Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a...

By Grossed Out - Australia

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38675

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Intimacy

Night terrors

Peaky Bladders

Extreme late fees

By uhhh what? - United States - Bellevue

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

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32222

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML

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51770

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By tapeissticky591 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

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12864

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36358

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By trippybmth - United States

Today, after doing tons of research on a wand my little brother wanted for Christmas, I finally found one on eBay for $60. After already giving my credit card info and confirming the purchase, my dad called me and told me he found the exact same one for six bucks at a local toy store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31567

You deserved it

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By Ma.Sa.La. - United States

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

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27552

You deserved it

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By Justaddwater - France

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

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25450

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By Hotdogwater

Today, my neighbour put in a noise complaint against me for being loud at midnight. I was having a coughing fit and couldn't breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5564

You deserved it

318

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By GoodbyeNewJob

Today, I accidentally said, "Hell yes!" in front of a potential employer and a group of kids before an interview at a daycare center. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7890

You deserved it

3673

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By hellphone_fml

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1270

You deserved it

589

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer at work made threats against me and my two-month old son. Instead of following policy by notifying the police, my manager apologized to him and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1993

You deserved it

120

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By grounded - United Kingdom

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11896

You deserved it

27917

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By davidh5012 - United States

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

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31414

You deserved it

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By Laptop - France

Today, my little sister tripped when trying to walk up the stairs with a sandwich in one hand and my laptop in the other. She choose to save her sandwich instead of my £500 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31632

You deserved it

3710

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

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43013

You deserved it

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By K-9cop - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML

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47895

You deserved it

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By worksucker - United States

Today, 30 minutes before I was supposed to quit work at 6pm, my boss showed up. After telling him how the day went, he asked why I was still there. Apparently, for the holiday, we close early. 4 hours earlier. FML

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28464

You deserved it

7463

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door. And the keys were in the ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18071

You deserved it

38466

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By Cody1324

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years is better friends with my younger sister and when she has free time to go out and do something, she would rather spend it with her than with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2474

You deserved it

375

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my job to a girl that graduated with the same bachelor's degree from the same college as me. She also got a master's in an unrelated field. I've been working there 7 months, and her master's in maths apparently makes her a better athletic trainer than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31152

You deserved it

4266

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By Michelle - Australia - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50586

You deserved it

5597

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By Username - United States

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37398

You deserved it

5726

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By Anonymous - United States - Niles

Today, somebody kicked the crap out of my car and spray painted "CHEATER" on the sides. I've never even had a girlfriend. FML

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26385

You deserved it

1498

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By John - United Kingdom

Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39342

You deserved it

5093

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By Masey - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

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35300

You deserved it

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By guest - Canada

Today, I moved into a lovely basement suite. Unfortunately, the 12 year old upstairs plays violin. She also plays baritone. She said she alternates each day. FML

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25877

You deserved it

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By Mia - India - Mumbai

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get it on. That's when the bell rang. He said, 'I'll just be back'. 5 minutes later, still no sign of him. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the hall. Turns out his new PS4 had arrived. He said, 'I forgot you were here, sorry' and continued to play. FML

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3701

You deserved it

418

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By - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I had a meeting with HR that resulted in me being dismissed for poor performance. I was confused because up until that point, my line manager had said my performance was exemplary. Turns out it wasn't, and he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to be stressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2682

Phew, glad it wasn't me

317

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By Spoopy Flame III - 18/11/2020 17:02

Academia ain't for everyone

Today, after dropping a class for the first time ever in college in order to focus on raising my grades, I failed the test that I dropped another course to study for. By not finishing on time. After 3 days of studying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

693

You deserved it

219

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By Nico711

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2294

You deserved it

180

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By Anonymous - United States - Newtown Square

Today, after hearing the results of my spinal tap, following several scans, my doctor said discovering that I have Multiple Sclerosis was a "happy accident". FML

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23843

You deserved it

1479

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43568

You deserved it

3380

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By blinkme - United States

Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML

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40592

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

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2850

You deserved it

703

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By Anonymous - United States - Cleveland

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63652

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own and that I work at. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30571

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By Anonymous

How nice of them.

Today, I learned what my office nickname means. My nickname? Butterface. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1668

You deserved it

190

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By idiotfucks - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

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38153

You deserved it

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By PookaKay02 - United States

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29927

You deserved it

8579

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By anashaalmajiid - United States

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7864

You deserved it

67934

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By shaft2112 - Germany - Emsdetten

Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23338

You deserved it

1434

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Top comments

By DGross | 8

#943152 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:07

wolf pussy :-)

By ojosverdes26 | 6

#943163 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:09

OH MY GOD! WIN. LOL, furball! Your mom's funny...

COMMENTS

By DGross | 8

#943152 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:07

wolf pussy :-)

ReyEr9412 | 0

#943175 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:11

The OP is now scared for life...

rohosoccer08 | 1

#943195 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:14

gross! I don't even want to think about a parent like that! at least not one old enough to have a kid that knows what a brazilian is

niibee | 0

#943239 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:21

lmao

beccaishereyay | 11

#943306 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:39

hahahahahahaha FHL "lol i feel sorry for your dad

twist_of_fame93 | 0

#943307 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:39

one Horney ass dad. hey I guess it could be a lot worse

Anthrophobia | 2

#943331 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:47

Haha, #1 wins

SirWhatsHisFace | 0

#943347 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:50

lol, Nick Swardson reference ftw!

Blue_Coconuts | 7

#943412 - Saturday 13 March 2010 21:03

Haha, great special, laughed my ass off... Also fur is not great... Maybe a little on the top, but trimmed.. otherwise no go.

alleyx3 | 0

#943417 - Saturday 13 March 2010 21:05

LMFAO

bamskey | 0

#943448 - Saturday 13 March 2010 21:16

haha

Menick47 | 0

#943456 - Saturday 13 March 2010 21:19

Wolf pussy? More like Mammoth pussy!

lady_lindsey | 0

#943540 - Saturday 13 March 2010 21:51

epic mom!

sugarbabyxoxo | 2

#943603 - Saturday 13 March 2010 22:17

lmao grossss!

Felendris | 0

#943716 - Saturday 13 March 2010 22:58

rofl, "furball"
that's bawse xD

sublimaze | 6

#943721 - Saturday 13 March 2010 23:00

poor dad must be coughing up hairballs

paigeatsflesh | 11

#943731 - Saturday 13 March 2010 23:04

that's yuckers./: one time me and my mom were in our bathing suites and she looked down and said "opp my little hairs are showing!" ...I feel your painnn.

SeasonedSausage | 0

#943858 - Saturday 13 March 2010 23:37

why can't dad pull out the lawn mower and do it himself.

mylifeblows3232 | 3

#944047 - Sunday 14 March 2010 0:40

that reminds me of my gf snickerdoodles downstairs

jetpackzach | 5

#944067 - Sunday 14 March 2010 0:47

@74....gross

Felendris | 0

#944682 - Sunday 14 March 2010 4:21

@90, I think we've driven snicker away... (we=FML users -_-) sorrah Sneeckardewdlez

honestlove11 | 0

#944938 - Sunday 14 March 2010 6:12

90.. you're disgusting :/ jussayin.

AndreaHaha | 0

#945003 - Sunday 14 March 2010 6:49

eww lmao to number 1

UberFail79 | 0

#945169 - Sunday 14 March 2010 8:32

Must I defend Snicker's honor in her absence? Grab the dueling pistols.

Here's your flintlock, and I'll just use my Glock.

distortedx | 0

#945951 - Sunday 14 March 2010 15:10

@45 Hella cute :P

ashley47 | 0

#948699 - Monday 15 March 2010 5:42

lmaoooo xD

ILoveMyXbox | 0

#949051 - Monday 15 March 2010 8:30

LMFAO #90 GOOD ONE, BRO

Peacemaker9 | 7

#957061 - Wednesday 17 March 2010 8:41

#74 that just made me gag rite now...... crap where's the trash can...... lol jking but ur story. did sound gross a bit...... no offense.....

Brittaneyyy | 0

#2265316 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 4:35

#1 made my day lol

Brittaneyyy | 0

#2265329 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 4:37

o n #74 grosssss

Trilogy | 1

#3380756 - Monday 3 October 2011 5:58

Haha #1 Nick Swardson FTW!!

By ojosverdes26 | 6

#943163 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:09

OH MY GOD! WIN. LOL, furball! Your mom's funny...

GeneralCha | 3

#943256 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:24

Ummmm....

jj2014 | 0

#943326 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:46

holy shit that's hillarious.

ImaginaryFoe | 0

#943390 - Saturday 13 March 2010 20:58

Agreed. OP, how old are you? If you are over 20, no big deal. Your parents see you as an adult.

Tripout | 0

#943623 - Saturday 13 March 2010 22:22

no #2. op's mom is FURRY.

3DLoli | 0

#943757 - Saturday 13 March 2010 23:17

LOL 65. I was gonna say that. xD;

dance_till_dawn | 0

#943893 - Saturday 13 March 2010 23:45

I don't care how old she is. I'm 32, my dad's 48, and my mom's 50. I still do not want to know about her furball! Or anyone's for that matter! Ummmmm....eeeewwww!!!!