Health: Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the...

By meowcat101 - 21/08/2010 04:05 - Canada

Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 3 226

Health

Another great day to be alive

Walk the line

Triage

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 254

You deserved it 4 522

By Peter - 27/12/2011 02:24 - United States

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 496

You deserved it 2 971

By BloodyNoseMcgee - 11/10/2018 15:30

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 924

You deserved it 171

Treat yourself

By dll - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 9 096

Happy Birthday to me

By Zebra - 30/12/2020 22:58

Today, my sister was meant to come over for lunch for my birthday. Turns out, she forgot about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 51

By Jon - 23/05/2011 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 291

You deserved it 9 374

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 993

You deserved it 3 750

Plop

By TimeForACareerChange - 18/07/2012 00:54 - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 346

You deserved it 2 309

By lonelygirl - 14/02/2010 05:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 599

You deserved it 3 431

By yum - 07/07/2013 05:09 - United States - Sylmar

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 221

You deserved it 4 312

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 01:49 - United States

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 420

You deserved it 2 523

Asshat

By lissa - 01/06/2021 11:01

Today, at school, some kid I’ve never liked came up to me and said, to my face, "I’m really happy to hear about your mom." She died two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 58

Noise annoys

By Mystic - 04/09/2021 00:01 - United States - Denver

Today, it’s the fifth day in a row that my mom has vacuumed right outside my room, from 5 to 11 AM. Despite this, I still can’t fall asleep before midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 86

The real me

By Anonymous - 26/01/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after three days of dating a boy I liked, he came out as gay on his Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 111

By cocacola999 - 03/05/2014 10:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 668

You deserved it 7 749

By a chick in California - 14/06/2012 20:10 - United States - Ceres

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 141

You deserved it 8 659

By RoxMySox - 25/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 390

You deserved it 6 690

By girlw/ablog - 02/07/2019 11:00 - United States - Austin

Today, while on a bus, an elderly lady sat next to me sneezed so hard, snot literally went flying. I even offered her a napkin, that she refused. After a brief panic and realizing she had nothing to clean her mess with, she "inconspicuously" wiped her snotty hand on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 847

You deserved it 119

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 843

You deserved it 4 162

By jackzz - 09/04/2015 07:55 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 868

You deserved it 3 563

By j_babydoll6520 - 26/08/2011 11:09 - Australia

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 595

You deserved it 3 133

By Anonymous - 09/12/2014 18:29

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 715

You deserved it 6 091

Stained

By Anonymous - 06/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 161

By Kanata - 31/08/2019 02:05

Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 139

By singlemam - 15/03/2016 01:51 - United States - Akron

Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 098

You deserved it 2 056

Meet the family

By annika - 06/09/2020 08:07 - Canada

Today, I finally took the courage to introduce my ginger boyfriend to my family. It didn't go too well. My dad asked if he could call him "Ron Weasley" and my 13-year-old brother asked if he had a soul. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 203

By kimm1993 - 03/08/2013 04:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 635

You deserved it 8 428

By took it - 09/02/2014 14:36 - United States - Syracuse

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 696

You deserved it 8 309

By Gore - 18/06/2019 21:13 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I was going to record a song I wrote for my dad, who I haven't spoke to in a couple of years. After getting things together, I called my mom to let her know I'd be doing this. She informed me he died. A year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 503

You deserved it 423

By technologyfail - 26/08/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer and all the emails from my long distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 894

You deserved it 50 927

By mrsimintrouble - 29/07/2016 06:01 - United States - Redding

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 691

You deserved it 2 341

By kubbyp - 03/04/2014 21:22 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 996

You deserved it 4 047

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 88

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 508

You deserved it 5 112

Kids will be kids

By monkey - 19/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Logan

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 049

You deserved it 5 465

By TheAngryBird - 28/06/2012 04:51 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 335

You deserved it 2 698

By çapousse2904 - 12/09/2014 05:45 - France - Le Pr?-saint-gervais

Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 4 030

Grab the balls by the horn, dude

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 18:00

Today, the only girl I've ever had eyes for said she can't find any good single men, all while sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 501

By screw the cat - 24/07/2012 05:10 - United States - South Jordan

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 084

You deserved it 23 815

By cheated - 31/01/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 7 years has been communicating extensively with his ex, who lives out of state, for over 6 months. She booked flights and a hotel nearby in a month and invited him. He didn't say no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 736

You deserved it 336

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Top comments

glitchedgamer 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 12:46

BOOM headshot

nikkired 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 14:37

I know your Dad,it wasn't an accident.

glitchedgamer 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 12:46

BOOM headshot

MusicIsLife17 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 12:52

well for next time... never stand behind or within swinging distance of the person with the club:)

WeScReamSoLOud 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 12:56

that bites but here's the thing...golf really..wow. I think someone was trying to save you from the snore

minax24 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:58

fyl??? imagin what your mom did to your dad for that...

Griggy 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 15:39

God just really doesn't like you.

BigDaddyCain 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 15:39

Stress of recovering from a concussioin?

BigDaddyCain 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 15:41

concussion* -.-

hnz 13

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Saturday 21 August 2010 15:52

your dad doesn't want you to recover from the concussion! it's on purpose he hit you on the head

YANKSFAN4EVER 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 17:51

I say YDI because really the only way together is if you where standing bhind or in front but other let go and it hit u then FYL.

AeolusMDD 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 17:53

ha nice #1

nishant5456 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 17:55

atleast the stress is gone? I'm glad you make a good stress reliever, call me up sometimes I got a extra baseball bat anyways.

ugwmii 0

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Monday 23 August 2010 9:14

ohhh that has to hurt

timisrude11 1

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Wednesday 12 January 2011 7:56

Honestly, there is no stress inrecovering from a concussion. Literally all you have to do is do nothing strenuous. Stress..... Please.....

King_Samuel29 4

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Friday 29 July 2011 12:22

did he... blow your mind?? AHAHAHA.. get it? 'cause... blow?... you know what? screw you guys

whymeok 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 12:53

WHAT DOES OP MEAN

BehindTheSun 2

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Saturday 21 August 2010 12:56

ORIGINAL POSTER

Shookitup 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:14

Old Penis! -,- damn..

Anaxes 5

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:15

ARE YOU LITERALLY RETARDED

glitchedgamer 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:16

Obese Pineapple

tweetbaby14 18

Saturday 21 August 2010 13:21

oompah-loompa prostate

ImJustNotBlack 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:31

blue waffle

Shookitup 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:34

ARE YOU LITERALLY GOING TO TALK LIKE THIS?

ImJustNotBlack 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:38

are you?

Shookitup 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:53

no ^.^

L_M_L_10 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 15:01

@18 Blue Waffle??? Gross, that is the most disturbing thing Ive ever heard of in my life. Lol

remy3106 10

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Saturday 21 August 2010 15:41

have u seen one?? it's disgusting!!! BLECHK

2kool4skoolyo 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 17:55

let's not start the blue waffle crap pls it's disturbing as hell. to clarify for all the future users this is how it goes FML- fuck me life YDI- you dumb idiot OP- obese person

nishant5456 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 17:58

Orange Waffle.

yomama126 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 18:09

49 epic picture

bryttkneee 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 18:40

isn't YDI for You Deserved It?...

sourgirl101 28

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Saturday 21 August 2010 19:21

Yes it is. I guess it can mean both.

2kool4skoolyo 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 19:38

you dumb idiot and you deserve it... you dumb idiot fits more

Brittney_E 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 19:59

okay, this is the last time i repeat this. OP is Optimus Prime.

JustineBieberHat 0

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Monday 23 August 2010 16:26

organic poop

georggx 3

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Saturday 21 August 2010 12:54

ouch. hit him back haha. that sucks :/ why you out anyway you should be resting...

Aznbryan1 1

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Saturday 21 August 2010 12:59

head shot bieeotchhh! :] ahh just kidding. are you okayy now??

Big_Boner 3

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:01

oooooh the irony ... Sorry OP, but I laughed so much. xD

justsayfuck 5

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:07

Don't you just love the irony?

diego47ak 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:10

I agree with 11

justsayfuck 5

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:37

You just created a vicious circle.

baby_gurl2405 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:23

well now you've got an excuse to never have to play golf again. Trauma can pull that you know.

sourgirl101 28

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Saturday 21 August 2010 14:05

Golf is fun to play. It's just boring to watch. And you can drink while hitting a few rounds!

baby_gurl2405 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:23

well now you've got an excuse to never have to play golf again. Trauma can pull that you know.

Sicarri 2

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Saturday 21 August 2010 13:33

Hmm, I guess 'stress relief' is a personal thing - some take up a hobby, some do sports and others go walking in a park, I guesshe chose the last two... A twofer!