Miscellaneous: Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted...

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

agreeclassic 38 727

vote type 1 13 282

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By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML

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Eye bleach

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Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

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By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

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By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

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By Anonymous - 08/06/2015 14:11 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

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By dumbdad - 28/12/2009 07:30 - United States

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

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shrinks into corner

By Ally - 24/03/2018 05:00

Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML

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It's fine, I'll walk

By assholedad - 11/02/2015 21:00 - United States

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

agreeclassic 32 382

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By pinkrazorsare4men - 16/11/2016 00:51

Today, whilst taking a shower, I noticed my razor wasn't in its usual spot. Upon inspecting it closer, I noticed that there were tiny white hairs in it. When confronting my father about it, he claimed the "pink razors" are his. We've been sharing the same razor this entire time. FML

agreeclassic 9 890

vote type 1 905

By lp525252 - 20/03/2013 10:59 - Australia - Miranda

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

agreeclassic 38 890

vote type 1 3 161

dakotahulsey 15

Sunday 23 March 2014 9:36

Now you can put it on and impress girls.

just16letters 15

Sunday 23 March 2014 9:37

Well you didn't specify where you wanted him to keep it..

Comments

tigerlily9717 15

Friday 25 April 2014 0:00

I told my stepdad about this FML a little while ago and he just gave me a bottle of his shavings :0

Zenithbeauty 15

Tuesday 3 February 2015 7:33

Tape it too your face and walk by your dad and say " Thanks" super enthusiastically

RoadsUntraveled 4

Saturday 4 April 2015 15:15

Your dad's a ******* genius.

glamour_083 13

Tuesday 28 July 2015 6:07

'Dad joke' game is strong

prettygurl89 16

Thursday 1 October 2015 8:07

Your dad is awesome

MsLemonzZ 1

Monday 3 October 2016 19:38

Are you sure it was beard hair?

randybryant799 20

Monday 28 February 2022 17:34

And ??? I'm totally missing the problem.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, after 25 years of marriage and 2 children, I was served with divorce papers. It turns out my 51 year old, soon to be ex, has been having an affair with the 24 year old tutor I hired to help our daughter bring her grades up. They are in love and want to start a new family together as soon as possible. FML

agreeclassic 46 276

vote type 1 2 881

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

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vote type 1 5 895

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

agreeclassic 32 970

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Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML

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Today, my two year-old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML

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Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

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Similar FMLs

Eye bleach

*shrinks into corner*

It's fine, I'll walk

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shrinks into corner