By Anonymous - 10/07/2014 17:52 - United States - Bremerton

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 602
You deserved it 5 412

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Wow, sounds like someone is having a psychotic break... If I were you, OP, I'd avoid her at all costs. You don't need that craziness in your life.

titandesu 14

wait you can buy positive pregnancy tests online? that sounds like a terrible prank and a cry for attention


Wow, sounds like someone is having a psychotic break... If I were you, OP, I'd avoid her at all costs. You don't need that craziness in your life.

She's acting "Cray-Cray". (joke from last FML) But seriously, imagine if you did have a child with her.

Or you could one up her and tell her you are pregnant

Llama_Face89 33

39- I like it. Solid plan right there.

Exactly. Never break up with a girl while she's on her period OP she'll start plotting her revenge

Or she'll go "cray cray" like in another FML where she takes out her tampon and throws it at the OP.

Pretty much says "FML my ex isn't pregnant"

tayymeds 23

#95 and that OP's ex is bat-shit crazy...

SalsaVerdeDonut 22

@95 it's more like "FML my ex is crazy and she's spreading lies just so we can get back together"

You are Not the father!

Luke.. I am your fath- no wait, no i am not.

#39 Go for it. Where do you buy THOSE tests online?

That's unbelievable. She's a person who's very desperate. Sorry OP

Does she not realize that nine months are gunna pass pretty quick and the fact that there's no child is pretty obvious? I say play along and see how far she takes it.

cryssycakesx3 22

well she could "abort" or "miscarry." probably one of, if not the worst lie to tell a significant other, even if they are an ex. OP, you be the best damn fake dad you can be!

Being with her, even for a prank doesn't sound like a good idea. OP needs to stay away from her and maybe take help from the friend who seems to have a level head to talk with her and have a closure.

What if she's one of those crazy chicks that steals a baby or kills a pregnant woman and cuts the baby out?! I wouldn't play along! Who knows how crazy she could be!

Hang in there!

titandesu 14

wait you can buy positive pregnancy tests online? that sounds like a terrible prank and a cry for attention

Didn't you know? You can buy anything online these days. It's a crazy world out there.

You can unfortunately. Ignoring all the health factors of someone else's urine on a stick, you've got to wonder what goes through the poor women who feel the need to a) buy the test and b) sell them in the first place.

And not that I'd ever do this but wouldn't it be easier to just find a picture online of a positive test? Why would you pay for something like that?

I picture a fake positive pregnancy test as a made up brand with the positive lines painted on.

When I was pregnant I actually had someone ask me if I'd pee on a pregnancy test for them... They offered me $50 for my pee..

#20 I agree with your concern but its a fake test not a used test.

#64, are you really that stupid?

shit I'd pee on a stick for 50 bucks

#81: I'm sure there are plenty of ways to fake a pregnancy test without actually having to pee on a stick

Well I'm sure she did in case he wanted to actually see the test

I was answering the comment as to why she would buy one instead of just finding a picture online....psychotic yes, but just offering an explanation as to why she went that extra step..

There are companies that actually make tests that display "pregnant" or the positive symbols that you can buy... (Yes it's sick) So you can buy a fake test and not a used one

What are you getting at? Because you can buy tests made to be fake.. Not used... So are you the "idiot"?

I'm starting to be slightly concerned about all the women who seems to have researched the option of buying fake or used test

CaitiieBuggs 23

I was at the mall and in a shop they were selling fake positive pregnancy tests as "gag gifts".

That would be such a horrible prank to play on someone. There are some pranks that just aren't funny.

#136 - it may not be because they want to do it themselves. I once researched how to fake a pregnancy, not because I have any desire to do so myself, but because I strongly suspected a friend's psycho girlfriend might be faking her pregnancy to make him stay with her, and so I wanted to know if people actually did that, how they did it, and how common it was. Or, some of them might have just gotten curious because of this FML.

So was it a real pregnancy?

MrsFlowers 9

@#191.... Really? No it wasn't real? She claimed to be 3 weeks pregnant but was in her period (which incase you don't know.. You don't get while you're pregnant) the WEEK before. AND her friend confirmed to him it was a fake one she bought online.

ebay lol look it up

Actually you can bleed while pregnant.

What a nutter your well rid of that crazy cow!!

Wizardo 33

Such heinous villainy, this is exactly why everyone hates crazy fucking ex's.

AnOriginalName 19

But not everyone hates fucking crazy exes.

gjikvtj 18


Crazy bitches these days

Total cray-cray!

izntdan 14

Run OP and don't look back

Talk about Psycho Ex. Perhaps a restraining order is due? lol

jack_jill05 14

because adding "lol" to the end makes it not a serious subject.

OP..... RUN!!!!!!