Intimacy: Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having...

By omgwtfsam - United States

Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having sex with some girl and went on a rampage about how pissed he was that he was cheating on me. I had to explain to my parents that I was the girl in the pictures. FML

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Intimacy

Serious times

Delayed proposal

Left behind

By Anonymous - Germany

Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

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By Lootz - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

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By stuff - United States

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

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By veggiepower11028

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

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By leelee50 - United States

Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML

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By facepalm - Singapore

Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML

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By NotSoClean - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

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By tylerlove361 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Livingston

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

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By Hoover

Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was faking a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML

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By Taylor - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

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By Broc'n dreams - New Zealand - Auckland

Face Your Fears

Today, I woke up screaming "FUCK OFF!" because I had a dream that someone threw broccoli through my window. FML

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By uglyyyyy - United States

Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML

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By NoBabies - United States - Tucson

Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML

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By dzisfml - Canada

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

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By Tallie

Today, I fell down the stairs, breaking my foot and tendons. It was the first time I had ever broken anything, and the doctor said that it's the most complicated break he'd ever seen. It's too complicated to operate. Now I'm stuck in a wheelchair for god knows how long. FML

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By Stolemylady - Australia

Today, while at my ex-girlfriend's wedding, I had to hear her explain how she met the love of her life. This happened in the four years we were dating. FML

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By Anon - United States

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

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By 2fast4U - Canada - Vancouver

Today, some of my coworkers have complained that I don't do my share of the work, though they can't specify exactly what I'm not getting done. Apparently, being too efficient and finishing first means I mustn't have done anything at all. The supervisor sided with them. FML

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By lumacsp - United States

Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML

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By suosi - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

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By mark807 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML

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By Ugh-Lee - United States

Today, a cute girl sat down next to me on the bus. She looked up at me, and then moved to the back. FML

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By LifeSucks - United States

Today, as I was driving to work, I got a flat tire. While attempting to replace said tire, I got mugged. The guy took all my money, my iPod, cellphone, and CDs. When I finally called my boss to explain my situation, he fired me. Why? Because I was late and had an "overactive imagination." FML

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By Brittany - United States

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

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Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML

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By poopexperttt - United States

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

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By All a hoax - 25/10/2020 20:05 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Don't know, don't care

Today, my boss still won't believe in climate change, and won't do anything to reduce our carbon footprint. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with four departments at my college due to a mistake on my tuition bill. The last guy I talked to told me to call the financial aid office and hung up before I could respond. That was the first office I called. FML

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By Sleepless

Today, after countless nights of no sleep and only some spontaneous naps, I was finally seeing a sleeping doctor to analyze the problem. I missed the appointment because I ended up sleeping through my alarm after not being able to sleep at all last night. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

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By Lolrus - Qatar

Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML

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By Chouse - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

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By nonexistant - Canada

Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML

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By newhostess - United States

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

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By Riicogonz

Today, while borrowing my girlfriend's dad's truck, I had to pay $120 to prevent it from being towed. I was parked right in front of my apartment unloading heavy furniture into my garage for not even 20 minutes while the apartment manager, who called the tow truck, watched us from his balcony. FML

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By in debt

Today, a tree fell on our 3-month-old family car. Today, I also learned that my husband never insured it. It's probably scrap, and we still have to pay it off for the next 5 years. FML

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Top comments

By lyndis_fml | 0

#433282 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:23

Why the hell were these pictures somewhere where your parents could see?

By banerkblue | 0

#433267 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:17

lol. I would've let them think it was someone else!

COMMENTS

By ghadir | 2

#433261 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:15

haha! woww that must've been awkward lol
yay michigan! *sigh*

Dmaster22 | 0

#434391 - Monday 27 July 2009 19:04

YDI for not hiding em good enough

DenBriZel | 31

#5566192 - Friday 5 July 2013 1:15

How the hell did your dad find a picture that private anyway?

By thtnerdykid | 0

#433265 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:17

awkward...

Wombats111 | 0

#434021 - Monday 27 July 2009 16:42

I hope your dad didn't have them for masterbational purposes.

By banerkblue | 0

#433267 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:17

lol. I would've let them think it was someone else!

By lyndis_fml | 0

#433282 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:23

Why the hell were these pictures somewhere where your parents could see?

aduck | 0

#433839 - Monday 27 July 2009 15:35

I doubt she left them lying around. There was probably at least a vague level of snooping on her dads part.

minax24 | 0

#1921888 - Sunday 2 January 2011 22:59

maby they were on the Internet and her dad was looking for porn and found those instead

By americayay | 0

#433290 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:27

YDI for taking pictures. I'll bet money you regret those for very different reasons one day.

drinkupgorgeous | 0

#433294 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:28

AMEN.

rolguru | 0

#433300 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:29

Agreed

Alexgoesfml | 3

#433754 - Monday 27 July 2009 14:48

Nicely put!

Nonnag | 0

#433785 - Monday 27 July 2009 15:08

Who says she knew they were taken?

tko | 0

#434409 - Monday 27 July 2009 19:11

yea, ur a dumb bitch for taking pics. shoulda took video ;)
lol jk

Rouge_Plague | 0

#435609 - Tuesday 28 July 2009 2:46

Agreed. With sex (in their case) its kinda like murder. You gotta make sure no one else finds out.
Terrible analogy so lets just ignore it and get on with our lives. =D

By curlyfriez | 0

#433298 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:29

well youre stupid. things like that should be hidden somewhere safe.

By jem1991 | 0

#433308 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:33

i dont think i will ever understand why people
make videos and take pictures of themselves doing
the nasty

Puolukka | 4

#433476 - Monday 27 July 2009 11:25

and I don't think I will ever understand why people call having sex "doing the nasty" o.O

genius_man16 | 0

#433806 - Monday 27 July 2009 15:17

because "sex" is an evil word that you will go to hell for saying. Like bitch or something. Duh

By curlyfriez | 0

#433310 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:34

well you're stupid. I want to say that these pictures must have been posted somewhere because if they were in you're house or computer, then your dad would of obviously assumed you were the girl, given the fact you had them.

By ohaiyaz | 0

#433337 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:43

I bet your parents will be looking at those tonight when they're getting it on.

OH and great job at hiding them,you're a winner.

alexm501 | 0

#3675035 - Friday 2 December 2011 23:24

Gross.

By midwestjerk | 0

#433346 - Monday 27 July 2009 9:49

I'll bet he got hard looking at the pics, too.