And then you can treat his wood for him ;)

You realize lumberjacks chop trees right? "Treating" his wood is possibly the last thing any sane male wants.

Or she can cut their dicks off or whatever it's her choice I guess

Don't forget the mayonnaise

5 - no wayyyyyy

I'm with #1 on this. lumberjacks know how to handle good wood.

Knowing how to handle good wood is one thing #40 but its more important if she knows how to handle wood good!

How much wood can a Wood Chuck chuck if a Wood Chuck could Chuck Norris?...

If you do indeed treat his wood right with any luck he will axe you to marry him!

I'll show myself out.

at least he knows you'll find someone

How much could a wood chuck wood if a wood chuck could chuck wood

Hope she doesn't chop your wood down.

She's a lumberjack and she's okay, she sleeps all night and she works all day.

She chops down trees, she wears high heels.

Suspenders and a bra!

so i married an axe murderer?

"I put on women's clothing / And hang around in bars."

Who needs outdated gender roles anyway

Well at least he doesn't assume that you're a lesbian

Wears a red flannel wedding gown

Because you are one awesome-in-shape-strong-stereotype-shattering-glass-ceiling-busting girl, right? :)

I sang that in Phineas and Ferbs' "truck-driving-girl" tune