Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being... - FML

By weirdo - 21/2/2010 08:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

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Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

Great boyfriend

Vultures

By Rach - 8/8/2018 23:30

Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt face. Today was also the first time I've ever run into my crush outside of work, all while trying to parallel park in a car that hasn't been washed in 6 months. I hit the car behind me. FML

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By SmellyLeg - 20/11/2017 15:00

Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML

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By khlonnae - 21/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Dayton

Today, while hanging out with my boyfriend, I started getting ready for bed. As I grabbed my face wipes, he said, “Wait, don't take off your makeup because then you'll be ugly.“ FML

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By kennyjhynes - 23/6/2014 13:56 - United States

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

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By Notadrinkanddriveidiot - 7/12/2011 14:46 - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

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By Ohhh the pain - 28/4/2019 04:00

Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhoea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realise she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. 5 minutes later I shit and vomited myself. FML

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By Weddingbelles - 12/9/2016 15:52 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, at the end of my 10-hour shift, my manager made me count exactly how many business cards were left in inventory before I could leave. She didn't believe me when the number came to exactly 3000. She made me count them all again. FML

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By andi0804 - 5/8/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

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By Whyme? - 28/4/2016 02:39 - United States - Hackensack

Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML

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By trashcanned - 6/4/2009 11:47 - United States

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

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By ActuallyDoneFor - 10/11/2018 10:30 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how 2 girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend says "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he said, he hesitantly added "...if I was single." FML

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By RheaDitto - 18/6/2019 01:08

Today, after sending and receiving hundreds of hints, I mustered up the courage to ask my best friend out. He completely ignored my words, and went on to tell me all about his mother's intestinal bug. FML

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By outagrand - 1/8/2009 14:08 - Australia

Today, I gave my mother a pre-prepared deposit envelope with my fortnightly wage in it, in cash. I tell her exactly where the deposit box is and what to do. I'm now desperately calling the bank because my mother accidentely put my $1200 deposit in the little trash can for receipts under the ATM. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/7/2016 07:58 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/5/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/5/2019 02:00

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

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By bear - 26/3/2013 11:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

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By msamberjade - 30/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Columbus

New movie

Today, my boyfriend came home with three of his best friends and broke up with me in front of them. Then, when I asked if we could talk privately, he filmed it for "documentation". FML

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By Robert - 1/1/2018 19:00

Today, I finally got medication to deal with my seizures. I've had them since I was 5, but my mother had always believed I was faking it. When I seized during a basketball game, she actually came onto the court and lectured the referee for "humoring" me. FML

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By Pepe - 16/11/2008 05:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend said to me, "You know, you only have to wash 3 times a week to be clean." FML

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By anonymous - 2/7/2013 21:08 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

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By Highschoolisover! - 26/10/2017 01:30

Today, a good friend refuses to speak to me because she found out that I slept with her husband. It happened twelve years before they met. FML

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By accidentalsmartass - 6/3/2017 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

He deserved it. Snapping ain't cool unless you're a turtle.

Today, I learned that I may have caused a public speaker and author to be fired, because my response to his "open chat" question flustered him, causing him to lose his cool and snap at me. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/5/2013 23:16 - Switzerland - Saint Gallen

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

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By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

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By NotALady - 15/12/2016 22:20

Today, I was at a gas station when I got a bad stomach ache. I clenched my cheeks together and rushed to the nearest bathroom. Twenty minutes and a clogged toilet later, I exited the one-person bathroom to a line of very angry women. I had run into the wrong restroom. One of them threw a tampon at me. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/7/2009 03:44 - United States

Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

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By Anon - 10/10/2011 15:24 - Canada

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

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By nothanks - 1/5/2011 14:30 - United States

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

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By dollfacee - 9/7/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

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By grannysmack - 11/7/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

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By Clogged Nose - 19/3/2020 02:32

Smells like teen spirit of America

Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML

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By vagina dentata for christmas, pls - 25/1/2013 18:51 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

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By FeedTheBirds - 6/9/2017 22:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML

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By Stephie2009 - 30/10/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

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By Miller_Time - 18/3/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

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By E.B. - 27/6/2014 00:07 - United States - Grenada

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

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By queenmabby - 16/1/2019 12:00

Today, for the first time ever, I was able to have a good hair day without blow drying it or using product. Or so I thought. The first words my mom spoke to me when I came downstairs were “Go fix your hair.” FML

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By Biggie - 2/2/2011 14:44 - United States

Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML

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Top comments

By theian01 | 3

#878915 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:10

When you think about being happy and try to look happy, people look creepy. It's a widely believed fact!

By iheart655 | 0

#878970 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:21

not an fml. he's honest with you. and it's not like he called you ugly, either.

COMMENTS

By perdix | 29

#878894 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:07

Close your mouth! He doesn't want to see the pubes between your teeth. He's happy to have left them there, but he doesn't want to see 'em.

Reply

Eddie_Paints | 0

#878921 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:11

Send him one of you smiling and flipping him off!

Reply

nmsm | 1

#878927 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:11

Why is this an FML? Sometimes you'll look weird in a picture, take another.

Reply

idkwtfbbq | 3

#878932 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:13

send him a pic of your cooch!

Reply

mooshibear140 | 4

#878944 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:14

LMFAO @3
do it! do it! do it! do it!! :P

Reply

strawberry6826 | 0

#878999 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:27

i agree with #3!! do tht lol

Reply

FUDGELOVESME | 0

#879085 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:52

agreed 

Reply

sprite123 | 0

#879170 - Sunday 21 February 2010 17:26

fyl...?

Reply

futtgoredo | 0

#879209 - Sunday 21 February 2010 17:43

this is not an fml

Reply

albinomustang | 0

#879370 - Sunday 21 February 2010 18:35

How is this an FML??? Waaaaaaaa my boyfriend said a picture of me wasn't glorifying!!! WAAAAAaaa !!!!!

Reply

reyemrein | 0

#879415 - Sunday 21 February 2010 18:55

^ this

Reply

Shoemaster | 0

#879444 - Sunday 21 February 2010 19:08

umm...who cares?

Reply

KingTata | 0

#879455 - Sunday 21 February 2010 19:11

you really need a life

Reply

marz88 | 0

#879463 - Sunday 21 February 2010 19:16

I'm sorry, you must have us confused with MLIA.

Reply

vgmaster | 0

#880230 - Monday 22 February 2010 0:20

how is this an fml?

Reply

Gorsbug823 | 0

#1025821 - Thursday 10 June 2010 2:50

why is this an fml?

Reply

EricWill | 1

#4288501 - Wednesday 11 April 2012 8:17

Kay perdix, you're getting a bit weird

By theian01 | 3

#878915 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:10

When you think about being happy and try to look happy, people look creepy. It's a widely believed fact!

By Rimaa_fml | 0

#878938 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:13

Send him a picture of you being pissed many then he will see why you were happy at some point in your life.

By ticklemeslowly | 0

#878953 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:16

LMAOO @ #3

soooo something i would do ;)

By iheart655 | 0

#878970 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:21

not an fml. he's honest with you. and it's not like he called you ugly, either.

Reply

Sun_Kissed18 | 25

#879036 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:40

Well yeah but there was a nicer way to say that...

Reply

Ajjas013 | 6

#879287 - Sunday 21 February 2010 18:11

Maybe he could kill her family and propose to her over the lifeless carcasses and remains of her dead family. Then taken a 'pretty' picture.

Is that nicer?

Reply

zippit09 | 0

#879375 - Sunday 21 February 2010 18:37

... What?

Reply

couny343 | 1

#880662 - Monday 22 February 2010 2:37

what the f

Reply

polo1996 | 0

#880916 - Monday 22 February 2010 3:59

haha thts hilarious 

By mirix | 6

#878974 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:22

lolz not an fml, that shows that he's an honest boyfriend

By vansbabe66 | 0

#878986 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:25

why's so fml about this? so take another and send it. I sure u take a shit ton anyway. quit being a Pansy

By yourproblemnow | 0

#878990 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:26

lmaooo #3 :))

made my dayy :)

By bluefairy_fml | 24

#879020 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:36

You kinda deserved it. He wanted a photo where you were genuinely happy, not a photo with a fake big grin.

By karinerz | 0

#879032 - Sunday 21 February 2010 16:38

I would apreciate his honesty, but at the same time I wouldn't. Not much of an FML...