Intimacy: Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home....

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:18 - Australia

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 815

You deserved it 3 840

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Same thing different taste

By nean83 - 12/01/2013 05:11 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 485

You deserved it 39 859

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 073

You deserved it 8 879

Kinky

By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was asked to pick up something from my parents' house, only to be greeted with the horrid surprise that my elderly dad has taken to wearing women's pantyhose and garters. He claims it's for his knees, but that doesn't explain the boner I had to see peeking out of his panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 75

ED FML

By Anonymous - 22/04/2011 02:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 323

You deserved it 3 511

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 432

You deserved it 5 473

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 239

You deserved it 485

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 187

You deserved it 4 177

By Anonymous - 20/02/2019 04:00

Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 035

You deserved it 185

By Author - 24/02/2014 22:22 - United States - Naples

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 403

You deserved it 6 831

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 4 681

save_me_08 0

Friday 22 May 2009 16:49

At least it wasn't in a bag w/ a ***** and he ended up telling you how he likes it up the ass... then goes on to explain how stimulation of the prostate increases pleasure... and how you shouldn't be embarrassed about what makes yourself and your partner feel good Silver lining?

ArtsySwag 0

Friday 22 May 2009 16:49

Why would your father disclose that with you? That's so gross. I've come across lube in my mom's groceries and I try overlooking it because I don't want mental images rummaging through my head. Ughhhhhh. I feel sorry for you :(.

Comments

Islander_fml 5

Monday 25 May 2009 5:39

Hahaha, funny. But definitely not an FYL.

chexmex 0

Monday 25 May 2009 7:29

Just be thankful your dad isn't a perv..

giraffebreath 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 3:29

Why does this need to be said to your child? A simple "Never mind that, son" would have done more than sufficed. Sometimes I wonder...

peopleplz2008 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 9:04

errrrrrrr nasty to have to hear that

guitarist3047 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 7:39

Lol I bet u got a boner

Gummybears4life 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 9:55

hahahahahaha ew

ilovejonathan13 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 9:19

I feel EXTREMELY bad for you.. Ew..

tttiffany 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 3:22

TMI.

aml1991 9

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:24

Okay, some of the people on here are downright mean. I feel really sorry for you, nobody should EVER have to hear about their parent's sex life, no matter what. That guitarist guy like 3 above me or something like that.. his comment was definitely uncalled for you. I feel for you dude. Hope that he doesn't go into anymore detail next time :)