By Anonymous - United States - Los Angeles Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML I agree, your life sucks 38737 You deserved it 9355 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of milk and he blows really hard, he can blow the milk out of his nose like twin fire hoses. I’ve washed the carpet twice in the past day, and my house still stinks of rotten dairy. FML I agree, your life sucks 1739 You deserved it 214 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmlmylife - United States Today, I was walking to school and decided to be a good citizen by picking up a beer can on the sidewalk. I then walked on to my school's campus where I then got suspended by my dean for "trying to rebel", grounded by my parents for getting suspended, and an MIP from the school's police guard. FML I agree, your life sucks 69542 You deserved it 9211 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By singleagain - United States Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML I agree, your life sucks 23931 You deserved it 42389 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Roanoke Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML I agree, your life sucks 32521 You deserved it 3746 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scaredscreenless - United States Today, I was on my back patio talking with my husband. It got dark outside, and I saw something shuffling in the back yard. I freaked out so bad that I went to run inside, only to fly face-first into the screen door. Turns out the shuffling was from a baby rabbit. FML I agree, your life sucks 12655 You deserved it 27265 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bieberslayer - United States Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML I agree, your life sucks 25761 You deserved it 2192 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charlotte Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML I agree, your life sucks 29035 You deserved it 3022 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By madeyoulaugh - United States Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML I agree, your life sucks 36877 You deserved it 8154 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JazzSpazz - United States Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML I agree, your life sucks 51817 You deserved it 23986 233 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kaitlyna15 - United States - Bellevue Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML I agree, your life sucks 27881 You deserved it 1787 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I found out why my wife insisted on naming our first child "George" if it was a boy. It was her first love's name. FML I agree, your life sucks 29749 You deserved it 2695 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By terrified - United States - Union Star Today, the amount of spiders in my house has gotten so bad that it's become routine to shake out any blankets or towels before using them. FML I agree, your life sucks 29152 You deserved it 3621 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 14:06 Little wins matter Today, after our Christmas plans got cancelled because of COVID, to make ourselves feel better we made travel plans somewhere else, which also turned into a red zone the night before our departure, we are now going out for breakfast as our highlight of the year. Thankfully they are open. FML I agree, your life sucks 351 You deserved it 1101 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Innocent Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML I agree, your life sucks 39338 You deserved it 3018 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Hamilton Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML I agree, your life sucks 25847 You deserved it 7932 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nowsingle - Canada Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 51787 You deserved it 5777 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LegallyBored - Canada - Regina Today, my roommate went away for the weekend so she could hook up with a guy from Tinder that she's never met. This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't already made plans for my 18th birthday, which is also today. Here's to a night of Netflix with my dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 7871 You deserved it 653 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sociallyawkward - United States - Atlanta Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML I agree, your life sucks 12607 You deserved it 3457 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Nature is so wonderful! Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML I agree, your life sucks 1518 You deserved it 394 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/1/2021 00:01 - Australia You tried Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML I agree, your life sucks 856 You deserved it 370 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By guitar_chick7 - Australia Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML I agree, your life sucks 22470 You deserved it 47821 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Boneo and Juliet - United States - Amherst Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML I agree, your life sucks 26764 You deserved it 4957 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Belgium - Antwerpen Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 36344 You deserved it 3689 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thanksmom - United States - Riverside Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML I agree, your life sucks 20018 You deserved it 1440 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By imaloser - Canada Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML I agree, your life sucks 73223 You deserved it 4271 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By weirded out - United States - Brentwood Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML I agree, your life sucks 39012 You deserved it 3703 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fire0fisis - United States Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML I agree, your life sucks 49016 You deserved it 2172 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I wrote to the guy whom I am in love with how I feel about him. He was very calm and told me to give him some time to think it over. Later in the day, I found out he blocked my number and rejected me on facebook. But, the worse part is he then texted me saying "This is my reply". FML I agree, your life sucks 37074 You deserved it 5011 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML I agree, your life sucks 41417 You deserved it 3882 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By greatstartto2010 - United Kingdom Today, I got home to find my entire video game collection and all my consoles had been stolen. Two weeks ago I brought them back from my University accommodation, specifically to stop them from being stolen while I was at home for the Christmas holiday. FML I agree, your life sucks 27497 You deserved it 2532 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dartfrogger - United States - Salt Lake City Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML I agree, your life sucks 30878 You deserved it 2962 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thatfatkid - United States Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML I agree, your life sucks 36690 You deserved it 6671 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AccidentalToiletSpy Today, in the bathroom at work, I heard two co-workers enter and begin a very private discussion. Not wanting to embarrass either of them, I figured I'd sit quietly until they left. Big mistake. They talked for an hour and a half. I couldn't feel my legs. FML I agree, your life sucks 2526 You deserved it 876 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yeasty - United States Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML I agree, your life sucks 44963 You deserved it 4510 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yamsterr - United States Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML I agree, your life sucks 33843 You deserved it 6658 234 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hawtpinkpanties - United States Today, my grandma gave me a gift (something she has never done before). I was so excited until I found out it was one of her overdue library books on dolphins. I feel so loved. FML I agree, your life sucks 48722 You deserved it 3113 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NAT - United States - Gaffney Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML I agree, your life sucks 19288 You deserved it 2222 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By purple - France Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML I agree, your life sucks 38089 You deserved it 10404 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ojskyguy - United States - Pearl Today, I knocked over and broke one of two very expensive wine bottles. As I was using the mop to clean it up, the handle knocked over and broke the other. FML I agree, your life sucks 32275 You deserved it 8923 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Richmond Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML I agree, your life sucks 33644 You deserved it 2767 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I found out the hard way that my sister has an OnlyFans. Not judging sex workers, I just really wish I’d know she goes by a stage name before I... I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 112 5 Comments
Today, I found out my husband was cheating on me while I was waiting in an ICU waiting room while he was getting brain surgery. FML I agree, your life sucks 617 You deserved it 32 7 Comments