Love: Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 1

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 90

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 43

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 25

23/01/2009 12:04

Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 908

You deserved it 8 278

Late term

Leave us alone

Men and their balls

06/07/2018 15:00

Today, I automated a task at work and a day-long procedure ran in a few hours. My boss was completely unimpressed because "I'm not paid to automate stuff, I'm paid to work". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 667

You deserved it 288

Bad blow job

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20

Spicy

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 619

You deserved it 55 652

27/05/2018 20:30

Today, my mom went into a full war against dirt and plastic-wrapped our entire house. The floor, furniture, even our feet now have to be covered in plastic. Everything squeaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 486

You deserved it 237

15/07/2009 08:09

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 686

You deserved it 3 171

20/01/2013 19:28

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 796

You deserved it 4 228

12/09/2016 10:51

Today, my dandruff got so bad that when I sneezed on the bus, it created a "blizzard" of dandruff, covering me, and two others in it. I'm now known as "Winter Wonderland". FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 2 867

23/05/2015 14:50

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 692

You deserved it 1 982

15/11/2012 13:37

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 452

You deserved it 9 607

18/10/2010 11:27

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 731

You deserved it 5 348

Warrior

By Anonymous - 21/09/2015 13:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 392

You deserved it 3 272

Sike

By Anonymous - 20/11/2020 23:02

Today, my 35 year-old sister, who has no job or life, came downstairs and told me she knows I can hear her thoughts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 63

19/05/2012 08:03

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 522

You deserved it 4 526

09/02/2016 21:51

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 276

You deserved it 3 095

30/05/2019 11:26

Today, I found shit smeared into the carpet and I wasn’t sure who to blame, the dog, the newborn baby or the 60-year-old alcoholic mother-in-law whose husband had finally thrown her out. I did eventually find her passed out drunk in my flower bed with shit all down her legs though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 264

You deserved it 128

28/07/2011 05:39

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 378

You deserved it 16 929

08/02/2009 01:23

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 112

You deserved it 3 818

Early bird special

By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 16:00

Today, despite the fact they know I'm commuting hundreds of kilometres, I was requested to come to work at the earliest possible hour, every day. I'll be waking up at half past 3 a.m. and admire sunrises on my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 207

Some people just never learn

By WhatJustHappened - 09/10/2020 14:02

Spicy

Today, as a millennial, I had to explain to a baby boomer why he needs to use condoms when having sex with his 25-year-old girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 170

23/03/2009 07:36

Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 785

You deserved it 9 472

GIVE ME BOOZE, NOW!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 22:01

Today, I got a change of ID. My old ID had its corner cut off and was given a temporary paper ID. I went to a bar in another town to have some drinks. Turns out I couldn't because they couldn't use my old ID or my temporary one to let me drink, even though I'm 22. I've been there before and I work at my town's liquor store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 127

10/03/2010 05:00

Today, I got up on stage excited to recite a spoken word piece that I worked on and memorized for about 20 hours, neglecting other obligations like studying for an exam the next day. I blanked out in the middle of the performance in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 220

You deserved it 7 051

18/06/2013 22:48

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 705

You deserved it 5 825

24/11/2011 13:57

Spicy

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 717

You deserved it 6 194

16/09/2009 02:27

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 560

You deserved it 6 724

19/03/2011 12:13

Today, my purse was stolen. Too bad it had all of my money and my passport. My flight is tomorrow, and the embassy is closed until Monday. Guess who gets to stay in a foreign country with no money and no identification for the next 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 091

You deserved it 4 100

30/10/2009 06:25

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 332

You deserved it 2 551

08/12/2016 14:02

Spicy

Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 726

You deserved it 1 174

Fun

By :$. - 06/07/2012 21:30

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 780

You deserved it 7 597

04/01/2010 13:50

Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 017

You deserved it 8 027

Public freakout

By erineilis - 16/08/2011 14:22

Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 522

You deserved it 17 015

16/08/2018 01:30

Today, while working at my job in a luxury retail store, a woman left me a business card. It was for a plastic surgeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 196

25/09/2013 07:19

Today, I found out that the vacation my mom has been planning to "repair our relationship" was just an opportunity to change her Facebook profile picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 484

You deserved it 2 713

21/08/2013 04:40

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 481

You deserved it 7 381

19/02/2010 05:31

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 20 699

27/06/2014 10:57

Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 436

You deserved it 4 222

Drink it instead!

By SpitBreathe - 25/10/2020 14:00

Today, I found out why the amount of mouthwash hasn't been decreasing much recently when I walked in on my dad using it and then spitting some of it back in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 63

09/07/2018 20:30

Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes and my son had to call an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 883

You deserved it 410

11/09/2014 03:57

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 326

You deserved it 3 257

20/03/2013 14:31

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 564

You deserved it 8 650

15/02/2009 11:35

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 683

You deserved it 6 598

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smellingood10 0

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Friday 3 April 2009 3:13

AHAHAHAHAHA ; sad . Let's dip those things into coconut oil shall we ? Sorry about your boyfriend being like that though (= Tell him that if he makes another comment like that, you'll stick your toes up his nose .

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Friday 3 April 2009 19:41

my feet smell too because i never wear socks.

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smellingood10 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 April 2009 3:13

AHAHAHAHAHA ; sad . Let's dip those things into coconut oil shall we ? Sorry about your boyfriend being like that though (= Tell him that if he makes another comment like that, you'll stick your toes up his nose .

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Friday 3 April 2009 19:41

my feet smell too because i never wear socks.

24788 6

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Thursday 30 April 2009 9:03

You could just take a shower. Some people sweat more than other people causing more odor in some cases.

katherinebby17 28

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Saturday 2 May 2009 11:47

just wash your feet more

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Saturday 9 May 2009 23:42

wash your feet, but what an ass

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Friday 5 June 2009 23:10

okay you should of said, I'll stick them up your ass if you dont shut up.

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Friday 19 June 2009 11:18

He was probbly joking...

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Monday 13 July 2009 22:21

Holy shiiiiiiiiiiit.

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:34

That sucks. One time my boyfriend told me my breath stunk and I just brushed me teeth. After eating like dozens of mints he told me he was joking. So your boyfriend was probably just messing around with you...

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Monday 23 November 2009 20:15

you know someone said to pee on your feet while your in the shower it's works. lol