hollabackbitch13 3

Your hot:p

Could've said no, or told the truth.

the_anti_hipster 7

Maybe he didn't want to admit he'd taken some wood in the face. It's not so bad, OP. But I get the feeling we're not talking about the same thing. Awkward.

Am I the only one who's really curious about what happened with the boards? YDI for hanging out with crack heads!

fat_snooki_lol 6

So you're prepared to get a criminal record just to be cool? Just dumb as shit.

22cute 17

YDI just for hanging out with friends who do crack.

85-It's called a habit, or an addiction. Doesn't mean your best friend is gonna kill you because he's a crackhead. Take your ignorance somewhere else.

Maybe not kill you, but it makes them untrustworthy. You talk about ignorance like you know what it means, which you clearly don't because you are ridiculing 85 for thinking that his friend is gonna kill him... And I dont recall seeing anything about that in their comment. You are an idiot. Know what your talking about before you down someone else's comment.

KingCeltic77 18

I will agree it is a habit, but they knew what they were getting themselves into when they first tried it. I've met drug addicts. On the one hand I feel sorry, but they even told me it was their fault for first trying it.

This is just like the story where there's a shepherd who lies and gets in deep shit.

syley 5

You mean "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"?

Yes, thank you sir. *tips hat*

best description ever

At least you might get some crack.

ulis_fml 6

Bastard... You have the same picture as me.

Let us know how that goes for ya.

fernclogger 5

Crack kills

So does cigarettes, alcohol, obesity, guns, chemical warfare and biological attacks.

And Peter Griffin.

HEY HEY HEY, stop it.... Stop it. Peter griffin only kills meg and that big as rooster. Although wouldn't Peter be under the biological attack category?

Don't forget claymore experts, 39!

Oh silly me how could I have forgotten them.

And don't forget bath salts!

yoursucklives 36

and sex!

Guns don't kill people. People kill people, sometimes using a gun.

Sex doesn't kill, it creates more life!

Sex doesn't kill, it creates more life!

BunchieRules 31

148 - Ever heard of STDs?